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#430029 - 04/03/13 08:26 PM one of those days
traveler Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3196
Loc: back in the USA
One of those days

This is one of those days
when I am feeling very blue –
Why do they call it that?
I like blue: blue is
soft and restful, calm and peaceful.
I am disturbed by the clear sky and sunshine;
I expect them to abide by the pathetic fallacy,
to reflect me with brooding overcast,
to respect my somber mood.
This is one of those days
when I feel grey:
colorless, tired, joyless, sad, depressed,
stuck in a changeless fog,
old beyond my years.
This is one of those days
when I want to crawl into a hole
and pull the opening in after me;
when I feel like hiding from everyone;
when I want to “paint it black.”
This is one of those very grey days
when I want to go to sleep
without dreaming
for a long time
and never
wake
up.


lee
4/4/13


Edited by traveler (04/03/13 10:37 PM)
Edit Reason: add
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#430044 - 04/03/13 11:22 PM Re: one of those days [Re: traveler]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
Sorry you're feeling down (even though you expressed it in such an evocative and heartfelt manner). I hope tomorrow is better... and the day after that, and so on.

(((((Lee)))))
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#430054 - 04/04/13 03:34 AM Re: one of those days [Re: traveler]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3566
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Lee,
there are days when we are sad and not feeling good, but hopefully many times our mood is changeable like weather forecast, lol, so better days are coming I'm sure.


(((Lee)))
_________________________
My story

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#430229 - 04/05/13 02:45 PM Re: one of those days [Re: traveler]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 10:06 PM)

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#430371 - 04/06/13 07:51 PM Re: one of those days [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3196
Loc: back in the USA
thanks, men. you helped by responding. getting better now...

but i lied - it wasn't just "one" of those days. it was more like 3 or 4.

however - the up side of it is that it was a temporary relapse. i can see now that it was a re-play for a relatively short time of my old version of "normal" - what i lived with every day for years. and it is a reminder that i have improved or gotten stronger or made progress in recovery. the contrast of darkness makes the light all the brighter.

Lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

Top
#431761 - 04/19/13 01:24 PM Re: one of those days [Re: traveler]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 643
Loc: michigan
hey Lee
I think that we all can appreciate that place. I am glad you are coming back from there it is an ugly place that we never deserved. beautiful poem man. keep on writing
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#431776 - 04/19/13 03:57 PM Re: one of those days [Re: traveler]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Lee,

For what it's worth - I'll add to what others have said - a lot of us (if not all) go through those days sometimes.

Two days ago I wrote 'Defiance' - basically saying I'm here to stay.

In 3 hours I have an emergency session with my therapist - - - this has been "one of those days" more so than I think I've ever felt before.

Keep climbing my friend - you can make it!
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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