hurting, i totally get where you're at. my wife told me COUNTLESS times, "stop saying you think you're fat. stop talking about it and/or do something about it."
i just wanted her to hear me, you know? to encourage me. but the fact is, how i felt about myself had little to do with what I looked like and more about the lens i was looking through. i dealt with this exact issue, self-image. as i started to get deeper and more open into therapy, it hit me. I'm 31 and a handsome guy. happened as a i got out of the shower one day and i saw a reflection in the mirror i hadn't seen before, the real me, grown up.
continue to feel and journal and be angry and anxious and overwhelmed. work it out brother, i know i've been there. it's not easy, but you're on the right path. at the very least, just know you're on the right path
your discoveries will be your own, but i suspect your body image issue will unlock a deeper held belief (a lie) about yourself. one that says you are not good looking, unworthy, undesirable. see, that's just totally untrue. all we have are character and honesty... that's what good women are drawn to
keep it up man!