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#431554 - 04/17/13 09:07 AM my worst nightmare - almost
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3363
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Having a rough time right now.

My wife and I are both teachers. Yesterday we were summoned to the principal’s office. The guy who is in charge of investigating child abuse was waiting there. I immediately started to panic. i was afraid it was my worst nightmare - that i was being suspected of perpetrating CSA - that someone had found out about my history and assumed that the myth is true that “all s*x abuse victims become abusers.”

BUT – it was my wife that was being accused. She was put on leave and sent home until they investigate. We were not allowed to know who had brought the charges or what they said she had done. We speculate that is is a parent or colleague that has a grudge of some kind.

Of course, it is absolutely false. I would know – if anyone would – if I were living with a child abuser. We were told not to discuss it with anyone – that it was all highly confidential. But the principal announced it at a staff meeting and sent a letter to all parents. We are both feeling devastated, frustrated, hurt, angry, helpless and hopeless – ABUSED – in a word.

it wasn't my worst nightmare - but it was the next thing to it.

very disillusioned and ready to give up.
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#431555 - 04/17/13 09:24 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
That is HORRIBLE, Lee! The parents were told of her name before an investigation was conducted? I'd lawyer up if I were you. If you're ready to quit, sue them for slander and defamation and dare them to fire you.

I'm so so sorry, and am sending the both of you strength to get through this.

Matt
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#431556 - 04/17/13 09:29 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1039
Lee,

Don't forget to breathe when you're feeling triggered. You will fight this and beat this. And we have your back.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#431564 - 04/17/13 11:22 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Lee,

This is horrendous. And I am beyond belief that the principal would make an announcement in a faculty meeting AND send a letter to parents BEFORE the investigation !!! Just incredible. And how can your wife defend herself if she knows not the details?

Lawyer up. Near the end of my career, a dear friend, also female, was accused of abuse in the classroom in my school. The parent carried forth the word into the community and even to the state dept of ed. The investigation proved complete fabrication and innocence. The teacher and her husband sued for defamation and slander AND she won... You guys put the school and the principal and the accuser on notice that they have made a wrong decision in making their public and professional announcements and accusations.

Like Cant says, breathe deeply when the negative thoughts come. And for both your wife and yourself, fight this accusation with everything you have. Do not let them take control of the world you have worked so hard to build.

b
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#431565 - 04/17/13 11:26 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 324
Loc: Iowa, USA
Lee,
This is an awful situation. Please take care of yourself. The truth will be revealed and all will be good. I will think and pray for you. All will be good.

DavO

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#431570 - 04/17/13 01:08 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
toysoldier Offline


Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 476
Loc: Texas
Keep the faith Lee,trust in the Lord and this shall also pass.

no Weapon formed against You will prosper. Isaiah 54:17
_________________________
I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders..

Bit by bit Torn apart We never win But the battle wages on
For toy soldiers!

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#431577 - 04/17/13 03:53 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: toysoldier]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 838
Loc: Kc,Mo
BE STILL & KNOW THAT HE IS GOD
We mist Get past the cliché and live it out
_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
TRIGGER WARNING
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
WRITTEN FORM
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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#431586 - 04/17/13 06:28 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
LazyPirate Offline


Registered: 01/03/13
Posts: 106
Loc: Ontario
Unbelievable.
_________________________
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

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#431597 - 04/17/13 08:09 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3363
Loc: somewhere in Africa
thank you all.

i have very mixed feelings about this. i believe it is necessary and laudable to protect children and to strongly pursue any allegations of abuse. i am glad they are vigilant in that respect. BUT - it seems that in the process - the accused person's rights are nonexistant - at least in this case - and the supposed perp becomes a victim.

we work in an international school - outside the U.S. the same laws and prtotections do not apply here. i don't know what our rights are, in fact - but it may not be possible to sue anyone. we are trying to appeal to our organization - which contracts with this independent school to provide teachers - to see what support and counsel they can offer.

still reeling,
lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#431599 - 04/17/13 09:21 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
If its a country formerly owned by England, you shoukd see if they still have England's super-duper libel laws, which would be on your side in this case.
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#431602 - 04/17/13 09:32 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 703
Loc: Southeast USA
Lee,

I'm so sorry this happened. Two of my down-to-the-core fears are child abuse and false accusations. It's a volatile witches' brew for sure. I'm sending all the hope I can---that your wife is given due consideration and that the truth is discovered quickly with minimal collateral damage.

Will


Edited by Suwanee (04/17/13 09:34 PM)
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

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#431608 - 04/17/13 10:22 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1305
I hope that when your wife is cleared of these charges, you get an opportunity to address this with her accusers as a survivor, and make it clear that the reactionary "witch hunt" hysteria grows from ignorance - and that just further jeopardizes efforts to help those truly in need.

You'll certainly have my back if you do.
_________________________



Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#431609 - 04/17/13 10:26 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1096
Loc: The ATL
Hi Lee. This is terrible! I don't know what to say. I can think of few things in life that would be more frightening than false allegations of child abuse. Like you, I believe in doing whatever it takes to protect children but I also realize that in today's society, CSA is one of those things that once you are accused, you are essentially guilty until proven innocent. Especially in the court of public opinion.

This is going to sound like a terrible thing to say and I probably shouldn't even go here but......

If I were in you and your wife's shoes, and I were falsely accused of a crime in a foreign country , (be it CSA or anything else for that matter), and I thought I could get back to the US quickly without the possibility of being extradited back.... I would get the fuck out!!!!

"But then you look guilty", some might say.

I wouldn't give a shit. If I knew I could, I'd get the fuck out. I don't know where you are in the world, or if that's possible, or if you'd wind up being extradited back and then be in a lot more trouble. I do know that I've heard more than one horror story about falsely accused people winding up in foreign prisons though. I'm sorry for saying that and maybe it was inappropriate for me to even bring it up but I felt it had to be said. Sorry.

You and your wife are in my thoughts. I'm wishing you the best and keeping my fingers tightly crossed for you both. Good luck. Take care. Peace,

Ken.

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#431662 - 04/18/13 11:57 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3363
Loc: somewhere in Africa
why is it - ?
i can steel myself against harsh treatment and endure it without flinching.
but unexpected kindness dissolves me into a teary, sob-choked invertebrate.
it is so good to have you all with me.
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#431670 - 04/18/13 01:06 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Hang on Lee,
you and your wife are not alone, you have many friends here and I'm sure we will have you in our thoughts and prays.
Please let us know for updates, I'm sure everything will be alright.

Pero
_________________________
My story

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#431671 - 04/18/13 02:03 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Dammit Lee. I am speechless. I'm furious at the accusation and the manner in which this is being "handled". Ex post facto, I don't know what legal options you have but, as others have mentioned, I hope you pony up. If anything, I'm glad that you, of all people, are the one to be there for your wife.

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#431672 - 04/18/13 02:13 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1618
Lee

I am sorry to hear of your troubles. How horrific to live through this after you as a child had to live through CSA. I can only imagine the horror your wife is experiencing but she has you there for support. Hopefully the investigation is quick so you and your wife can move on. It is sad, false accusations can ruin a life. Thoughts are with you and your wife for a speedy resolution.

Kevin

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#431696 - 04/18/13 09:08 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 285
Loc: MO
Dear Traveler,

I am certain that your wife has been falsely accused. She was violated when the accusation was made public. I would agree with Brave Falcon, but then I am paranoid.

When I was 20, I was running tutorial program with 300 kids. I was accused of molesting two children, by two girls who were receiving tutoring. After the police investigation, the children recanted. The police told me they were angry because they lost their tutor, and wanted to hurt me for not preventing that.

My daughter was molested when she was in high school. She attended a christian camp for a week and on the bus, on the way home, her counselor, who was also a teacher and coach at her high school. She did not want her experience made public. I made her talk to the schools' lawyer, who concluded it was her word against his. But then, at least, he was moved to another school.

I could not do more without exposing my daughter to more publicity. Which she did not want. I still feel guilty 20 years later of caring more for my daughter than the other kids who would be molested.

I really wish this was as bad as my story gets, but it was two of the bigger shit storms I have had to live through.

I hope you find this a demonstration that we live through it. Not just an opportunity to tell you my troubles.

May the Lord Bless you and keep you - and your wife.

We all have different stories but we all are the same.

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#431700 - 04/18/13 09:37 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3363
Loc: somewhere in Africa
thank you all for your support and kind words and advice and even the outrage on our behalf.

my wife is the epitome of an extrovert. she has lots of friends and they have been rallying around. that is very encouraging. we have heard several say that they are sending unsolicited letters of support to the investigative team - some are fellow teachers. some are parents of present and past students. some are community members who are objective observers. that is helping.

I - on the the other hand - am an extreme introvert - not to mention being distrustful and paranoid! I don't really have friends here. and most of those who are acquaintances don't seem to realize how devastating this is to me, too. a couple have included me in their good wishes for a just outcome. but I have you all. I read and re-read your messages and it helps so much.

a few points to clarify:

she was not accused of CSA but of something that could be construed as physical or emotional abuse. that is all we know at the moment. it was worded that there have been "several concerns" - so we do not know if several people accused her or if one accused her of several instances. it is maddening to be kept in the dark.

the case has not been reported to the government or law enforcement (so she is not in danger in that respect) - but to the admin of this independent school - and to our organization that contracts to supply teachers to it. so the investigation is all "internal" - with a rep from our org, one from the school - and an outsider to provide objectivity. our first impulse was for both of us to resign and leave immediately - but we are hopeful of a positive and truthful and just resolution - to have her vindicated and her name and reputation cleared and restored. and we already have purchased tickets and made hotel reservations for a pretty lengthy and intricate trip - to travel back to the U.S. after the school year is ended - visiting friends and seeing sights in several countries.

so I keep on going to school and teaching my kids. we have an art show coming up and a play to rehearse and perform - as well as important university entrance qualifying exams nearly upon us. it is hard to carry on but it is not their fault and they shouldn't suffer and I can't let them down.

thanks again,
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#431709 - 04/18/13 11:14 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1096
Loc: The ATL

Hi Lee. Thanks for the clarification. You and your wife are braver than I am. Good luck. Peace,

Ken

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#431717 - 04/18/13 11:52 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Lee,

Thinking of you... hurting for you... sending all the positive I can .... Angels everywhere...
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#431723 - 04/19/13 01:53 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Oh man, I'm so sorry you have to go through this! Add me to the ones who are thinking of you, hoping for a speedy and positive resolution to this!
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#432666 - 04/27/13 07:39 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3363
Loc: somewhere in Africa
time for an update.

nothing has been resolved. we don't know if the investigative team is talking to others or not - assuming so - since they asked for a list of people to contact as possible witnesses for my wife. we sill don't know the allegations or who is the accuser. it has been 13 days now since we were informed of the "concerns" and pending investigation.

it is driving us nuts!

on the plus side - there have been some wonderful demonstrations of support from friends - to the point that others are contacting the head inquisitor to speak on her behalf and he is now reprimanding us for talking about the case and breaking confidentiality! after he spread the announcement of unsubstantiated charges and the name of the suspect to a couple hundred people!!!! we don't KNOW enough yet to reveal anything that is confidential.

lots of extreme mood swings. hard to carry on as expected.

one of the hardest things for me is feeling so torn by conflicting sympathies -

i am passionately against child abuse of any kind and want every possible case to be vigorously pursued and consequences to be swift and sure.

but - this is so patently false and the accused's rights are being so blatantly violated that it is absurd - feels like Kafka's The Trial.

i crawl back here whenever i can to get grounding and comfort.
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#432667 - 04/27/13 08:40 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 751
Loc: michigan
sorry you are having to deal with this man it is terribly unfair and accusations do sooo much damage. I hope and pray that it gets cleared up soon and you are able to have you good names back. I know what pain an accusation brings to us especially man stay strong.
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#432676 - 04/27/13 10:23 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1509
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: traveler
....and he is now reprimanding us for talking about the case and breaking confidentiality! after he spread the announcement of unsubstantiated charges and the name of the suspect to a couple hundred people!!!! we don't KNOW enough yet to reveal anything that is confidential......this is so patently false and the accused's rights are being so blatantly violated that it is absurd....

Hey Traveler,

So sorry this continues to drag you down. The way you describe how you're being dealt with makes me think that maybe its time to lawyer up. At least to find out what your legal rights are in that country, and if they are being violated. I'm sure you'll both be vindicated, but in the meantime you don't have to passively take this crap!

Jude
_________________________
"I get up, and nothing gets me down.
You got it tough. I've seen the toughest around.
And I know, baby, just how you feel.
You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real"
Van Halen

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#432682 - 04/27/13 11:05 PM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1618
Lee

Take care of yourself and your wife. This has to be so difficult for both of you. Take time for yourself, you have healed well and remember you need to take care of yourself so you can help your wife.

Thoughts are with both of you.

Kevin

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#432709 - 04/28/13 07:39 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3363
Loc: somewhere in Africa
thanks, Jude & Kevin.

we have gotten in touch with a couple of more powerful people who may be able to do some intervention. we have also submitted a list of querstions thst we want answered before we will consent to be interviewed. we are also making sure we know the appeals process up front. and we are insisting on having an observer/witness/supporter present in any interview. our T is willing to do this. and we have an advocate who is willing to fly from the U.S. if the next step doesn't look like it is going well. (i've been writing LOTS of emails!) the investigator doesn't like any of these tactics so we are feeling a little better - like we are taking some of the power back.

Jude - i don't think the lawyer would work for a number of reasons. too complicated to explain without giving too much away.

Kevin - yes - both my wife and T have said that a year ago i would not have been able to handle this as well as i am now. one side-benefit - i am starting to look like a knight on a white horse to my wife - where before she was my rescuer.

so - though it is miserable - i am not back to square one.
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#432710 - 04/28/13 08:21 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Two weeks of this crap Lee? Having been the plaintiff on a completely dissimilar case a couple years ago and knowing the stress it put me though, I can only start imagine how you and your wife feel.

Yeah, I would have gone with Jude's suggestion, but I'm not privy to all the ins and outs of your situation. I probably would have added a PI. Nor do I know if civil action is possible in that country against the accuser ex post facto...sometimes just the impression is enuf to make the accuser back down, let alone the school ("You do realize, when this is done, we're going to switch tables, we'll sue your nasty ass and you'll lose"). Short of that, having done your own homework (unintentional pun), it sounds like you're indeed taking some of your own power back.

Man, if it's not one thing it's another with this school.

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#432716 - 04/28/13 09:12 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1096
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: traveler
(i've been writing LOTS of emails!) the investigator doesn't like any of these tactics so we are feeling a little better - like we are taking some of the power back.


Well in a case like this, if the investigator doesn't like what you are doing then you must be doing something right. Keep at it! I don't know what to suggest that others haven't already but keep fighting and good luck. Peace,

Ken

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#432823 - 04/29/13 07:37 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Originally Posted By: traveler
i am starting to look like a knight on a white horse to my wife - where before she was my rescuer.

This needs to be remembered.
You were knight Lee for long time already it is just that some difficult situation is bringing that out now wink !

I'm glad to hear that you are fighting so heavily and that you are taking into account all available resources.
I'm praying for best outcome!

Pero
_________________________
My story

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#432831 - 04/29/13 08:59 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 11:07 PM)

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#432967 - 04/30/13 01:31 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3363
Loc: somewhere in Africa
we just got the word - 23 1/2 hours from now i will be in the interview - followed immediately by my wife.

both feeling extremely stressed and anxious.
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#432969 - 04/30/13 02:31 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Hang on Lee, you have nothing to be scared of, you and your wife did nothing wrong neither have to hide something.
Please look how to calm down, everything will be alright!

(((Lee)))
_________________________
My story

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#433227 - 05/02/13 12:07 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3363
Loc: somewhere in Africa
The investigation is over – we had our interrogations yesterday. We had to sign an agreement not to discuss it until the findings are released – that was the leverage they used as a counter to our insistence that we would not submit to questioning unless a witness was present. It could be another week or two or more before we know the “verdict.”

The interrogation was very triggering – feelings of utter vulnerability and helplessness and being powerless – totally under the control of someone that was dangerous and unfeeling and had our fate in his hands (actually – a team of 4 – but one dominant leader).

We don’t know how it went. We do have a better idea of what events the allegations must have stemmed from and who the accusers are – from the questions that were asked - though they never did spell it out or give names. All of the undefined “abuses” fall so far short of that definition that it is absurd – but are being treated as if they are federal crimes. Just spiteful, vindictive vengeance against someone trying to do what was right and uphold the school’s rules and principles.

Going through a very low time right now. Disappointment and disillusionment. Someone once told me that disillusionment is good – because illusions are lies – and you shouldn’t depend on or believe in or trust lies. Get rid of them – reject them – discard them. The truth is your best friend. So – the truth is that there are few people who can be trusted. And the system is corrupt –even if it looks good on paper. And the people who say “trust me” are the last ones you should believe or obey. And nearly everyone is out for their own interests – not justice or right or others’ welfare.

It looks really dark right now – but I guess there is another way to look at it. It feels like we have lost so much – but we could also say that we have been freed from some unreliable and false things. The future is unknown and frightening – but it could also be a great and exciting adventure. We already know that we will leave and not return – regardless of the outcome of the inquiry. I am trying to think that the possibilities are unlimited – but I still feel scared.

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#433240 - 05/02/13 03:39 AM Re: my worst nightmare - almost [Re: traveler]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Oh Lee, I'm a little bit sad by such outcome (you leaving no matter on result of interrogation). You have had some terrible egoistic person against you there and maybe it would be healthier to exclude it from your future.

There are many good points in your words although it might sound dark and negative but I agree completely - there is no justice frown

Have you thought on writing sort of "confrontation" letter to main people in charge who are responsible for all that madness there? I don't mean to send such letter but to write it for your own good, to acknowledge to self that you have will and power to move on from it and that you don't wanna wish to have anything with such spoiled and "false" system. It could have sort of braking up message as you've already decided to leave.
It could be good for healing from all stress you have got by such process.

Please don't be scared, you are not alone and if I can help you in anyway let me know!!!

(((Lee)))

_________________________
My story

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