Newest Members
Collin, MG5555, ShinTensei, jaklumen, Bennett
12507 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Moriji (44), Nicos (48), weharry1959 (55)
Who's Online
5 registered (Don Laufersweiler, CCDC, LPC, lapchinj, 3 invisible), 14 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12507 Members
73 Forums
64177 Topics
448022 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#191242 - 11/13/07 01:43 AM Re: My Dad Thinks I Am A Fag *DELETED* [Re: River]
krayoss Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/18/01
Posts: 112
Loc: west
Post deleted by krayoss


Top
#191267 - 11/13/07 09:42 AM Re: My Dad Thinks I Am A Fag [Re: krayoss]
River Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/23/07
Posts: 114
Loc: Nashville,Tennessee
It is truly a grieving process. A huge loss for little boys who needed nurture and affirmation during some horrendous times in our lives.

Just when I think I have done "enough" therapy work around my dad... it comes back up. And that's okay. I am convinced that it is a lifetime of work. :>)

Peace

_________________________
GD

Top
#191268 - 11/13/07 09:44 AM Re: My Dad Thinks I Am A Fag [Re: krayoss]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6607
Loc: FEMA Region 1
River,

You are clearly an awsome Dad! The kind we would all love to have had.

My father is a lot like yours. He just does not "get" the hows and whys of my relationship with my kids. When I told him I was building a big treehouse with them, he looked at me like I was fully nuts (I am).

One VERY interesting thing and is quite revealing about my childhood is that my father recoils in horror if we commend my extremely-bright son on his intelligence and academic prowess. I mean this kid is SMART!!! My father says things like "dont tell him that"..."don't let him know he's bright"..."its VERY important that he not get a big head." Yeah Dad...he's bright but not bright enough to know he's bright????? He does know he's in the accellerated program at school. He does know he's doing algebra when other kids are larning to add.

It explains a lot.

_________________________
Hell needs firewood too ya know!

Top
#191270 - 11/13/07 10:58 AM Re: My Dad Thinks I Am A Fag [Re: Still]
River Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/23/07
Posts: 114
Loc: Nashville,Tennessee
Robbie,

Thanks. You also are clearly an awesome dad!!! And you also appear to be nuts about your kids. I wonder what it would have been like to have a dad who was nuts about me? Sigh. However, maybe our passion for our children is is something good that has come out of our own broken relationships with our fathers. Sigh.

Of course our kids need to know they are bright and gifted! If they don't know their gifts, their strengths then how can we as parents and teachers develop and empower them to use there talents and gifts. Wow! I don't want my kids to grow up not having confidene in themself.

And yeah, it sounds a lot like that old coach mentality and it does explain a lot.

Glynn

and Jesus loves the hell out of me too!!!

_________________________
GD

Top
#191294 - 11/13/07 02:35 PM Re: My Dad Thinks I Am A Fag [Re: River]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6607
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Originally Posted By: River
... maybe our passion for our children is something good that has come out of our own broken relationships with our fathers.


Man...if we can spin this type of positive stuff out of such negative stuff...wow!! Though I have not figured out what the CSA has done for me positively except to raise safer kids.

_________________________
Hell needs firewood too ya know!

Top
#191362 - 11/14/07 12:44 AM Re: My Dad Thinks I Am A Fag [Re: theatrekid]
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
River, Sounds wonderful...the things you're doing with your son. I remember when my son was born. All I wanted to do was make him feel loved. Nothing else mattered. Every chance I got, I told him I loved him. Now he's grown, and that's one thing he'll never have to wonder about. I've probably made some other really good mistakes with him, but that's not one of them. It was easy for me. My son is almost a genetic clone (that's a good thing in some ways and something he'll have to forgive me for in others). I'm a choir director and he was in my choir.....I was a drama major, and that's where he chose to hang his hat in high school. We have the same sense of humor and think we're extremely funny. When we get on a good roll, we really crack us up. He's 32 now and I really enjoy him a lot. My dad died when I was 22, so I never got a chance to know him as a mature man. I would like to have gotten to know him better. So many things I will never be able to understand. It's so great that you're doing all those things with your son. When I see a father having fun with or just interacting with his son, sons or any of his children, I always want to go up to him and tell him how important it is and how much I wish my dad had done that with me. I don't, of course, because he'd probably think I was some kind of nut. But, sometimes, it's hard not to.

Bobby

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




Top
#191495 - 11/15/07 11:32 AM Re: My Dad Thinks I Am A Fag [Re: Bobby]
River Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/23/07
Posts: 114
Loc: Nashville,Tennessee
Bobby, the way you describe your relationship with your son is just beautiful. It is neat to hear dad's with grown sons talk about how much they enjoy their grown sons. It is going to be neat to see how my kids turn out and to some day relate to them as adults, God willing.

_________________________
GD

Top
#191497 - 11/15/07 11:39 AM Re: My Dad Thinks I Am A Fag [Re: River]
River Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/23/07
Posts: 114
Loc: Nashville,Tennessee
You know, I have talked about my son a lot.... But I also have a beautiful daughter (17yo). I am getting to bless her as a young woman. It has been bittersweet watching her grow up. I was the only one she would allow to "bounce" her to sleep when she was a baby. I was the one who did her hair up in cute little pony tails every morning. God, I really miss those days! BUT, I still give her that daddy hug every day and tell her I love her. Surprisingly, she has not shut us out like many teenagers do with their parents and continues talks to us about her friends and her "boyfriend(s)" and I consider that a great honor... and I get to support, affirm, cry and laugh with her ... and tease her a bit... about some of her stuff. Anyway, I am rambling.. only to say... father and daughter relationships are JUST AS IMPORTANT. I have learned from my own broken relationship with my dad, just how important it is to nurture, affirm, support and bless my children. That is the one good thing that has come out of my childhood pain.



Edited by River (11/15/07 11:42 AM)
_________________________
GD

Top
#191524 - 11/15/07 05:10 PM Re: My Dad Thinks I Am A Fag [Re: River]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
This post is really awesome to me. I also have 2 kids, a boy and a girl. They know that their dad is going through much anxiety and hurt from past experiences, but I have not got the nerve yet to tell them what happened to me. I know it hurts them so much to see me this way, I just can't tell them at this time. They know my perp. very well, my bro, their uncle. I know it is gonna be so hard on them. But then I am sure this too is hard, knowing I am hurting and they don't know why. Hope and pray some time soon I will be able to tell them. Just don't wanna do it wrong. Guess I need to work and try to cope with my csa before I can tell my wonderful kids. I love them to death and just can't bear to see them hurting either.
Thanks for letting me ramble on.

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

Top
#431613 - 04/17/13 10:42 PM Re: My Dad Thinks I Am A Fag [Re: River]
douglaswil Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/12
Posts: 35
Loc: Russellville, AR
Originally Posted By: River
...I would NOT wear those stupid looking uniforms with those stupid looking socks..... LOL... a year later... I had the uniform!!! I still refuse to wear those socks!


BAHAHAHA The socks!
_________________________
Doug
www.dugslife.com
I am DOUG, not Egbert!

Top
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.