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#43201 - 05/30/01 01:33 AM about to throw the shit directly into the fan
Harry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/09/01
Posts: 118
Loc: California
Finally started to do something about it all. Have an appointment with my doctor who will refer me to a therapist. its been too long doing nothing, so now i am doing something. but shit this is nervewracking. i'm just waiting for the shit to hit the fan, and it makes me wanna say fuck it all, and want to escape. i feel more like by starting all this that i am ending my life instead of beginning it, i dont know why. i really want an escape right now. anything. i'm about to throw out everything into the open that i have been dealing with on own for years. i know it should make me feel relieved but its scary and actually dangerous. i have to be careful. i dont want to get anyone in trouble.

_________________________
In the name of the Anger, and of the Sadness, and of the Unholy Fear. Amen.

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#43202 - 05/30/01 10:20 AM Re: about to throw the shit directly into the fan
SoCalJohn Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California
Harry,

Yeah, its some scary stuff for sure, but dude, hang with it, your not the only one going through this stuff and you do have friends and support here. It will get better. Your doing good dude! \:\)

John

_________________________
I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.

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#43203 - 05/30/01 10:38 AM Re: about to throw the shit directly into the fan
Brian B14 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/04/01
Posts: 122
Loc: New York
Harry,

Way to go!!! You deserve to feel better about yourself and to let go of the pain! You are on your way to a better life. Congratulations!!

Be aware that this is a process and not an event. I will take a while to start feeling better. You will go through a lot more pain and anger before you see the benifits. MAKE NO MISTAKE... IT IS ALL WORTH IT IN THE LONG RUN!!

You are taking a big step. We are all proud of you!!

Brian ;\)


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#43204 - 05/30/01 08:16 PM Re: about to throw the shit directly into the fan
fmighell Offline
Member

Registered: 02/19/01
Posts: 276
Loc: Anchorage,Alaska
;\) I can't hardly wait to hear how it goes for you.
fmighell Anc Ak ;\)


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#43205 - 05/30/01 08:19 PM Re: about to throw the shit directly into the fan
Harry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/09/01
Posts: 118
Loc: California
I'll be sure to let ya know. \:\)

_________________________
In the name of the Anger, and of the Sadness, and of the Unholy Fear. Amen.

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#43206 - 05/30/01 09:06 PM Re: about to throw the shit directly into the fan
fmighell Offline
Member

Registered: 02/19/01
Posts: 276
Loc: Anchorage,Alaska
Danger? Trouble?
fmighell Anc Ak


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#43207 - 05/30/01 09:38 PM Re: about to throw the shit directly into the fan
fmighell Offline
Member

Registered: 02/19/01
Posts: 276
Loc: Anchorage,Alaska
No don't not yet wait tell it's safe for you.
fmighell Anc Ak


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#43208 - 05/31/01 10:55 AM Re: about to throw the shit directly into the fan
thunderbolt Offline
Member

Registered: 04/21/01
Posts: 119
Loc: mi
have been doing the same for quite a while too, have been sprading the shit around for a few years now, im going to say i am relived some what, the scary part blow my mind and still does to this day, but the rush i get is just like the rush i had when i was before it,(thats my speculation), i have alwise faced my fears for some reason or other, some times the overwalming feeling is a trigger to my past in understanding, that part i take to my counselor, we have to pick it apart for anylises. im glad to see the path less traveled has passer byers that acknowlage my existance. turning back will only make you start over. good luck!!!! the danger is fear.


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#43209 - 05/31/01 01:21 PM Re: about to throw the shit directly into the fan
sean2day Offline
Member

Registered: 03/13/01
Posts: 6
Loc: USA
Harry:

good for you! yes it is scary, it is like saying goodbye to the old you and growing. that is scary, but it sounds to me like you are tired of this shit and want to do something about it. that is so powerful!

i applaud your courage and support your new step toward healing. best to you.

sean2day


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