Newest Members
pjmd, j_f1974, Dan234racer, ajax, marmill252
12431 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
mTm (55), Oz (28)
Who's Online
4 registered (highflight, Dave PNW, manipulated, 1 invisible), 24 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12431 Members
74 Forums
63840 Topics
445797 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 5 of 5 < 1 2 3 4 5
Topic Options
#434052 - 05/08/13 03:53 PM Re: Was anyone ever used in child porn? [Re: jasondoe101]
toddop Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 224
Loc: California
I want to thank Jason for starting this post, and everyone on this thread for sharing their painful stories. I have been dealing with the child pornography aspect of my CSA over the past few months and it has been going a bit off the rails.

I was made to do child pornography between the ages of 8-10 by two coaches. They filmed my abuse and had other men abuse me on camera. I don't have that aspect of bonding with my perps (I hate them), but could understand how that could happen in your particular situations.

I have to admit I have been tempted to search out images of myself to try to gain control, but have decided not to. Just seems like too risky and that the potential benefits do not outweigh the risks.

I posted my own topic about the effects that it has had on me, then I discovered this thread and got to read all of the posts.

It is awful that there are so many of us that had a child pornography aspect of our abuse. But, I feel glad that I can identify with so many other guys on here. It is really validating to know that I am not alone and that I am not crazy.

So, thanks for the courage everyone is showing by sharing and having a dialogue about this. It has made a world of difference to me to hear your voices.

My best wishes to everyone's recovery and healing.
_________________________
Todd

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
-Albert Einstein

Top
#434062 - 05/08/13 06:16 PM Re: Was anyone ever used in child porn? [Re: jasondoe101]
David Mac Offline


Registered: 04/30/13
Posts: 57
Loc: Pacific North West
Lapchinj,
Thanks for the help.

Mac

Top
#434064 - 05/08/13 06:42 PM Re: Was anyone ever used in child porn? [Re: jasondoe101]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1229
Loc: New York
Originally Posted By: toddop
....I have been tempted to search out images of myself to try to gain control....

Don't do it, why try and explain your way out of a bad situation to the cops. I didn't gain anything from finding my pictures. If I would have come to MS I would have known that even 50 or 100 year old porn is on the net. So if someone took pictures I'm sure it's out there.

Originally Posted By: toddop
....It is really validating to know that I am not alone and that I am not crazy....

Unfortunately there are many of us that are in the same boat. I also thought that I was alone and crazy but once I came here to MS I read stories that make me want to puke.

Originally Posted By: toddop
....It has made a world of difference to me to hear your voices....

You can feel good that you can now be one of those voices that will help others. Welcome, but unfortunately you had to come here in the first place.

Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

Top
#434065 - 05/08/13 06:44 PM Re: Was anyone ever used in child porn? [Re: jasondoe101]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1229
Loc: New York
Hey Mac,

I just hope I didn't make you feel bad or cross any boundaries.

Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

Top
#434076 - 05/08/13 10:13 PM Re: Was anyone ever used in child porn? [Re: jasondoe101]
toddop Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/14/11
Posts: 224
Loc: California
Jeff,
Thanks for the advice, the kind words, and the support!
_________________________
Todd

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
-Albert Einstein

Top
Page 5 of 5 < 1 2 3 4 5


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.