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#431491 - 04/16/13 09:47 PM It's finally time to tell my parents
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 690
Loc: Southeast USA
A while back I set a somewhat arbitrary date to tell my parents---April 20.

Well, that day is almost here. I offered to help my dad repair some of his lawn sprinklers this weekend. My wife is taking the kids to a cousin's birthday party on her side of the family. It's lining up to be a perfect opportunity to spend some time over at my parents' house without family distractions. My T and I have gone over this...I'm keeping the discussion brief and with only as much detail as necessary. I'm expecting disbelief, shock, anger et.al. from them in a short period of time. I'm also prepared to outline the progress I have made to date.

I have to say that I am scared...but not as much as I thought I would be. I almost wish I could just get it over with---but I'm going to hold to the April 20 date just because I don't want to get into this discussion after work during the week when everybody is exhausted.

Will
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

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#431492 - 04/16/13 10:00 PM Re: It's finally time to tell my parents [Re: Suwanee]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3319
Loc: back in the USA
Will - i wish you all the best.
my prayers are with you.
Lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#431493 - 04/16/13 10:03 PM Re: It's finally time to tell my parents [Re: Suwanee]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1283
Be prepared for anything, my friend. In fact, be prepared for the fact there is truly no way to be prepared.

When I told my mom, I ended up consoling her - a reversal of roles I never forsaw.
_________________________



Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#431498 - 04/16/13 10:45 PM Re: It's finally time to tell my parents [Re: Suwanee]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
Will,

You've been gearing up for this for months (in addition to the 27 years).

It's the right thing to do and I know you can do it. Go in prepared with examples of how they helped you, times when you knew you could count on them, ie your "get out of trouble free" card. They will blame themselves and that's not your prime concern, but reassuring them they did good overall through the years will help them keep together and concentrate.

Getting the biggest secret out feels really good. Draining though - don't firmly commit to anything later that evening.


Matt
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#431503 - 04/16/13 10:59 PM Re: It's finally time to tell my parents [Re: Suwanee]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 690
Loc: Southeast USA
Thanks everyone.
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

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#431504 - 04/16/13 11:15 PM Re: It's finally time to tell my parents [Re: Suwanee]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 315
Loc: Iowa, USA
Will
I hope it goes well for you and that your parents are understanding and supportive. It is a great thing when your parents are aware of the truth and can assist in your healing. Again, good luck
DavO

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#431505 - 04/16/13 11:16 PM Re: It's finally time to tell my parents [Re: Suwanee]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1039

Will,

You're one of the strongest among us, and your father has already demonstrated that he's ready to hear it.

Just remember to breathe, and tell it slow.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#431532 - 04/17/13 05:07 AM Re: It's finally time to tell my parents [Re: Suwanee]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Will -- 110% behind you. I can't add anything to the great suggestions from Chase and Soccer except my best wishes.

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#431537 - 04/17/13 05:46 AM Re: It's finally time to tell my parents [Re: Suwanee]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Will --150% behind you. The only thing I have to add is that this is inspirational stuff.

The way I see it our secrets are like poison and the only way to truly heal is to get the poison out. That is what you are doing.

You've done the prep work. You are ready as you will ever be.

I will be nothing short of shocked if this is not an utterly healing process for you.

Lee
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#431615 - 04/17/13 11:06 PM Re: It's finally time to tell my parents [Re: Suwanee]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1089
Loc: The ATL

Hi Will. Good for you man! I hope it goes well, or at least as well as can be expected anyway. Telling my mom was one of the hardest and most uncomfortable things I've ever had to do. I could only do it in front of my T. That said, I know what you must be going through right now. I wonder how you're going to go about bringing it up. Do you have a plan for that? Have you kind of scripted anything or are you just going to wing it? You don't have to answer that. I'm certain we'll all find out soon enough but please do keep us posted. Good luck man! Peace,

Ken

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