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#432579 - 04/26/13 08:50 PM movies: TRIGGER WARNING
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
These three movies created a very intense, unpleasant and deep reaction in me.
The titles and descriptions do not give you any warning as to the content.

Can't say if it was good for me or not, but it was very uncomfortable, so...
I strongly advise sensitive SA Survivors to avoid these films if you are NOT secure in your recovery.
---------------------------
The Gift(2000)
Director: Sam Raimi
Writers: Billy Bob Thornton, Tom Epperson
Stars: Cate Blanchett, Giovanni Ribisi, Keanu Reeves
---------------------------
Mysterious Skin(2004)
Director: Gregg Araki
Writers: Gregg Araki, Scott Heim
Stars: Chase Ellison, Elisabeth Shue, Joseph Gordon-Levitt
----------------------------
Blue Velvet(1986)
Director: David Lynch
Writer: David Lynch
Stars: Isabella Rossellini, Kyle MacLachlan, Dennis Hopper
----------------------------
all excellent films, BUT the explicit realistic depictions of SA are so well acted and portrayed, i was negatively impacted to the point of emotional pain and physical reactions.
it felt like shock and took some time to recover.
maybe it was just me, but I feel the need to inform others.
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#432584 - 04/26/13 09:04 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1139
Loc: The ATL

Never seen "The Gift". "Mysterious Skin" is very good but sad and hard to watch for anyone who has been affected by CSA. "Blue Velvet" is amazing. David Lynch is my favorite movie writer/director of all time. He is a genius! Also, "Blue Velvet" is not the only film of his that deals with the issue of SA. "Twin Peaks, Fire Walk With Me" does as well. Some think "Mulholland Drive" does also, but that's only a theory. "Mulholland Drive" is possibly my favorite movie of all time. Peace,

Ken

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#432603 - 04/27/13 01:05 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: BraveFalcon]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
I have watched a bunch of movies which I think are therapeutic for depersonalization disorder.

The therapy comes from actually projecting yourself into the picture. Then it gives you new boundaries and a release of emotions.

Stand By Me: I become Gordi. It gives me a role for what I missed.

Movies on kidnap (some Italian):

Ransom, with Mel Gibson and Brawley Nolte

Flight of the Innocent

I'm Not Scared

A movie about being a teen who can't talk:

Trapped in Silence

Movie about being physically abused by one's father

El Bola.

Puffer

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#432607 - 04/27/13 02:11 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: pufferfish]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
thanks for the insight.
not familiar with the term "depersonalization disorder".
it is new to me, so I am curious.

while I research (google) the phrase, perhaps you could explain what it means to you.

before I became unavoidably conscious of my own SA problems, I was thrilled by the powerful emotions these very same scenes would produce in me. the sicker the better. I craved such intensity.

I was addicted to adrenaline, chaos, sex, violence, death.
now I can't even look at it.

When I see graphic fictional portrayals of grinning sadists achieving pleasure through torture... unnecessary cruelty or suffering of innocent victims at the hands of human predators without empathy or mercy... glamourized charismatic hollywood evil... it really disturbs me... I have to turn it off or look away.

because I work in the movie industry, I am painfully aware of all the time, money, resources, planning and preparation that go into producing just one scene... let alone an entire full length feature film.

I no longer think it is healthy or wise to go to all that effort to create something so ugly, nor do I feel good about watching such emotionally exploitive material.

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#432616 - 04/27/13 05:14 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 613
Loc: where the shadows lie
The lead singer of Counting Crows has depersonalization Disorder. He came out and talked about a few years ago. Helps explain a lot of his songs, and probably why I've always connected with them.
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#432619 - 04/27/13 06:36 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
but what does it mean? "Depersonalization Disorder"
anyone have a good link to a reliable factual explanation?
i have never heard of it.
something i have not been diagnosed with yet smile
not that i need another label.
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#432631 - 04/27/13 12:00 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
txb Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 215
I was told I had depersonalisation disorder last June - I think. I went in expecting to be diagnosed with something else. Can't remember what now, but came out with that instead. Diagnosis doesn't really make any difference to anything. It's not something there is a magic cure for.

I guess wikipedia is as good as source as any for reading up about it. I haven't really found a lot of information about it online or else where.

I can describe a bit about what it's like - for me. Can't speak for everyone. If you've ever had a time where you've been really really tired, like you haven't slept for two days straight or something, where things start to feel kind of unreal, or you are so tired you feel dead, that's kind of how it feels. Like you could be walking through a crowded place with people bumping into you, but you don't feel anything when they do. You can hear your footsteps on the ground but you can't really feel yourself walking. People look really unreal, like if you put your hand out it would go right through them. It's just like you're not really there. Or your brain is there, but it's just not connected up with your body. If you looked at your arm, you'd know it was your own arm, that it was part of you and that you could move it any way you wanted. If you pinched your arm it would hurt. If I looked at my arm, it would just look like a thing, like maybe a fake arm, not something that belonged to me. If I pinched it I'd feel nothing. If I hacked it up with a razor blade I wouldn't feel it either. It would be like I was just standing outside myself watching it happen. The whole thing, the way it makes you feel is really pretty scary.

I'm not like that all the time. There seems to be certain triggers for it (but sometimes not). Like feeling stressed, too much going on in my head, or being really tired. Which is always, because I can never sleep more than a couple of hours at a time. Sometimes it lasts maybe 20 minutes, other times it can last 2 weeks. I believe it's something I learned to do when I was being abused - to completely pretend I wasn't there, and for some reason it still happens, even though there isn't any need.

(Thanks Jacob S for the recommendation of Counting Crows. I never really listened to them much before, I know the Mr Jones song they have, but I'll check out the rest of their stuff.)

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#433443 - 05/03/13 10:45 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: txb]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
A crude way of describing depersonalization disorder:

They fuc-ed the h--l out of him until he didn't know who he was anymore.

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#433448 - 05/03/13 11:42 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
I watched "Mysterious Skin" a few months ago. frown

This is my story (almost).

It is a VERY powerful movie and does an excellent job of portraying CSA when a young boy is groomed into it. The boy (Neil) in the movie is 8 (I was 3-8). It does not show any graphic abuse but I am sure we all have enough memories of our own to fill in the gaps. It does give an insight into the mind of the coach (the pedophile). It also shows the 'cruising scene' when Neil is 15 and older in a realistic way. In fact it was too realistic. It was like a flashback the whole time. It was seriously like watching myself on the screen. Neil - the lead character was so much like me ... the abuse was so much like mine .... the way it affected me as a teenager was the same. It was set around the time stuff happened to me so everything was familiar - the music, the cars, the clothes.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is simply amazing in this role and totally steals the show.

I wanted to make everyone I know watch it and say look - that is what happened to me - that is why I am F#cked up!!! If they did watch it I don't think they could look me in the eye.


Watching this movie was so painful I vowed never to mention it on the main boards in case someone else was tempted to watch it.

It threw me into a pit of self hate that lasted weeks. Disassociation etc. I was damaged goods. I felt like after what happened to me what hope was there for me to have a 'normal' life.

Here is a old thread about the movie... http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=360448&page=1

So you have been warned - watch at your own risk.

Lee
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#433459 - 05/04/13 12:59 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3493
Loc: somewhere in Africa
yup - "Mysterious Skin" also triggered me seriously.

but i was like Brian - the other main character - dysfunctional family - demanding, emotionally distant father figure, emotionally dependent mom. Brian was a high achiever in school who was a "good boy" and never acted out - but denied and repressed all memories into dissociative amnesia. weird thing was that like him i also had a fascination with space aliens and UFOs although i didn't use it as a cover story for my CSA.

it is a powerful film. i first read the book - then saw the movie - found them both very disturbing - hard to say which was a worse trigger. i still haven't fully processed it all.

i add my caution - be VERY CAREFUL if you think this story might trigger you. it probly will be much worse than you imagine.

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#433524 - 05/04/13 04:07 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: pufferfish]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: pufferfish
A crude way of describing depersonalization disorder:

They fuc-ed the h--l out of him until he didn't know who he was anymore.



now i get it.

thanks. PF.
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#433533 - 05/04/13 04:56 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
i have still not recovered from mysterious skin.
it hits far too close to home.

in a bizarre coincidence... last night we (my family) were sitting down together, watching 3rd Rock from the Sun .
i am not too familiar with this show and had hardly paid close attention to it before.
previous random contact with this show told me it was clever light comedy.

then i suddenly recognized the little boy on that show !!!
i had seen him before but had never made the connection.

I blurted out without thinking... "oh my god! is that the guy from mysterious skin?" my 17 year old daughter says, without a moment's hesitation... "yeah, that's Joseph Gordon-Levitt "

i went into shock. "you have seen mysterious skin?"
she answered, without reservation "yeah. i've seen all his movies." apparently she had seen it some years ago, and was a big fan of this handsome actor.

i was so upset that she had seen this movie, and i wanted to know where and how that had happened. my wife, who has never seen it, tried to shut me down, but i was adamant that she should never have seen such a horrible film.

i was angry that i had not been able to protect her from witnessing such disgusting activity. i was horrified that my teenage daughter could not even understand what was so bad about the movie. it was "just a movie". of course my memory of the story was far worse that hers.

long story short, in my agitated state, some disclosure leaked out to my daughter, and my wife tried to contain the damage.

the situation degraded rapidly into a huge argument about power and control, and everyone left me sitting by myself.

i could not sleep all night. finally passed out a few hours ago, but after only a few hours of restless sleep, i woke up to an empty house. i had to cancel all my plans today. i am physically emotionally spiritually mentally all over the place.
i am thinking about marijuana. but i refuse to give in.

it'll be all right. eventually. i always get through it. i am just worried about how long it is gonna take to fully recover this time.
i just broke down and cried while i was typing this.

my family will never understand, and i hope they never do.
i should be grateful that my daughter has no reaction to the disgusting scenes she has witnessed.

now i am laughing at how ridiculous i am.
can you believe i can be triggered by 3rd rock from the sun.
i used to enjoy watching that comedy. now i will be avoiding it.
what really makes me sick, is that i identified far too much with the 15 year old version of the actor.

seeing him as a precocious but innocent smart ass with long dark hair. i wanted to warn him about what was going to happen to him. i wanted him to stay the way he was.

i actually became that confused, that i could not differentiate between an actor, a character, a tv show, and a movie.

it's prayer time. thanks for listening.

i have no right to offer any advice to anyone on this website.
every positive message i have heretofore posted seems like fluffy candy. no meat. the brave face. the false front.
i considered deleting all my previous posts, but i know that person is also real. i will find him again.

i will have to keep my kids out of this, and i am currently not in therapy. sorry for dumping all this garbage here.
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#433545 - 05/04/13 06:39 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: victor-victim
i have still not recovered from mysterious skin.
it hits far too close to home.

I saw that movie twice a few years ago. I know that it has that effect on some guys. I'm sorry you had trouble. Actually my abuse was so very different that I don't get triggered by mysterious skin. I get really triggered by movies showing kidnap. There are several of those around.
Quote:

it's prayer time.

I agree
Quote:

i have no right to offer any advice to anyone on this website.

Yes you do. We have all profited from your posts. Please do not delete any of them.

Puffer

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#433550 - 05/04/13 07:12 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: pufferfish]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
since you asked me not to, i promise i won't delete my posts.
i am feeling better already smile
had a good talk with my family about an hour ago.
they don't understand me, of course not, but they love me.

it gets easier every time, does it not?

i already know from past experience that withdrawing into a whirlpool of "why why why" is a waste of precious time.
one of my many therapists taught me how to break the downward spiral, when she identified what i was doing.

she said something like, "oh, that is what you do... you ruminate and escalate when you contemplate. you need to ventilate"
i did not quite understand her at the time, i was too busy venting to hear with my heart.
(* venting is not the same as ventilating).
what she said stuck with me, though, because i was not familiar with some of the words, and my pride would not allow that.

i had to look them up in a dictionary later, and it was one of those epiphany moments. once i understood it, it stopped.
as timothy leary once said... "once you get the message, you can hang up the phone"

i am too old and wise to succumb to the panic anymore.

i have finally learned to put some distance between my compulsions and my actions.

i appreciate your concern.

pretty silly, and yet so serious.
this is who we are blush

* my definitions...
VENTING: letting out steam to avoid an explosion
VENTILATING: open a window and let in some fresh air
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#433552 - 05/04/13 07:47 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3493
Loc: somewhere in Africa
thank you, V-V!

you have only been on my radar a short time - but you have already made an impact and help my understnading and process of putting things together.

i benefitted from your story above. i get it. hope you are profitting from sharing here as much as others are from your participation.

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#433556 - 05/04/13 08:17 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: traveler]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
thanks for listening and responding.
it really does make a difference knowing you guys are there.

i am actually suprised how much it matters.
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#433584 - 05/05/13 01:47 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
V-V

Awww MAN!! I know how you feel.

I would freak out if my daughter had seen it too (mind you she is only 10) but if she ever saw it. The one thing that is a shining light in this is that the movie did not have a huge effect on her. I think it is FANTASTIC that she doesn't understand. You HAVE protected her - obviously.

I actually think this last episode gives you more right to say all the positive things you have posted..... because you REALLY know how it feels to be at the negative side of things and how to get back again. You have had heaps of great stuff to say since your return and I would be disappointed if you deleted them too.

Like you said it does get easier every time.

You know I do not actually regret watching the movie because it helped me identify with my younger self more. Like I said before this was almost the same as my story. It helped to see that Neils actions at 15 were so obviously a reaction to the abuse he suffered at 8. In short - it was not his fault ....so it shouldn't be mine either.

Lee
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#433587 - 05/05/13 04:00 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: Farmer Boy]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
gratitude
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#436196 - 05/29/13 11:29 AM hounddog: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
This movie created a very intense, unpleasant and deep reaction in me.
The title and description do not give you any warning as to the content.

I strongly advise sensitive SA Survivors to avoid this film if you are NOT secure in your recovery.
---------------------------
Hounddog(2007)
Director: Deborah Kampmeier
Writer: Deborah Kampmeier
Stars: Dakota Fanning, Granoldo Frazier, Piper Laurie
----------------------------

the movie is well crafted, but the content includes child sexuality and abuse. possible triggers for survivors.

_________________________
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#436198 - 05/29/13 12:15 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
I watched Conspiracy Theory over the weekend. It is much better than the 2 movies on Manchurian Candidate in my opinion. The things that seem most realistic to me were: sense of isolation in the character played by Mel Gibson. The interest in how he responded was intriguing. It was interesting that his programming failed. He had "break through" where he was able to get glimpses of what was going on with him. I liked the part best where he bit the doctor's nose and escaped. The movie was suspenseful.

Puffer


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#436203 - 05/29/13 01:01 PM uptopia/psychoville: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
"conspiracy theory" was a great movie.
it was truth in disguise.

have you seen "UtopIa" yet?

warning * trigger
http://streamallthis.ch/watch/utopia/


brilliant british mini-serires about mind-control.

and "Psychoville" is just as disturbing and revealing.

warning * trigger
http://streamallthis.ch/watch/psychoville/
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#436770 - 06/04/13 12:04 AM lawn dogs: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
Another movie with a title that does not give you any warning as to the content.

I strongly advise sensitive SA Survivors to avoid this film if you are NOT secure in your recovery.
---------------------------
Lawn Dogs(1997)
Director: John Duigan
Writer: Naomi Wallace
Stars: Mischa Barton, Sam Rockwell, Christopher McDonald
----------------------------


the movie is well crafted, but the content concerns adult/child relationships. possible triggers for survivors.



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#436774 - 06/04/13 12:30 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
I watched United States of Tara yesterday. It's about DID or multiple personality disorder. All of season 1 was on one dvd. I couldn't complete it. It was kind of making a joke out of a serious illness. It does show how a DID person will shift from one personality to another. But it became pretty irritating to see her go from one bizarre state to another.

Puffer

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#436798 - 06/04/13 05:50 AM ken park: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: pufferfish]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
Another movie with a title that gives no warning as to the extreme content.

I strongly advise sensitive SA Survivors to avoid this film if you are NOT secure in your recovery.
---------------------------
Ken Park(2002)
Directors: Larry Clark, Edward Lachman
Writers: Harmony Korine, Larry Clark
Stars: Adam Chubbuck, James Bullard, Seth Gray
----------------------------

the movie is well produced, but the content concerns child sexuality and abuse. possible triggers for survivors.

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Victor|Victim

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#436799 - 06/04/13 06:03 AM Maladolescenza: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
Another movie with a title that gives no warning as to the extreme content, unless you speak italian.

I strongly advise sensitive SA Survivors to avoid this film if you are NOT secure in your recovery.
---------------------------
Maladolescenza(1977)
Director: Pier Giuseppe Murgia
Writers: Peter Berling, Dieter Geissler
Stars: Lara Wendel, Eva Ionesco, Martin Loeb
----------------------------

the movie is well produced, but the content concerns child exploitation and sexuality. possible triggers for survivors.

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Victor|Victim

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#436801 - 06/04/13 06:40 AM professional: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
This movie appears innocent enough, but I find it very uncomfortable to watch.
The serious subject matter is handled in a joking light-hearted fashion, but it is still disturbing.

I strongly advise sensitive SA Survivors to avoid this film if you are NOT secure in your recovery.
---------------------------
The Professional(1994)
Director: Luc Besson
Writer: Luc Besson
Stars: Jean Reno, Gary Oldman, Natalie Portman
----------------------------

the movie is well written and acted, but the suggestive content concerns child abuse, exploitation, sexuality, and inappropriate adult/child relationships. possible triggers for survivors.
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#437199 - 06/07/13 02:43 AM Happiness [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
Another movie with a title that gives no warning as to the extreme content. I thought this was going to be a comedy.
It is a seriously twisted drama, full of triggers.


I strongly advise sensitive SA Survivors to avoid this film if you are NOT secure in your recovery.
---------------------------
Happiness(1998)
Director: Todd Solondz
Writer: Todd Solondz
Stars: Jane Adams, Jon Lovitz, Philip Seymour Hoffman
----------------------------

excellent actors, but a very sick script including child rape.

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#438174 - 06/14/13 01:44 PM Beauty [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
Another movie with a title that does not give you any warning as to the triggering content.

I strongly advise sensitive SA Survivors to avoid this film if you are NOT secure in your recovery.
---------------------------
Beauty(2011)
Director: Oliver Hermanus
Writer: Oliver Hermanus, Didier Costet
Stars: Deon Lotz, Charlie Keegan, Michelle Scott
----------------------------

with no warning, a graphic rape scene occurs.
possible triggers for survivors.
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#439856 - 07/02/13 11:19 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: pufferfish]
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 330
On The Doll
You can now watch the whole uncensored movie on Youtube. . . DON'T. MOTHER OF GOD! DON'T!

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#439895 - 07/03/13 09:07 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 917
Loc: New York
The foreign films section of your video store (or Netflix, whatever) probably has "Pixote," a famous film about Brazilian street orphans struggling to survive and find safe places and families for themselves. There is a discomfiting amount of teenaged nudity, several immensely creepy scenes where the boys are "groomed" by an obvious perp (though they resist and escape), and a horrid older boy / younger boy rape scene. Seeing how they deal with all this, emotionally, is very bracing.
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#439905 - 07/03/13 11:46 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 745
Loc: Southeast USA
It may have already been mentioned, but "Kids" (1995) was very, very disturbing to me. Uncontrolled children, violence, underage sex, HIV.

I saw it in the theater with a couple of friends when it came out. The film made me physically ill. I walked out to the lobby for a few minutes during one scene, but went back and managed to finish it, but damn..it put me in a funk that lasted a week.

Will
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#439914 - 07/03/13 01:57 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 334
Loc: Iowa, USA
I saw "Kids" on HBO or Cinemax, and I couldn't take it. I had to switch the channel. What really bothers me is that when the movie was released, critics raved about it. It was described as being "real" and that if you didn't like it or if you objected to it, you somehow didn't get it. The enlightened people understood the film and were therefore superior to the rest of us.

All it did was exploit the actors in the film, but more so, it insulted and damaged real CSA survivors.

DavO

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#440065 - 07/04/13 04:33 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: DavoSwim]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 745
Loc: Southeast USA
Dave,

I see you feel the same way. The friends who watched it with me thought it was a tough film, but couldn't understand why it messed me up the way it did. Messed me up it did. I couldn't get it out of my head. I really was in a dark place for days afterward. Exploitative is right---the actors and THIS member of the audience for sure.

No redeeming value.

Just thinking about it gives me a terrible feeling. Even if I hear anything from the soundtrack, I get uneasy.
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#457700 - 12/31/13 04:38 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: Suwanee]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Since my post in this thread, I watched Clockwork Orange.

It is pretty provocative. The idea is that the "girls" are mind-controlled sex slaves.

But since watching it I find that some people say that it actually goes on in real life. Orange is supposed to by a symbolic color of Illuminati sex control or something like that. But I hate to give up the color orange to the enemy, since I happen to like orange.

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#457705 - 12/31/13 05:12 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: pufferfish]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 619
Loc: VA
I watched the movie "Clockwork Orange" not long ago, and it seemed weirdly dated and unrealistic. Why? It's set amongst the teens of the "near future" (as imagined in the 1960's), and... there were NO SCREENS ANYWHERE! No social media, smartphones, computers... none of the tech toys that have engulfed our society.

A much better Malcolm McDowell fantasy movie is "O Lucky Man," the surreal adventures of an English coffee salesman. Honest.

John

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#468095 - 07/27/14 11:49 PM the CHANGELING [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3432
Loc: O Kanada
Here is another one to add to the list.
This movies created a very intense, unpleasant and deep reaction in me.
The titles gave me no warning, and I was lured in by the big names.
I thought I was going to see a remake of The Changeling from 1980 with George C. Scott.
I had no idea what it was really about until it was in my face.

Can't say if it was good for me or not, but it was very uncomfortable, so...
I strongly advise sensitive SA Survivors to avoid these films if you are NOT secure in your recovery.
---------------------------
The Changeling(2008)
Director: Clint Eastwood
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski
Stars: Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich
----------------------------

This movie was technically excellent,
but the story had too many elements that were similar to my own.
It is based on a true story known as the "Wineville Chicken Coop Murders".
That pretty much tells you all you need to know.
If that had been the title, I would not have watched the film.

The case of serial killer Gordon Stewart Northcott is so surpassingly bizarre, so full of incredible twists, that even a full-length feature film from one of Hollywood's premiere directors couldn't properly do it justice.

It is, in fact, one of the strangest cases in the history of American justice. Yet this nearly-forgotten story of abuse of power, family dysfunction, and deception remains deeply relevant today, in a time when unlawful detainment, official malfeasance, and extralegal measures like "extraordinary rendition" are common.

By the time the events of the "Wineville chicken coop murders" reached their tragic conclusion, a police force had been disgraced, a town had decided to change its name, and at least five people were dead.

trigger warning - read at your own risk
http://swallowingthecamel.blogspot.ca/2008/12/real-stories-behind-changeling.html
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#469565 - 09/01/14 05:05 AM Re: movies [Re: victor-victim]
lostc Offline


Registered: 08/12/14
Posts: 42
I haven't watched it yet but I am going to, The Unsaid (2001) *Spoilers!* has parts about a boy having been sexually abused by a male family friend and another boy being sexually abused by his mother. There is also depression/suicide. I would say it could well be triggering for others. Looks interesting to me.

Also Last Ride (2009) is all about a father on the run with his son who he emotionally/physically abuses. Again haven't watched it but is probably very triggering too.

Also, for those who don't know, on imdb.com you can find almost all movies - Most of the time if you click on Parent's Guide within a movie's own page, you will see the details of any sexual or abusive scenes which could be triggering to watch.


Edited by lostc (09/01/14 05:42 AM)

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#469566 - 09/01/14 05:35 AM Re: movies [Re: victor-victim]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3493
Loc: somewhere in Africa
I just watched “Good Will Hunting” for the first time last night. I was unprepared for the not too unpredictable “surprise” that the title character had been abused as a boy. Though the script refers to verbal and physical abuse and does not mention sexual abuse, it was not difficult to imagine that happening too, especially from my experience, where all three kinds were intermingled inseparably.

I was impressed by the sensitivity of the performances and the perception of the script-writing, especially that is was written by two such young men - Damon & Affleck. Not only was it an amazing debut for the quality of the characterizations and plot and dialog, but the research required to make the situations and basic premises believable were admirable. For me, what was most remarkable was the depth of understanding of the psychological issues that were involved in the main characters’ lives. It made me wonder if there might not be some personal experience on either the first-hand or by direct observation.

However, I was very disappointed in the ending. I know that the structure of a movie plot requires that the climax be followed immediately by a quick dénouement and an emotionally satisfying ending. But from personal experience, I can testify that it takes more than a quick acknowledgement that abuse took place, repetition of “It was not your fault” 10 times in quick succession, a good cry, a hearty hug and a pat on the back to “recover” from years of ingrained self-destructive emotional and mental habits. Suddenly, the guy has health and self-esteem. He lands a prestigious job, gets a car, finds his independence, and takes off into the sunset (or sunrise?) to win the girl. For those who have not gone through therapy for abuse, this may be a great happy ending. For the rest of us it rings false and was a big disappointment. If only it were that easy!

Lee
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Something deep inside...
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#469684 - 09/04/14 02:06 PM Re: movies [Re: victor-victim]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 619
Loc: VA
I don't expect any movie to give me answers, but several of them have helped me identify problems. Thus, I can enjoy movies that end too glibly.

For example, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower": The total, immediate, unwavering, unconditional support that Charlie receives from his family and friends, though completely unrealistic, highlighted for me what has gone wrong in the absence of support.

"Good Will Hunting": Will's epiphany comes almost out of nowhere, but I think the disappointment is that we never learn much about his past--just a glimpse of photographed bruises, and a few allusions to how he got them. We learn a lot more about the shrink's life and history. OTOH, I find it instructive that Will had plenty of buds to hang around with, but all they did together was hit the bars--nobody's life changed. [Side Note: My wife took me out to see GWH when it appeared in theaters and my FB's were relatively new. She thought a movie would cheer me up... Oops! Of course, I also think she just wanted to see Matt Damon without his shirt.]

Darker movies like "The Unspoken", "Mysterious Skin" and "I Know My First Name Is Steven" have more "realistic" endings, in that they lack resolutions. I guess that proves the saying that "The difference between reality and fiction is that fiction has to make sense."

Peace! John

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#469911 - 09/11/14 10:09 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1447
There was a movie a while back - made for TV - called Judgment Day: The Ellie Nesler Story. I saw it both before therapy and afterwards. Before I went in for counseling, the movie hit me hard but I never made the connections as to why. It certainly was disturbing, and I thought that was it. After therapy - when my eyes were finally opened to the crimes perpetrated against me by my "big brother" mentor, this movie was a deep punch in the gut. It was in so many ways my story (although in other ways - especially the resolution - it was not).

My relationship to my abuser was very much like the one depicted in the movie. Brandon (the victim) even offers himself to protect his sister when he sees Danny (the abuser) at their house pushing her swing in the yard. That's very similar to what I did. The way Danny schmoozed Ellie to hand the keys of her children over to him was another very strong point of correlation to my own experiences. Seeing those scenes made me angry. But there was one scene in particular that made me cry...

The scene that reduced me to streaming tears was when the victim revealed his awful secret to his aunt and then to his mother. Ellie just hugged her child and cried with him - just this full support that essentially defined them both as Danny Driver's victims. That is not what happened to me. I told my mom, pleaded with her not to tell my father - and for my sins I got my wish. It was never discussed again. My mother helped perpetuate the secret I carried - while in this movie, the secret was released in a powerful catharsis. No wonder that scene sets me to tears.

Another movie that raised the "ick" factor with me was The Graduate. It was very popular with my peers but I always had a tough time appreciating it, and remember leaving during the seduction scenes. No wonder. Perhaps the ages and genders and even situations were different - but the grooming and power-play seductions were the same. I sometimes wonder if that plays into the myth of acceptable sexual intiiation. I mean, how would the movie play of it was Mr. Robinson seducing Ben? Of course the issue is no better or worse regardless of the genders, but it highlights the double standard in our society. The Mary Kay Letourneaus are splashed across the news headlines in an almost titillative fashion, while the very same crimes involving same gender perps/victims are not even looked at (unless they blow up to a scandal large enough to threaten the reputation of the Paternos and Popes of the world - achieving a size impossible to ignore). The real crime is the abusive application of relative power of the worldly and manipulative adult over one who has not yet found his voice in the world or developed the weight of character necessary to keep his feet planted firmly on the ground of his convictions.
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