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#432202 - 04/23/13 06:21 PM Meditate... not fixate
SamV Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5935
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
To fixate: Verb
Cause (someone) to acquire an obsessive attachment to someone or something: "fixated on photography".
Acquire such an obsessive attachment to: "it is important not to fixate on animosity"

To meditate:
Verb
Think deeply or focus for a time for spiritual purposes or to relax. Think deeply or carefully about (something).

I find I fixate on negative, shocking, traumatizing things while I know I can resolve these by creating a plan of action and then working through the plan. The problem is I do not have any PROOF that the plan will work, so I go back to fixating.

Fixating sucks the energy from my positive acts. I can do three of four positive things for myself and others, then literally become destroyed by fixating on abusive actions.

I have seen some success in meditating, but no pill, no drink and no coping mechanism can work through fixating. I have to resolve the fixating, but I was never taught how.

I want to know how. I am beginning it understand that I can react appropriately when a situation arises. I want that.

Sam
_________________________
My SENSITIVE Difference

"Lets talk about that."

Go Get A Hug: HUG>porn

*When provoked* "Anyone holding back his sayings is possessed of knowledge. (Proverbs 17:27)"

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#432217 - 04/23/13 09:37 PM " [Re: SamV]
lbcali1978 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/12
Posts: 217
"


Edited by lbcali1978 (04/29/13 01:19 AM)
_________________________
They said

Come home

I said

I'm confused and alone

They said

We understand

I found out they don't

I'll walk the path exactly how I've always done it

Alone

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#432320 - 04/24/13 10:32 PM Re: Meditate... not fixate [Re: SamV]
SamV Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5935
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
I can try ibcali,

Abuse creates a fixation, a hyper awareness to negative things, feelings and actions. We then go through our lives paying attention to negative things, planning for them, avoiding them, falling to them.

The opposite is meditation.

Meditating is how to react to negative things in a positive, productive way promoting a good feeling inside us. Looking at birds or waterfalls is a distraction, but I find that I cannot be distracted for long if I am fixating on an issue. I need to think about, to really ponder on how I can think and act in a way that supports me, makes me feel better and does not create drama, fear, guilt or anger in myself and/or others.
_________________________
My SENSITIVE Difference

"Lets talk about that."

Go Get A Hug: HUG>porn

*When provoked* "Anyone holding back his sayings is possessed of knowledge. (Proverbs 17:27)"

Top
#432337 - 04/25/13 01:07 AM " [Re: SamV]
lbcali1978 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/12
Posts: 217
"


Edited by lbcali1978 (04/29/13 01:20 AM)
_________________________
They said

Come home

I said

I'm confused and alone

They said

We understand

I found out they don't

I'll walk the path exactly how I've always done it

Alone

Top
#432352 - 04/25/13 05:35 AM Re: Meditate... not fixate [Re: SamV]
OCN Offline


Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 185
Loc: Western Europe
have been going through this as well lately.. started meditating a bit and it actually works for me.. but today i'm fixating on my thoughts way too much

it sometimes feels like you have to relearn everything..

my take is that it takes time. You might want to try breathing exercise when you start to fixate (e.g. focus your awareness on the breath, every time you lose the focus, be gentle to yourself and bring your attention back to your breath).

I've always lived with the idea that things can be arranged in no time, thats one of my major fixations i have to deal with. Letting go and letting life flow.. so difficult yet i know that the alternative aint working..

good luck!

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