I can try ibcali,
Abuse creates a fixation, a hyper awareness to negative things, feelings and actions. We then go through our lives paying attention to negative things, planning for them, avoiding them, falling to them.
The opposite is meditation.
Meditating is how to react to negative things in a positive, productive way promoting a good feeling inside us. Looking at birds or waterfalls is a distraction, but I find that I cannot be distracted for long if I am fixating on an issue. I need to think about, to really ponder on how I can think and act in a way that supports me, makes me feel better and does not create drama, fear, guilt or anger in myself and/or others.
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014