Welcome to MS.
I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.
Everything you say or do here is at your own pace; no pressure, no obligations.
At one time choice was taken from you. Here, everything you do is your choice.
You do not say whether or not you are in therapy. Therapy is invaluable when it comes to dealing with and getting through this trauma.
Take your time and look around. You do not want to trigger yourself by reading too many posts at one time.
At your own pace, read the boards and wander into chat. The lounge (chat) is open 24 hours a day though it isn't always populated.
We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles.
They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone) which translates to 2 PM Eastern US time zone. The Healing Circle on Tuesdays is scheduled to resume in September.
Again, welcome to MS.