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#431173 - 04/13/13 11:00 PM Why would they ask that?
Justnotright Offline


Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 19
Loc: Mid-Michigan
The other day I had to have a colonoscopy. When the nurse was getting me ready with the IV and doing the paperwork, she asked me several questions. One she asked has been bothering me pretty bad. She wanted to know if I was ever abused.

when i answered yes, she listed three different options.

I've not told many people about what happened to me when I was a child and this REALLY threw me for a loop. I know she listed sexually and physically but because i was so caught off guard, i do not recall the third option. I was honest and said sexually - forgetting the physical abuse (it tends to pale in comparison).

she made note in the computer system and that was that. i'm feeling violated and exposed. when i have the follow up visit with the doctor, i'm going to have to ask about that incident.

i might have to call on Monday (it's Saturday night now) and see when i can get in to see that doc again - even if just to ask about why the nurse would want to know that.

one thought i had about why the question was if i'm under and start having issues with bad dreams, they would want to know what was going on. i've been known to have really horrible night terrors that spoke out everyone in the house.

perhaps when i was under for something else, those doctors made notes in my file about it and they wanted to give the other doc's a heads' up about the nut case they're putting under.

i'll have to find out more. but in the meantime, i'll just have to find ways to put this out of my mind. deep sigh.
_________________________
If you can't take a joke, you need a nap. Me.

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#431177 - 04/13/13 11:16 PM Re: Why would they ask that? [Re: Justnotright]
lapchinj Online   content
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1200
Loc: New York
Hey Just,

There should have been no reason to ask about your past if it has nothing to do with a procedure. I get a colonoscopy ever year and a half and have never been asked about that. They only thing that they should ask is what drugs you are taking and when you took them last. It is definitely not professional to ask such things, she was wrong. If it is in your record I would ask them to remove it.

Even my family doctor when I started taking medicine for my shit just so he knows what I'm on he didn't ask me why I was taking those medicines. I eventually told him I was taking those pills because I was sexually abused and it was not my parents. He will never ask me unless I start a conversation about it with him. Really I didn't tell him but when my wife went to him the next time I told her to tell him, I was ashamed. Now every time I see him around or in the office or for my colonoscopy he asks me how I am but will not ask further.

She was wrong, period.

I should have started this post by welcoming you but it bothered me what you went through. But it is unfortunate that you have to come here for the reasons we are all here. There are a lot of resources here for you, use them well and heal fast.

Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Jeff
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Stick around, It will get better....

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#431211 - 04/14/13 03:41 AM Re: Why would they ask that? [Re: Justnotright]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1530
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: Justnotright
When the nurse was getting me ready with the IV and doing the paperwork, she asked me several questions. One she asked has been bothering me pretty bad. She wanted to know if I was ever abused.
Hey Justnotright,

I'm not sure if this is any comfort, but I'm a nurse and I can tell you that its become very common to ask about safety and abuse as part of taking a patient's history. Its part of the medical profession's realization that issues of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse are a major public health problem. Protocols differ in different facilities and states, but it doesn't surprise me.

That being said, some nurses just ask the question so they can check it off the list they have, and have no real interest, much less empathy. A positive response from you should have resulted in some follow up from the nurse or doctor, to assure that those needs are being attended to. She dropped the ball, but there's no reason for you to feel troubled by it.

BTW, when I had my colonoscopy, before I was put under, I said to the doctor "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

Jude
_________________________
Well, I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down.
Tom Petty

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#431221 - 04/14/13 08:13 AM Re: Why would they ask that? [Re: Justnotright]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3401
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Just -

i have had that procedure twice now. the first time i was really anxious about it. it was between my 2 periods of therapy. i knew enough to be scared and nervous and was expecting to be triggered. no one asked that question but i had the option of being put under completely. i chose it. it was so great to start counting and then wake up knowing it was over. the 2nd time was just a few weeks ago. it was at a different hospital. i was also anxious this time - but not as much. i told them i had this anxiety and requested general anesthesia. they were fine with that. i would guess that the nature of the test - essentially inserting a foreign object there - could be very traumatic for anyone with a certain history. but it is surprising that there was no reassurance or calming efforts to help you feel more relaxed and at ease about it. insensitive - if you ask me!

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#431380 - 04/15/13 11:50 PM Re: Why would they ask that? [Re: Justnotright]
Justnotright Offline


Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 19
Loc: Mid-Michigan
so, i called the doctor's office today to find out why they asked about prior abuses. the head nurse said there are 2 reasons. 1 is it is michigan law that they ask it. the 2nd reason was as i thought, they wanted to make sure they were prepared to help me and take proper care of me in the advent i had a flash-back while under sedation.

she appologized if it caused me issues. i told her it was a good thing she asked and was prepared. i've only been having flash backs a couple of years now and would be candidate for a flash-back while asleep. i don't think i did on Friday. but i've had several issues triggered since the conversation with the nurse.

i told the head nurse no big deal - as long as i can talk it out and make sure i'm on the same page with them. it doesn't make it any easier to deal with the fall out from them asking - but at least i know why now.

and thank you all for the responses. i especially lke the one about the note to the wife. hehe. and i appreciate Jeff's response - deeply appreciate it.

and to be honest, this was the first time i've had to divulge to anyone other than the people i've chosen about the abuse. i've told some of my kids, my ex-wife, my current husband, a therapist and few others. but it was my choice - this shook me up because i wasn't prepared to include these particular people.

i think it will be a stepping stone in the recovery process. i'm hoping everything that happens to me from this point forward is.
_________________________
If you can't take a joke, you need a nap. Me.

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#431392 - 04/16/13 02:00 AM Re: Why would they ask that? [Re: Justnotright]
lapchinj Online   content
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1200
Loc: New York
Hey Just

Those sound like OK reasons. I didn't know that you could have a flashback under sedation. My flashbacks can get pretty rough so I can see them getting the hammer out just in case I would have one. I can also see it as being beneficial as be a stepping stone in your recovery process. It's just the idea of making a person open up when he's not ready. I can see me saying that I was abused to that question but I would refuse to give any details, I wouldn't think that going that far would be appropriate. Admitting is OK, details are not. Besides, if they would want details then they would have to hire a stenographer for mine and other guys I know crazy.

Good luck and welcome to the crazy world of MS, you'll do well here. And thanks for that tidbit about law. I'm pretty sure then that Michigan is not the only state that with that type of law.

Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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