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#431717 - 04/18/13 11:52 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Lee,

Thinking of you... hurting for you... sending all the positive I can .... Angels everywhere...
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#431723 - 04/19/13 01:53 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Oh man, I'm so sorry you have to go through this! Add me to the ones who are thinking of you, hoping for a speedy and positive resolution to this!
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#432666 - 04/27/13 07:39 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3450
Loc: somewhere in Africa
time for an update.

nothing has been resolved. we don't know if the investigative team is talking to others or not - assuming so - since they asked for a list of people to contact as possible witnesses for my wife. we sill don't know the allegations or who is the accuser. it has been 13 days now since we were informed of the "concerns" and pending investigation.

it is driving us nuts!

on the plus side - there have been some wonderful demonstrations of support from friends - to the point that others are contacting the head inquisitor to speak on her behalf and he is now reprimanding us for talking about the case and breaking confidentiality! after he spread the announcement of unsubstantiated charges and the name of the suspect to a couple hundred people!!!! we don't KNOW enough yet to reveal anything that is confidential.

lots of extreme mood swings. hard to carry on as expected.

one of the hardest things for me is feeling so torn by conflicting sympathies -

i am passionately against child abuse of any kind and want every possible case to be vigorously pursued and consequences to be swift and sure.

but - this is so patently false and the accused's rights are being so blatantly violated that it is absurd - feels like Kafka's The Trial.

i crawl back here whenever i can to get grounding and comfort.
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#432667 - 04/27/13 08:40 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 770
Loc: michigan
sorry you are having to deal with this man it is terribly unfair and accusations do sooo much damage. I hope and pray that it gets cleared up soon and you are able to have you good names back. I know what pain an accusation brings to us especially man stay strong.
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#432676 - 04/27/13 10:23 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1561
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: traveler
....and he is now reprimanding us for talking about the case and breaking confidentiality! after he spread the announcement of unsubstantiated charges and the name of the suspect to a couple hundred people!!!! we don't KNOW enough yet to reveal anything that is confidential......this is so patently false and the accused's rights are being so blatantly violated that it is absurd....

Hey Traveler,

So sorry this continues to drag you down. The way you describe how you're being dealt with makes me think that maybe its time to lawyer up. At least to find out what your legal rights are in that country, and if they are being violated. I'm sure you'll both be vindicated, but in the meantime you don't have to passively take this crap!

Jude
_________________________
Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine.
Sheryl Crow

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#432682 - 04/27/13 11:05 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1714
Lee

Take care of yourself and your wife. This has to be so difficult for both of you. Take time for yourself, you have healed well and remember you need to take care of yourself so you can help your wife.

Thoughts are with both of you.

Kevin

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#432709 - 04/28/13 07:39 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3450
Loc: somewhere in Africa
thanks, Jude & Kevin.

we have gotten in touch with a couple of more powerful people who may be able to do some intervention. we have also submitted a list of querstions thst we want answered before we will consent to be interviewed. we are also making sure we know the appeals process up front. and we are insisting on having an observer/witness/supporter present in any interview. our T is willing to do this. and we have an advocate who is willing to fly from the U.S. if the next step doesn't look like it is going well. (i've been writing LOTS of emails!) the investigator doesn't like any of these tactics so we are feeling a little better - like we are taking some of the power back.

Jude - i don't think the lawyer would work for a number of reasons. too complicated to explain without giving too much away.

Kevin - yes - both my wife and T have said that a year ago i would not have been able to handle this as well as i am now. one side-benefit - i am starting to look like a knight on a white horse to my wife - where before she was my rescuer.

so - though it is miserable - i am not back to square one.
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#432710 - 04/28/13 08:21 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Two weeks of this crap Lee? Having been the plaintiff on a completely dissimilar case a couple years ago and knowing the stress it put me though, I can only start imagine how you and your wife feel.

Yeah, I would have gone with Jude's suggestion, but I'm not privy to all the ins and outs of your situation. I probably would have added a PI. Nor do I know if civil action is possible in that country against the accuser ex post facto...sometimes just the impression is enuf to make the accuser back down, let alone the school ("You do realize, when this is done, we're going to switch tables, we'll sue your nasty ass and you'll lose"). Short of that, having done your own homework (unintentional pun), it sounds like you're indeed taking some of your own power back.

Man, if it's not one thing it's another with this school.

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#432716 - 04/28/13 09:12 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1133
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: traveler
(i've been writing LOTS of emails!) the investigator doesn't like any of these tactics so we are feeling a little better - like we are taking some of the power back.


Well in a case like this, if the investigator doesn't like what you are doing then you must be doing something right. Keep at it! I don't know what to suggest that others haven't already but keep fighting and good luck. Peace,

Ken

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#432823 - 04/29/13 07:37 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3611
Loc: South-East Europe
Originally Posted By: traveler
i am starting to look like a knight on a white horse to my wife - where before she was my rescuer.

This needs to be remembered.
You were knight Lee for long time already it is just that some difficult situation is bringing that out now wink !

I'm glad to hear that you are fighting so heavily and that you are taking into account all available resources.
I'm praying for best outcome!

Pero
_________________________
My story

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