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#431793 - 04/19/13 06:38 PM There are perks to being a Wallflower?
csasurvivor1992 Offline


Registered: 03/25/13
Posts: 132
Loc: Texas
I watched that movie last night. It was a deliberate decision even knowing how it would end. When it finally did end, I cried. My face bubbled up and I cried. I cried uncontrollably for a few moments.

The lasting image, the survivor's mother holding him tight, saying she was so sorry. The sight of her almost getting sick after hearing the news. Powerful. If only the people in my life had reacted like that.

And the issue, strikingly clear, I feel like it's my fault. But why? I know it's not. I know I didn't do anything wrong. I was abused by my father and that's not my fault. I was a kid, SIX YEARS OLD. Of course it's not my fault. Then why do I feel like it is? It hurts. It hurts so freaking bad.

It'd be nice to get a hug and some compassionate, affirming words from those closest to me. Just the thought makes me cry again.
_________________________
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.

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#431795 - 04/19/13 07:12 PM Re: There are perks to being a Wallflower? [Re: csasurvivor1992]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 11:02 PM)

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#431796 - 04/19/13 07:16 PM " [Re: csasurvivor1992]
lbcali1978 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/12
Posts: 217
"


Edited by lbcali1978 (04/29/13 12:30 AM)
_________________________
They said

Come home

I said

I'm confused and alone

They said

We understand

I found out they don't

I'll walk the path exactly how I've always done it

Alone

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#431849 - 04/20/13 10:50 AM Re: There are perks to being a Wallflower? [Re: csasurvivor1992]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Gonna' watch it this weekend... (don't tell anymore... shhhh)
.... and (((((((((((((C-Sur)))))))))))))))
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#440003 - 07/04/13 02:32 AM Re: There are perks to being a Wallflower? [Re: csasurvivor1992]
Luftraumm Offline


Registered: 01/06/13
Posts: 17
Loc: Brasil
watched it today

(C-Sur)
i'd rather hug you in reality, so put as much intensity into that one bracket up there as you imagine possible

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#440132 - 07/05/13 01:33 PM Re: There are perks to being a Wallflower? [Re: csasurvivor1992]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3303
Loc: back in the USA
i watched it on a plane recently - cried buckets. was glad others around me were sleeping. i actually envied the main character - he had friends and support and figured it out so much earlier than i did. and his family was there for him.

then i watched another movie that helped make me feel better - "The Odd Life of Timothy Green." it is a fantasy - sweet and sad too - but in a nice way. i cried over it, too, but it was healing tears. i recommend both.

lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#440214 - 07/06/13 11:53 AM Re: There are perks to being a Wallflower? [Re: csasurvivor1992]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
tried netflix stream.... not yet available
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#440216 - 07/06/13 12:19 PM Re: There are perks to being a Wallflower? [Re: csasurvivor1992]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 314
Loc: Iowa, USA
I read the book - for me, it's up there with "Catcher in the Rye" I identified with the protagonist, even before I knew the story involved CSA. He had several characteristics similar to mine and his way of thinking is similar to mine, and I thought he was just a cool kid. It was shocking to me at the end. I spent a lot of time thinking about the book after I had read it.

Dave

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#440330 - 07/07/13 09:57 PM Re: There are perks to being a Wallflower? [Re: traveler]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 588
Loc: VA
Originally Posted By: traveler
i actually envied the main character - he had friends and support and figured it out so much earlier than i did. and his family was there for him.

lee


I agree. That's the only element of the film I can't identify with. It's an excellent film, though--lead actors are amazing, and it features Pittsburgh! Lost count of the times I've crossed that bridge.

John

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#443768 - 08/08/13 05:24 PM Re: There are perks to being a Wallflower? [Re: csasurvivor1992]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 268
Loc: PA
I just watched this last weekend via Amazon (only $3.99). I saw a post in the movies forum, but not much activity there compared to this one. One of my kids saw it and because she knows about me she was a bit freaked out by the whole thing. The movie was a bit sneaky about hiding the big revelation at the end so many teens were excited to be seeing this movie. I wonder how many people would have watched it if they new what was going to be revealed? The daughter that did watch it wasn't too happy about having watched it. I think it gave her a better appreciation of my situation though.

I knew what it was about before I watched it and even in the first few spoken words where he's writing a letter I started to cry and cried a lot more in many other scenes. Powerful movie, but don't watch unless you feel really good about yourself and how you are doing. If you think you are capable of handling it then watch it. I loved. The most impactful movie for me growing up was Dead Poets Society (loved that movie), but I think this one is now the most impactful.

I paid for the movie again and my second daughter watched it last night (she knows too). I still have to ask her how she's doing today. When my wife went into her room and saw her crying while watching it. I warned her about it before hand and she still wanted to see it. I was impressed by that.

After watching the movie I thought everyone who hasn't been abused (or thought they've been abused) should have to see this movie as a requirement. It did such a good job of portraying the issues associated with CSA in a light that wouldn't offend most people. I wonder how many people watched it who haven't come to terms with their abuse and sought help? I wonder how many people will be more supportive of a CSA they know?
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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