Overcomer, I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing that kind of response. It's sad. I understand your need to suppress anger with laughter as you are in disbelief.
Thank you for sharing this. It helps puts my own family's messed up response in context. My mom and sister still talk to the asshole who abused me. I'm like, seriously?! My sister lets him around her kids!
I'm fully invested in therapy and recovery. I'm telling people at work, my friends, and now I want to tell my family. All I get in response is, no. You'll hurt them, they're dealing with their own stuff. REALLY NOW?! I DON'T GIVE TWO FLYING FUCKS! It's time for ME to get some damn love. I didn't ask for this and it is not ME bringing them anything. There is blame to be had, but it's not mine.
My T explained to me cognitive distortions... I am altering their firmly held beliefs. They may think one thing about my abuser and I am turning it on its head. Same thing with my family.
It's sad, but the people in our lives, especially those closest to us and those who hurt us, just don't have enough experience, context, or understanding to help us through this. Compassion only goes so far. I've learned to temper what I can expect from them. It has helped me tremendously.
I still ask if my mom is ready to tell family yet or if she's working on it... she's working on it, still. But I am not relenting. There is a balance and I am working on it.
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.