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#431649 - 04/18/13 09:26 AM defiance
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
fearful, abandoned, lost, alone
   yesterday’s feelings still echo loudly
       down the halls of my memory
   emotions affixed to a point in time
so long ago
   and yet
      so recent

the fear is gone
   replaced by anger and wrath
       fury’s fire forever flaming forward

no longer abandoned
   reclaimed by self
      the adult shell that covers the hiding place of the child

still lost, though no longer hopeless
I’ve learned to plot my course
   on a day-by-day
      sometimes step-by-step
   basis

and now surrounded
   by so many peers
   no longer alone

yet the loneliness is greater now
   than ever before
and most likely
   less than it will be
      tomorrow

no longer speechless
   or lost in situations for which no words
      can exist
         for such a young heart
I now have a voice
   and I speak out the past
each word a driven nail
   piercing the root
      of the old shadows

the greatest change being age
   the irresistible force that molds me
      twists and tears
   until I more resemble the perpetrator
      than the victim

and yet it is change

and though I may weep
   as I claw through the rubble
      of my youth
   and through the ashes

         not quite a phoenix

I do arise

and
   I
      will
         continue


_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#431743 - 04/19/13 08:47 AM Re: defiance [Re: MarkK]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3614
Loc: South-East Europe
Beautiful!!!
_________________________
My story

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#432117 - 04/22/13 10:09 PM Re: defiance [Re: MarkK]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
oh yes - pain is always so lovely
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#432147 - 04/23/13 10:08 AM Re: defiance [Re: MarkK]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 775
Loc: michigan
mark , our words have power and you have shown that power here. you write from pain yes but the words are iodine to a wound. they sting and even remind us of how much more pain there has been. but they also help to heal
be well
Jeff
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#432541 - 04/26/13 04:50 PM Re: defiance [Re: MarkK]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
heal ...
uh huh
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#432849 - 04/29/13 11:34 AM Re: defiance [Re: MarkK]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 11:09 PM)

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#432946 - 04/29/13 10:10 PM Re: defiance [Re: MarkK]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
I write it to get it out of my soul
shouldn't it help? shouldn't the pain get less instead of more?
what is wrong with me!?!?!?!
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

Top
#433001 - 04/30/13 08:35 AM Re: defiance [Re: MarkK]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 775
Loc: michigan
If you find out Markk please let me know we are so similar maybe it would apply. I am not sure why it doesn't seem to improve sometimes. but at other times it feels like maybe, just maybe there is hope. those are the times I long for. just keep writing man it is the best vent we have.
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

Top
#433003 - 04/30/13 08:35 AM Re: defiance [Re: MarkK]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 775
Loc: michigan
If you find out Markk please let me know we are so similar maybe it would apply. I am not sure why it doesn't seem to improve sometimes. but at other times it feels like maybe, just maybe there is hope. those are the times I long for. just keep writing man it is the best vent we have.
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

Top


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