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#430700 - 04/09/13 11:45 PM Re: "....once you are Real you can't be ugly,... [Re: ThisMan]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 758
Loc: upper south
I thought I had taken care of the CSA 20 yrs ago. I had not. The recent assault brought it all forward. To be honest, the T said I needed to go back and deal with that before I dealt with the adult rape. It's part of being REAL. Ouch. Being real hurts. lol... And if the next 20 yrs go as fast as the last 20, man I just have to pick up the pace on being happy.

To all of you guys, FBLee, and TLEE, Ken,and 1LN, Suw, and SStar, and LDaniel, I just say a thousand thanks for your positive words.

To this new young man among us called Luke... "be golden to yourself"... what a beautiful phrase to say to someone. Be golden to yourself. I like that.

And FBLee... Dr. Phil is the tall, bald, "smart" guy with lots of money and a cute wife. Mr. Bill (me) is the tall, bald, "handsome" guy without lots of money or a cute wife. Thanks for the smile man.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#430723 - 04/10/13 04:08 AM Re: "....once you are Real you can't be ugly,... [Re: ThisMan]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
I read this yesterday, but was too emotional to respond.

Quote:
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."


Quote:
once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.

I was made real once. Someone loved me for a long, long time, not just to play with, by REALLY loved me. I became real. Yes, it hurt, but it was worth it.

She is no longer here, but I am still real, and learning day by day to become more so. Sometimes it still hurts like hell, but I'd take the pain over going back to being just a toy, any day.

Thank you so much for this post. Thank you for reminding me of this story, and giving it a whole new meaning...
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#430736 - 04/10/13 09:02 AM Re: "....once you are Real you can't be ugly,... [Re: ThisMan]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1370
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: ThisMan
And something began to happen. I began to understand. It has taken a full 6 months, but I am beginning to understand.


Beautiful ThisMan! However long it takes, this is what we are all working for. You're going to feel more of that healing. Don't let anything or anyone stop you.

Jude
_________________________
"When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown, the dream is gone
And I have become comfortably numb."
Pink Floyd

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#430743 - 04/10/13 09:58 AM Re: "....once you are Real you can't be ugly,... [Re: ThisMan]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Originally Posted By: ThisMan


And FBLee... Dr. Phil is the tall, bald, "smart" guy with lots of money and a cute wife. Mr. Bill (me) is the tall, bald, "handsome" guy without lots of money or a cute wife. Thanks for the smile man.



Bill you left out "funny"!!! laugh


So I read the story tonight ... and bawled my eyes out like a baby (errr I mean the big strong man that I am)...... so much meaning....

Thanks again.

Lee
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#430755 - 04/10/13 12:25 PM Re: "....once you are Real you can't be ugly,... [Re: crazy gecko]
focusedbody Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 274
Loc: NY
Originally Posted By: crazy gecko

Sometimes it still hurts like hell, but I'd take the pain over going back to being just a toy, any day.


crazy gecko, thanks for pointing out that the commitment to be real stands right next the willingness to engage pain.

For so many years I have passed by people who had the courage to do this in favor of spending time with people who seemed more whole because they could talk a good number of circles around my pain, making me feel like I didn't have to deal with it.

Being a toy no longer means standing my ground, taking a good deep breath and letting the words come. It's going to be a new way of living, this real. It's going to be hard. It will probably scrape the bottom of the ugly barrel at times.

But I'm betting it will be me.

Focused
_________________________
Lose the drama; life is a poem.

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