Like many others I have made some very distructive choices in my life that should have ended my marriage ..... attributed to the abuse ...... to self distruct my relationships. I have been very fortunate to have the understanding and support of my Wife in facing this part of my life.
You are far ahead of where I was when I arrived here. I knew nothing but the fact that I couldn't hold it in anymore, and that it hurt like hell. You will find the men here to be supportive and nonjudgemental about what happened to you, as well as about whatever "destructive choices" you've made. Most of us have made destructive choices in our lives, have had to face our demons, and by the grace of God, lived to tell about it. Whatever happens, know that you are not alone, and there are about 11,000 guys here who have your back.
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "Joni Mitchell