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#429782 - 04/02/13 01:20 AM .
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (04/20/13 08:30 PM)

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#429786 - 04/02/13 03:08 AM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (04/21/13 11:10 PM)

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#429787 - 04/02/13 03:32 AM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (04/21/13 11:11 PM)

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#429791 - 04/02/13 08:05 AM Re: How does my Dad ALWAYS know when I post Craigslist [Re: Life's A Dream]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 918
Loc: New York
LAD,

It is entirely possible he has some keylogger program on your computer or tracks everyplace the home server is pointed - but only looks at Craigslist postings - precisely because you've posted some seriously high-risk requests.

Doesn't mean he's not the perp, but its another explanation.


Matt
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#429797 - 04/02/13 09:17 AM Re: How does my Dad ALWAYS know when I post Craigslist [Re: Life's A Dream]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1046
LAD,

Your father has every reason to be concerned with your online acting out. You are engaging in increasingly risky behavior that worries us, as well.

Your father could have simply set up a Google alert set for craigslist and any key word(s) he knows you may use.

You need to come to terms with how you are using Craigslist anyway; it is not sustainable. This could be a good moment to ask your dad for help in breaking the cycle.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#429800 - 04/02/13 10:19 AM Re: How does my Dad ALWAYS know when I post Craigslist [Re: Life's A Dream]
EdfromNYC Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 233
Loc: New York City
I'm not sure what help you are asking for. There's a lot going on here. Mostly, I read a lot of confusion, which I identify with, the confusion of my motives and why I do the things that I do and then why I feel the way I do. A lot of my contrary actions are rooted in the confusion that CSA gave me.

I identify with seeking abuse, too. I did many years ago, through my teens and 20's. Lot's of compulsion on my part, compelled to do things that were rooted in CSA and family shame and a misdirected sex drive that brought me to dangerous situations. That is the other thing here - the huge element of danger.

I don't know how your father is or whether he is your perp but you could be bringing dangerous people into proximity of your father's home and that is real, not imaginary. I would be concerned if someone who lived in my home invited ANY strangers in. It is concerning.

Sounds like you might be trying to sort some things out which is a positive.
_________________________
And more, much more, the heart may feel,
Than the pen may write or the lip reveal.
Winthrop Mackworth Praed

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#429803 - 04/02/13 11:01 AM Re: How does my Dad ALWAYS know when I post Craigslist [Re: Life's A Dream]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6607
Loc: FEMA Region 1
this is how: LINK
_________________________
Hell needs firewood too ya know!

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#429804 - 04/02/13 11:10 AM Re: How does my Dad ALWAYS know when I post Craigslist [Re: Life's A Dream]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1438
Loc: California
Hi LAD,

A few things:

1. You've admitted to participating (or desiring to) in VERY risky behavior. Inviting strangers over to your home (your DAD'S?) is very risky.

2. When your dad found out, he has EVERY REASON to be alarmed and to protect himself from such risks. Inviting strangers into his home is a safety concern on both his AND your behalf.

As for your dad "knowing" how you're posting on Craigslist...

1. You mentioned your apartment building in your craigslist ad. I'm willing to bet that not many people post ads like that, specifically from your apartment building. Your dad knows you did it before, and therefore, knows that if you're going to post, to look for the apartment name.

2. A google "notify me" when certain words appear as search strings on the internet works in this way. This is very likely the way he's finding out about the ads you're posting (using your apartment building name).

3. If you're on wi-fi, and you're using his wi-fi connection, there are ways to snoop data.

4. If you're using his computer in his home (?), maybe he's recording your keystrokes. Or looking through your browser history.

But in all likelihood, the easiest thing is that he is using google notify for new search strings / entries.

I want to reiterate what I said before - it sounds like you are living in your dad's home. And your posting on craigslist for strangers to come over is a safety hazard, and your dad has every right to try and protect himself from dangerous behavior.

Please consider the risks you are taking by inviting complete strangers into your home.

D
_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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#429805 - 04/02/13 11:12 AM Re: How does my Dad ALWAYS know when I post Craigslist [Re: Life's A Dream]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: LifesADeam
I know if you're reading this you've lost all respect for me by now. But it's like an irresistable compulsion to act it out.

Dear LAD,

None of us can criticize you because we have all acted out sexually, in unhealthy ways that put ourselves at risk and in danger. We've all had our sexuality twisted in one way or another.

Nonetheless, I have to ask that you consider that your father's tracking of your online activities is less of an issue than are the activities themselves.

You seem to be looking for degradation and humiliation. You admit that its not pleasurable, but rather a compulsion. It is not criticism or disrespect for us to say "thats not healthy for you, not safe for you, and not what you deserve."

Whatever your father is up to, you (and all of us) need to pursue a healthy, safe, and self-respecting sexuality for yourself. I'm not saying thats easy. God knows it hasn't been easy for me. But you can start just by making it your goal. We'll support you in seeking that if you decide its what you want.

Jude
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

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#429881 - 04/02/13 09:28 PM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (04/21/13 11:11 PM)

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