For others who have come out of the other side of this, what is it like once you have buried your child self and have become your own widower?
When I hear my aunt say things like, "You were such a cute kid," it kills me inside because 1) that cuteness is what got me raped, and 2) had I not been raped, that cuteness might have blossomed into attractiveness, self-confidence and athleticism instead of the half-man I've become.
LAD, stay strong with the hypno-therapy. Nothing works on the first session. And I've been seeing the same EMDR doc since early January, and we've still not started processing yet because EMDR with DID clients like us is dangerous work, and any T worth his/her salt will know to go slow with you. Every time I try to rush my T into starting processing, something happens with me that confirms to us that "slow and steady" is the best policy.
I'm up to 13 mg of naltrexone with no adverse reactions other than some strange things happening inside my identity matrix. It's allowing Izzy to become stronger, giving him more room inside to "be." No real memory breakthroughs and not yet a cure for the acting out, but it's not hurting either.
At 13 mg, this stuff becomes incredibly cheap, as 30 tablets of 50 mg each costs less than $50. If I take a quarter-tablet (12.5 mg) daily and a half tab (25 mg) on the night before my session, that $50 prescription will last for months.
edit: LAD, re: hypnosis. Your T is right that you need a "safe place." You've said here before that you don't have a safe place (anyway, I think you've said that.) It's good of her to want to do some work to prepare you and your mind for the hard stuff.
So, going again to establish a safe place that you can breathe your way into would be a very good place to start, and could help you in other ways too.
Edited by cant_remember (04/08/13 02:04 PM)
Edit Reason: added note to LAD
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.