a) I was to start with a new T on Thursday, but the worst happened & I couldn't control it... I had a huge panic attack & didn't go. I called & said that my truck broke down. I felt like shit for doing it. It was so dishonest, but that didn't make any difference. I couldn't bring myself to complete the drive there. I pulled into a Canadian Tire, made the call, went & got a hot dog at the chip truck in the parking lot & sat there for about an hour trying to get myself to go anyway... Though I knew it would be too late. I haven't re-scheduled yet. Will call next week.
#2 - I have been going to a mental hospital to try to get into this drug trial. I've been there now 4 times talking to the study c/o. She is so sweet & nice. Anyhow, I finally got to the point where the drug company that commissioned the study wanted to talk to me. So I spoke to a Psychiatrist of theirs over the phone, from the hospital. After a hour on the phone with the guy he reports that I'm not suitable for the study. I am very disappointed that this didn't work out, because I wanted to help others & possibly myself. I was trying to figure out why I wasn't suitable last night & it hit me. He asked if I had ever seen a ghost! I had answered honestly & said yes. So I Googled it & sure enough some psychiatrists think that if you see ghosts you must have schizophrenia!
...........................Maybe I do. Honestly I don't think that the subject had ever come up in T before.
That's my past couple of days.
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson