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#431085 - 04/13/13 09:24 AM gambling and smoking
bass drummer Offline


Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 27
Loc: new zealand
Im not to sure if this is the right place for this but i need a bit of help.

I have a bit of a problem with gambling on pokies and slots its getting that bad now i want to stop but i am having trouble because it is one of the only things that i have found that makes me feel better about the CSA but when i run out of money and walk home i feel real shit because i have got no money for food and sometimes no money to even pay rent.

My goal in the next few months is to buy a house but if i keep this up there is no way in hell i can do it. Dose anybody out there have any pointers for me that maybe have had the same problem as me or works to help people like me.

The other problem i have is smoking i have been smoking for 12years and i am only 23 for fuck sake i need to give that up too as it costs way to much money and its very hard to give up with out support.

At this stage i am in real need of some support by those that have been there and have given these things up.

Thanks in advance
BASS
_________________________
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to live again

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#431086 - 04/13/13 09:37 AM Re: gambling and smoking [Re: bass drummer]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 611
Hey Bass Drummer,

I jumped on this immediately when I saw it because those two things are my biggest vices. I'm still smoking but I've quit gambling for a while now, so I'll try to give you some pointers. There are two things that really helped. First, BAR yourself from all casinos. There are self-exclusion forms that you can sign at almost any casino or any venue that encourages gambling, so you should ask the reception for that and sign it. Usually 6 months, 1 year, and for life, etc. I did it for life. Second, find someone you really trust, and have them manage your money for a while. He/she must have iron discipline, know you and care about you well enough to give you only what you need to survive. I've tried quitting for years now, and only recently have I been successful - these two tactics were the only things that worked in the end; therapy, psychology and GA didn't get the job done. I hope you find some other help in terms of smoking.

Husky
_________________________
Husky

My Story

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#431137 - 04/13/13 05:42 PM Re: gambling and smoking [Re: bass drummer]
LazyPirate Offline


Registered: 01/03/13
Posts: 106
Loc: Ontario
I can't offer anything on the gambling side. Best of luck to you.

Smoking... I've quit & come back so many times I've actually lost count! The patch was the only thing that worked for a decent period of time for me. I once quit for about 4 months with the patch. I have, at this point, resigned myself to the fact that smoking is perhaps my greatest pleasure & will eventually end my life too. I have no other vices (coffee, maybe?)... I don't drink, do drugs, gamble, nothing... So smoking cigarettes will stay for now. I'm not trying to tell you to not quit, but for myself it's a way to cope. I'm damaged & mentally ill. If smoking makes me happy, damn it... I'll smoke! smile Best of luck in whatever you do!
_________________________
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

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#431138 - 04/13/13 05:52 PM Re: gambling and smoking [Re: bass drummer]
bass drummer Offline


Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 27
Loc: new zealand
I have tried to give up both for a long time now or thats what it feels like i have been 6 weeks with out smoking about 3 years ago then life got to hard again so i went out and got a pack and bang im hocked again its very hard to give up but i want and need to do it maybe it will help me heal i dont no but i have to try and find out
_________________________
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to live again

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#431149 - 04/13/13 07:19 PM Re: gambling and smoking [Re: bass drummer]
txb Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 216
I quit smoking with the patches (twice). Life got really stressful and I started again after the first time. But right now I haven't smoked since probably the end of August. It helped that I got in with a new group of friends and none of them smoked. (I still have these really weird and realistic dreams about smoking though.) I had pretty good help and support through my doctors surgery. Hopefully you can find some support where you live.

This is something I do with self-harm, but maybe it will help. It's basically distraction. Like I tell myself I have to wait 5 minutes and try and distract myself with something else. Then maybe I can wait another 5 minutes, then 5 more, till I don't really feel like it anymore. I never tell myself I can't do it. Because that would just make me rebel against myself and do it anyway. I tell myself I can but first I try to distract myself. Maybe you could try something like that to help you stop gambling? Good luck.

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#431291 - 04/15/13 02:56 AM Re: gambling and smoking [Re: bass drummer]
bass drummer Offline


Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 27
Loc: new zealand
I asked my mum for help today and all she said was how can i help you when im 100km away.

All i asked for was a little bit of help and she couldnt think of any way to help me how bad is that
_________________________
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to live again

Top
#431293 - 04/15/13 03:18 AM Re: gambling and smoking [Re: bass drummer]
Metolius Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/09/12
Posts: 41
Loc: Oregon
It hurts your mom can't help you. My experience, though, is that my family, even when they would like to be helpful and supportive, haven't been able to provide the help needed. Help always comes from people who aren't so closely and intimately connected to me: therapists, therapy and support group members, friends I can run problems past and get their perspective.

My theme these days is never to go it alone, especially when it comes to the self-defeating/self-destructive habits that rob me of my sense of worth and create shame and isolation.

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#431295 - 04/15/13 03:37 AM Re: gambling and smoking [Re: txb]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Unfortunately I can't help you with gambling, but I did smoke for about 20 years and I've now been a non-smoker for almost 10 years.

Originally Posted By: txb
This is something I do with self-harm, but maybe it will help. It's basically distraction. Like I tell myself I have to wait 5 minutes and try and distract myself with something else. Then maybe I can wait another 5 minutes, then 5 more, till I don't really feel like it anymore. I never tell myself I can't do it. Because that would just make me rebel against myself and do it anyway. I tell myself I can but first I try to distract myself. Maybe you could try something like that to help you stop gambling? Good luck.

I used this a lot when I quit smoking. I can have a cig in 5 minutes... when I've finished this... after tea time... etc, etc. Then I get busy again and forget about it until 30 minutes or so later.

The patches/gum/etc never worked for me. I went through a few cycles of using gum to get off cigs, using patches to get off the gum, and ended up smoking again as soon as I ran out of patches... In the end, I just had to get my head in the right place. I basically convinced myself that I was really a non-smoker. Stopped hanging out with the smokers at work, sitting in smoking sections in restaurants, etc, and then, one day, I just stopped. I went home, washed all my clothes, my bed linen, etc - everything that smelled of cigarette smoke - and that was it. I had a few cravings afterwards (obviously) which I dealt with using the postponement trick of by substituting something else (like chewing on a carrot. I ate a lot of carrots in the first few months after quitting). I've had a few relapses since then, when I would buy a pack and finish it, but the trick is to not buy the second pack - ie. get back on the wagon ASAP, before it becomes your lifestyle again.

PS: Some people claim to have had success with Zyban. Never used it myself so I can't really comment. Just saying some people swear by it.
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#431346 - 04/15/13 06:33 PM Re: gambling and smoking [Re: crazy gecko]
LazyPirate Offline


Registered: 01/03/13
Posts: 106
Loc: Ontario
Originally Posted By: crazy gecko

PS: Some people claim to have had success with Zyban. Never used it myself so I can't really comment. Just saying some people swear by it.


I did the Zyban thing about 10 years ago... Flipping insane! I was planning to kill people & my skin was crawling! Beware the side effects.

I tried an e-cig a while back. I would use one to cut back on the smokes & it kinda worked. I didn't stick with it though. I don't know why. I would highly suggest at least buying a disposable one to try it.
_________________________
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

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