I'm sorry if situation with you and your husband is so difficult.
Maybe you could make post about your current issues in Family and Friends
part of the board, I'm sure people would spot it more easily there as this part of the forum is made for introduction and many could oversee it.
Good that you are taking care for self; it is not good that you are feeling lonely and without support, are there any friends available for talk?
It is very difficult to reclaim old life after couple of years living in shadow and kind of isolation, but you are not alone, we are here for you.
Talk with us, I hope you'll feel better!