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#429707 - 04/01/13 09:00 AM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 324
Loc: Iowa, USA
Lee
I'm very happy for you that you are able to forgive your brother and as a result establish a healthy adult relationship with your brother
DavO

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#429717 - 04/01/13 10:43 AM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3357
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Farmer boy Lee -

so good to hear that the time with your brother went as well as it did. i was very concerned. sounds like one key was trying not to have expectations that were too specific. glad you were able to do that. of course the anxiety is harder to control.

it does sound like you have made some progress here. not least - the fact that you went through a very triggering situation for an extended period of time and didn't fall apart or melt down.

another great point is that he didn't deny anything - and seems to be leaving the door open to further discussion in the future - that is pretty significant - considering that you have lots of support and have been working on this for some time - and apparently he has not had that.

i respect and admire you for having such mercy on him and would hope that he recognizes this too. that might be a means of strengthening your bonds. it would be wonderful if you could support one another.

stick close to "home" and take it easy for a while, if you can. in my experience, there is sometimes a big emotional let-down that follows an intense event like this. we are here for you.

traveler lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#429757 - 04/01/13 06:56 PM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
focusedbody Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 332
Loc: NY
Hey, Farmer Boy:

I'm glad you were able to speak to your brother.

I agree with Traveler. Take good care of yourself in the next couple of weeks.

When in doubt, breathe, and breathe again.

Focused
_________________________
Lose the drama; life is a poem.

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#429792 - 04/02/13 08:10 AM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
Joe44040 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/12
Posts: 10
Loc: Ohio
Lee,

Your growth in understanding what you have been through and your processing/being fully present to achieve the life you want and deserve is amazing. I couldn't be more proud and elated for you, my brother.

Much love,

Joe
_________________________
"As a man in his last breath
drops all that he is carrying
each breath is a little death
that can set us free."


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#429831 - 04/02/13 02:24 PM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 412
Loc: Canada
Hi Lee ...

I'm so very proud of you.


Sharky
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

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#429873 - 04/02/13 08:38 PM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
wearytraveler Offline


Registered: 01/12/13
Posts: 49
Loc: xxxx
=deleted


Edited by wearytraveler (11/10/13 07:00 AM)

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#432707 - 04/28/13 07:31 AM Re: Good relationship with your abuser?? [Re: Farmer Boy]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 594
Thank you for sharing that, BP. That was brave.
_________________________
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone

just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.

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