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#430088 - 04/04/13 12:37 PM Introduction
Dave PNW Offline


Registered: 04/03/13
Posts: 111
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Thank you for being a resource for men like me who are trying to work through sexual abuse or unwanted sexual experiences from childhood. It has been 40 years this month when I was first sexually abused at the end of 7th grade. It continued for two years. I have kept this secret for 40 years and I am just now starting to face it honestly. I am scared, vulnerable, confused. Thank you for being here to help. Your courage is giving me a voice. More later.

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#430092 - 04/04/13 01:07 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Dave PNW]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3601
Loc: South-East Europe
Hi dw1972+ and welcome to Male Survivor!
I'm sad when knowing about reason that brought you here. At least this is good place for getting additional support, don't forget that you are not alone!
Please take your time to learn browsing trough the site and what is offered to all of us here. In case if you'd feel overwhelmed while reading other stories please take care for yourself and step back. We have to look on ourselves all time long and to be sensitive if something would traumatize or trigger us.

Once more Welcome!

Pero
_________________________
My story

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#430095 - 04/04/13 01:27 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Dave PNW]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1490
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: dw1972+
....I have kept this secret for 40 years and I am just now starting to face it honestly. I am scared, vulnerable, confused.

Welcome DW!

You are in good company. There are all kinds of men here, all ages, races, types, orientations, and backgrounds. The one common thread is we've come to face what was done to us as boys. I kept my secret for 42 years. Others here are younger men who have the courage to deal with this at an age where I was still hiding. However long its taken to arrive at this point, we support and encourage ourselves by telling our stories to other guys who "get it", without judegement.

Hope to hear more form you.

Jude
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#430096 - 04/04/13 01:35 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Dave PNW]
Dave PNW Offline


Registered: 04/03/13
Posts: 111
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Thanks Pero. I appreciate your kind words. My post today was the first time i have told anyone even a little bit about what happened to me. Big step. I read your story and I can relate to many of your struggles and conflict. Take care of yourself and thank you for welcomming me. Dave

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#430100 - 04/04/13 03:04 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Jude]
Dave PNW Offline


Registered: 04/03/13
Posts: 111
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Thank You Jude for the kind welcome. I really appreciate having a safe place to talk and listen and learn. I have been working on this on my own and now am ready to get support and insight from other guys working through this. I have been writing down my story about some of what happened and will share it soon. I noticed that many stories have trigger warnings. When do you know when it is right to put this tag on a message? I dont want to say something that might hurt someone. I am new to this. Thanks for the support.

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#430165 - 04/05/13 02:51 AM Re: Introduction [Re: Dave PNW]
pbert53 Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/09
Posts: 576
Loc: Washington, USA
Hey dw1972+,

Glad to see that you are posting. People put the 'trigger' warning on anything that could be triggering. It could be parts of your story or how you describe something, or things that may trigger others. It is a way to let guys know that there may be something that could trigger, not that it always triggers.

It is a courteous way to let others that something you are saying may difficult for some. Please don't worry too much about it. Just to be safe give a trigger warning.

take care, glad you are here

peace

paul
_________________________
If you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.

~ adapted from: Sri Ram

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#430171 - 04/05/13 08:39 AM Re: Introduction [Re: Dave PNW]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1570
Welcome and sorry you have to be here--but with what you have gone through you could not be in a better place. I kept my secret for 44 or so years but after 40 years the memories were so strong and overtook. Triggers were everywhere in my life. I found MS, therapy and support groups and the support of friends. It is a difficult journey to heal, but each step forward brings you closer to the joy and happiness you deserve. Do not give up, you will move ahead two steps and may take a step backwards-it is all part of regaining your life. Share what you are comfortable sharing, we all move at our own pace. Vent when you need to vent, people are not judgmental here--and boy I have done my share of venting.

Good luck

Kevin

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#430204 - 04/05/13 12:41 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Dave PNW]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 315
Loc: Iowa, USA
DW,

Welcome to MS. I am sorry that you must be here, but you will find a great deal of support and compassion for you by the guys here. I can relate to your story. I was molested in 1973 and kept it a secret for 40 years. I understand what it's like to live with the secret and the shame that goes with it. No one here will judge you for what you had to go through. On the contrary, there will be a lot of support. Please take care of yourself. It is your journey to recovery and take it at your pace. Good luck to you

DavO

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#430220 - 04/05/13 02:13 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Dave PNW]
Dave PNW Offline


Registered: 04/03/13
Posts: 111
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Thanks DavO and Kevin. The support i have gotten over the last 24 hours has been so good and warm. I had to go out for a walk after i got your messages. Cant cry at my desk in the office. Some of this really hurts. Before i started to get hit by triggers and memories last october, i hadnt really wept in 40 years. That part of me hardened off back then. Sometimes this is really hard. Thanks my name is Dave

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#430577 - 04/08/13 10:31 PM Re: Introduction [Re: Dave PNW]
honorableman Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/19/09
Posts: 25
Loc: United States
You are a great man, don't forget that.

No sick person can change take anything away from you. The shame is not yours.

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