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#43228 - 02/12/03 04:19 PM I hate wasps!!
Little_E Offline
Member & Volunteer
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 11/14/02
Posts: 169
Loc: London UK
Last nite I had a nightmare!! I've not had one in a while, (due to dont sleeping). But since I got a new girlfriend, she makes me sleep! But half way throught the night I had one, and in my sleep lashed out hitting her, and the wall, which woke me up! She was ok, no harm done! But it just scared the shit out of me! I'm gona share the nightmare with you, cause i just need to let it out! From what i can rember...

"There where wasps everywhere, and they kept flying at me, they where BIG wasps to, like Tennis balls (maybe Bigger)!! They all had the head/face of my perv. With thoue glasses on! I dont know where i got it from but there was a bat in my hand and i started trying to wacke em. But they where to fast and kept getting away, and then hitting me. I was helpless, I couldnt do anything, no matter what i tryed they kept getting me!......"

Then i hit the wall and woke up! To see my Gf looking at me, saying whats wrong! And all i could say was "I FUCKING HATE WASPS".

Elliot!

_________________________
If your not livin on the edge your taking up to much space!

DISTUBED VISIONS OF AN UNDERWORLD!!

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#43229 - 02/12/03 05:42 PM Re: I hate wasps!!
MrEdd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/24/03
Posts: 317
Loc: Texas
LOL I'm not real fond of them either. I'm allergic. Emergency room type allergic.

_________________________
Some Things are not problems to be solved, rather, they are facts which must be coped with over time.

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#43230 - 02/12/03 05:54 PM Re: I hate wasps!!
RJD Offline
Member

Registered: 02/18/01
Posts: 326
Loc: jefferson City, Mo,usa
I'm sorry you had such a scary night Little-E. I hope it helped to vent. This certainly is the place for it.

I've had a dream where I've waken slamming my fist into the mattress next to me and narrowly missing my wife. I'm not sure what the dream was about anymore.


I hope you won't mind if I go into a true story about my experience here.

This is about the dumbest thing I've ever done. When you mentioned the baseball bat I saw it all happening again.

It was a hot summer day and I was doing a woodworking project in the yard hammering nails into boards. I still had the hammer in my right hand when I went into the carport looking for something.
I hadn't noticed the new hornets nest about 6 inches above my head when one stung me on the right earlobe.
My automatic reflex was to swat at my ear with my right hand.

When the hammer was about eye level I realized what I was doing, but it was too late. It was too late because of the force I was using to swat at the hornet.

WWHACK!!! I almost knocked myself out.

The first thing I did while I was still stunned and in pain, was to look around to see if anyone had seen what I had done. No one saw, but the embarrassment was unmerciful.

I didn't know whether to fall over laughing at myself for what I had done, or scream and cry in pain from the hammer upside my head, let alene the throbbing sting of the hornet..

And I used to think the Three Stooges exagerations were too absurd to be real. Who could be that dumb!!!

I don't think a baseball bat would have hurt any less, especially where pride was concerned.

Nothing quit matched that, but I've had close seconds.


I went back to school soon after that incident and began to get straight A's.

I wonder....


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#43231 - 02/12/03 06:48 PM Re: I hate wasps!!
guy43 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
Elliot,

I've had bad dreams where I've woken up lashing out, last time this happened I knocked over my night stand-lamp... ccrraasshh pppoooppp. I wonder if a symbolic act such as magic marker the perps face on ballons and popping them one by one would help. Or taking a baseball bat and wacking the hell out of a matress...

One of the men in a group I was in wrote "F... you " on the bottom of both shoes, every step he took was a symbolic crushing down and eliminating the perp from his life.

On the lighter side - I saw the title of this thread and thought 'oh no... not WASPS... ' (white anglo saxton..) \:\)

Actually, one summer night I was in a deep sleep and started having a wierd dream of getting burned. As I started slowly waking, the burning on my arm got worse, as I came fully awake it felt like my arm was getting stabbed with a hot poker. I brushed off the bed sheet and my arm and felt something fly away in the dark. After freaking out and scrambling to turn on the light, I found a wasp angerly buzzing around the room. All told the little bastard had stung me five or six times. I got the little bastard in the end, after much leaping and dodging about, armed only with a rolled up magazine.

RJD, I'm rather glad I didn't have a short sword in hand hehehe

jer


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#43232 - 02/12/03 10:04 PM Re: I hate wasps!!
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Little E. I dont know about your past or how old you are. The dream is a fairly important one for you though. I have had similar dreams about my perps and others. In them I want to hurt them all but cannot quite make it. they always elude me and keep at me with the violence (which by the way I had become addicted to) . I have been in therapy for some 6 years now and the dreams did not return until I was in therapy. This all happened from 4-22 years of age. I am 62 now. I think the dreams meant to me that although I wanted to lash out and stop it I was helpless to do so and this was what I was comfortable with. Maybe in my mind I did not want to suceed but that is not the point. I believe that it was that helpless young man inside me that was screaming for help from the adult me. The dreams have lessened now but I still get them. I feel like such a shit that I cannot help him but I will keep trying. The constant stinging you experienced might have been symbolically the pain you endured. You have strength though because you have survived. We dont give ourselves much credit for that but it shows real strength. Dont dwell on it too much. I like the suggestion of writing your perps name or what you called him on the soles of your shoes and maybe walking in dog shit. Another thing you might want to try is taking a big fly swatter to bed with you with his name on it. Once I wrote fucking perp on the toilet bowl in enamel and everytime I used the bathroom I got a reall high from either crapping or pissing on it. Sort of a ritual. A bit extreme but it helped me. Keep at it brother cause you will WIN This thing. THEY CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO WIN

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#43233 - 02/13/03 01:29 PM Re: I hate wasps!!
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Elliot, I'm scared shitless of wasps & hornets & such too!

Had some really bad experiences. Once got stung in the face by a certain type of blue hornet, the sting of which can be fatal if in the face. My lip got stung, and swelled up like a ballooon. Never had such a horrible nightmare about them tho. As Mike says, it could have some real meaning
something you could deal with.

I like some of the suggestions you guys made:

RJD, venting is always good & this is a great place to do it.

Quote:
I wonder if a symbolic act such as magic marker the perps face on ballons and popping them one by one would help. Or taking a baseball bat and wacking the hell out of a matress...

One of the men in a group I was in wrote "F... you " on the bottom of both shoes, every step he took was a symbolic crushing down and eliminating the perp from his life.
Jer, I like that last one. I'd like to try something like that...

Quote:
I like the suggestion of writing your perps name or what you called him on the soles of your shoes and maybe walking in dog shit. Another thing you might want to try is taking a big fly swatter to bed with you with his name on it. Once I wrote fucking perp on the toilet bowl in enamel and everytime I used the bathroom I got a reall high from either crapping or pissing on it. Sort of a ritual. A bit extreme but it helped me. Keep at it brother cause you will WIN This thing. THEY CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO WIN
Thanks Mike this stuff is great!

Fellas, I don't mean to belittle your nightmares or bad experiences; God knows I've had my own. But you guys have really got me ROFLMAO with some of these stories & ideas! Also really got me thinking (you've been warned!).

Pictures say a thousand words, so here's a picture for:


Elliot:
Getting a good night's sleep.


MrEdd: [img]http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/alles_moegliche/allesmoegliche011[/img]
Smashing the wasps before they can sting him.


RJD:
OUCH! Well at least I got that damned wasp!

Jer:
Watch out with that sword, buddy!

Mike:
Flush that perp!

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#43234 - 02/13/03 02:53 PM Re: I hate wasps!!
Chey-Wy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 241
Loc: Cheyenne, WY
Elliot,

I too HATE WASPS. A few years ago there was one in my house. I had taken a shower and droped my towel on the floor. I picked the towel up and took a step forward and there was a wasp on the floor under the towel. I stepped on him. To make a long story short ... I couldn't get a shoe on for three days.

I like all the ideas that guys have suggested here. Actually, one of my T's had me do a similar excerise. He wanted me to come up with a mental picture of my perp. ( I have had three perps but we were working on one the second perp at the time) He wanted me to describe my perp to him. I saw my perp as a very powerful man. Then he wanted me to picture him again but as something that I could control.

I had a hard time when I was doing this because all I could see was the power that my perp had over me. But now I see that it is me that has the power over him (them). I still have a hard time visualizing me having control over them. But get a mental picture of your perp. Shit on him, rub him in dog shit, flush him down the toilet.

Back to the Wasps thing. I have purchased a Yellow Jacket trap at Homo Depot. There is an attractant that lures the wasp into the trap. Once the wasp fly into it they can't get out of. The heat of the sun bakes them. Kind of like what I hope my perps do ..... burn in hell.

Good luck to you.

And pleasant dreams

John

_________________________
From the Song MOUNTAINS by Lonestar.

Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb

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#43235 - 02/13/03 03:44 PM Re: I hate wasps!!
Jess Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/03
Posts: 107
Loc: California
Victor, Little_E, Mike, Jer, RJD, MrEdd, I just read these posts here and all I can say is that you guys are fantastic!

Victor, your pictures speak volumes, man! How do you do that?

For Little_E and Mike: I had almost the same thought about your dream, Elliot, when I read it as Mike did. In your dream you identified your perp as the flying wasps. They were all over the place and impossible to handle or control. You consciously tried to fight off the perpetrator who was stinging you time and time again. I think that this is pretty significant. It could indicate that your subconscious mind believes that you did not invite, nor were you a party to, the abuse that was being perpetrated upon you. Your dream also illustrates that you were not able to control the attacks of your perp, at the time. That's how it commonly is for many Survivors. I myself was 4-5 when the original abuse began, and it was so healing and comforting to me when one of the Brothers here asked me, "Jess, when you were 4 years old and you were being abused by that adult man, how much control did you have over the situation?" I answered, "None." He told me that was right and that is why I should stop feeling guilty, dirty and ashamed, because it was all on the perpetrator and not on myself. I gained such freedom from those wise words given to me by an understanding Brother Survivor. In your dream, Elliot, your valiant though ineffective efforts to stop the perp from attacking you shows courage and strength of character. Also, the subject of your dream may not just be limited to the original abuse situation, but it could also indicate that you are continuing your valiant fight against the psychological trauma and damaging after-effects of that abuse, hence the continuous stings and attempts by the many wasps trying to attack you over and over. Little-E, you are on the road to recovery and you are healing. You are fighting a good fight and eventually, one by one, you're going to knock each of those wasps dead until none are left to sting you, my Brother. You are going to win the battle! We all are.

RJD: Brother! Ow! I could see it happening as I was reading it. I visualized the hammer, I could almost feel the blow to my own head. I swear, I think I even saw those yellow stars that spin around in front of your eyes like in the cartoons. Now, is that empathetic or what? I must have had a similar experience in my life. That would be more PATHETIC than empathetic. Talk about triggering a memory!

Jer: Thanks for the idea you shared about the healing power that can come from the therapeutic use of our shoes. I am going to allow my 4 year old "inner child" to write the name(s) of our perp/perps on the soles of my shoes (sans the expletive, in case someone - like a child - can read it) and my 4 year old little "inner child" is going to take such deliberate and delightful "STEPS OF HEALING" whenever and wherever he walks around with my grown up shoes on his feet. What wonderful support you all give to me and what great suggestions you all have to share. Thanks, Little-E, for sharing. I am always so amazed at the healing and support that comes out of each new topic, and the replies to them, in this forum. Sincerely, Jess.


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#43236 - 02/13/03 06:29 PM Re: I hate wasps!!
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
A few years ago, while in therapy, I had a dream about the childrens nursery rhyme character Humpty Dumpty, with a hard on ! him, not me.
The teacher who abused me we called egghead, I can't remember the bald bastards real name. ( no offence to any follicly challenged guys out there, I'm rapidly joining the ranks )

I'm also with Mr Edd, anaphylactic shock and the whole damn works, I hate wasps.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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