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#429455 - 03/29/13 10:10 AM Unsettling Dreams
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
I awoke this morn to a recurring dream I have been having lately of one of the men that have hurt me. I had this overwhelmingly sense of sadness. He was standing there, looking at me with such sadness in his eyes while placing his belongings in the bag.

He finished, closed the zipper, picked the bag up by the handles, and said not a word. He looked at me- again with extreme sadness- turned and walked away. It has left me unsettled as I try to sort it out. I am one of those dream people and usually I know for myself what they mean, but I can't determine this one. If anyone has an interpretation for me, let me know.

I feel like I have done something terribly wrong. It is the same feeling I had when I was the victim, like it was my fault. Now how friggin' strange is that ? What is going on in my heart and my head to cause me to dream this ?
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#429474 - 03/29/13 12:38 PM Re: Unsettling Dreams [Re: ThisMan]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1038
I see this as a positive dream. The man in your dream was one of your perps, right? But of course it wasn't really him, but rather the part of yourself that is represented by an image of him.

His packing and leaving means that he is no longer in your head, that he no longer has power over you, that you have moved on and don't need him around any more to cause you any more pain.

I'm sorry you feel confused about how to feel about it, but I think as you chew on this, you will find it to have been a positive dream that helps you grow stronger.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#429530 - 03/30/13 12:07 AM Re: Unsettling Dreams [Re: ThisMan]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1478
Loc: New England
I too recently had a dream about my abuser, whom I have not been able to find and don't know if he's dead or alive. I had been trying unsucessfully, to contact other men who were my childhood friends in the same neighborhood that my pedophile lived, to see if they knew anything about him.

In my dream, I unexpectantly ran into the pedophile, and instead of confronting him, I asked him if he knew the whereabouts of any of my childhood friends. Then I let him go. I kept thinking, "No, no, its HIM you want! Go back, go back!" Then the dream ended with no resolution. I am finding it very unsettling, but am not sure if it means anything.

Jude
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#429560 - 03/30/13 08:21 AM Re: Unsettling Dreams [Re: ThisMan]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Jude, I understand what you mean. I have been trying to find anger or disgust or some other emotional feeling other than something positive for this guy in the first dream, and its been hard. I can't make myself hate him. I want to, but I don't. So Cant is probably correct in that I am subconsciously sending him away. Letting him go. I no longer give him control, and its been a true process to achieve, but I am almost there. Almost.

I again dreamed last night. Now get this, I have never been assaulted in my home, Its a safe place in reality. But in my dreams three adults entered my home unannounced. Two male, one female. They were brandishing guns and knives and they meant to do me harm. In the ensuing battle, even the female attempted to assault me. I fought them with hand to hand. All three. And I was the victor. Like a teenager playing a video game, which I hadn't played since the days of the original Mario, I defended and won against the attackers.

Soooo.... at least in my dreams, if you hurt me, I will send you away or beat the sh** out of you. I'm going to say my subconscious is doing some spring cleaning ! ...and to end on a positive note... there are none of us as weak as we sometimes feel. We just aren't. Deeply wounded, but by emerging as survivors, we have proven our metal in the world. Even in our dreams. Angels, all.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#429577 - 03/30/13 03:25 PM Re: Unsettling Dreams [Re: ThisMan]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1038
Your dreams give us hope.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#429580 - 03/30/13 04:49 PM . [Re: ThisMan]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (04/21/13 11:10 PM)

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#429592 - 03/30/13 08:56 PM Re: Unsettling Dreams [Re: ThisMan]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 412
Loc: Canada
Hi ThisMan

I have sat here for an hour and a half trying to say something, to tell you about my experiences with the dreams ...
They tortured me for 30 years.

write ... erase ... write ... erase ... write ... erase ...

I finally gave up ... I just couldn't find a way to phrase it in a manner
I would feel comfortable expressing here in an open post.

So I'm just going to give you my two thoughts ...

The home invasion dream had everything to do with power ... yours.
It was utterly impossible for you to defend yourself as a child ... but not anymore.

and LAD has a point.

We don't know who the man in your dream is to you in real life ... but clearly he was not a stranger.
It seems that you cared for each other.

Maybe the man in your dream was packing and leaving because you are telling him he must go.
Maybe ... just maybe ... the deep sorrow in his eyes are saying ...

" I'm sorry. "
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

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#429632 - 03/31/13 01:43 PM Re: Unsettling Dreams [Re: ThisMan]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Shyshark, LaD,

I feel like the guy who was caught with contraband in his pocket... busted! I have issues of feeling "safe" posting where I should regarding the man in my dreams, and its not appropriate here because it doesn't deal with CSA. But just maybe when I sent him away, maybe he was truly sorry that what happened had happened. Just maybe. Sorrow in life runs deep and free.

When you say... write... erase...write...erase... you sound so much like me. I do it all the time. But again, you are hitting something soundly, I believe. I am feeling more powerful with each day. Little by little by little I am pulling up the good and dealing with the bad. So when the three entered my home in the dream, I had the strength and courage to reclaim my territory. Its a good feeling and I hope it stays with me forever.

Thanks, guys, for the responses to the dreams. It was important to me. Angels.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#429655 - 03/31/13 08:21 PM Re: Unsettling Dreams [Re: ThisMan]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3317
Loc: back in the USA
TM - i responded to this but must have forgotten to hit "send"!

what immediately came to my mind when i read about your dream was the title of the book, "Evicting the Perpetrator."

might there be some connection?

and the feeling that you are the one in the wrong - that is so common in survivors - no matter what you do.

sounds predominantly positive to me.
Lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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