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#429444 - 03/29/13 06:24 AM addicted to pretending online
traveller Offline


Registered: 09/30/09
Posts: 27
Loc: Sydney, Australia
Gday

I am addicted to pretending to be someone else online. I think it's all related to my three years of abuse and then 25 years of hiding it. At least I hope so.

Does anyone else do this?

I desperately want to stop doing it.

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#429445 - 03/29/13 06:27 AM Re: addicted to pretending online [Re: traveller]
peroperic2009 Online   content
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
hey traveller,
good that you decided to share your story with us. Many of us are doing something in compuslive manner that has source in abuse.
You are not alone.
You have my hat off because you found courage to talk about it, just proceed like that further!

Pero
_________________________
My story

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#429449 - 03/29/13 08:52 AM Re: addicted to pretending online [Re: traveller]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 747
Loc: michigan
hey traveler,
I'm not exactly sure what you mean pretending to be someone else on line but I have a hard time not pretending in general. I have called it "hiding" just kinda becoming who I need to be to fit in it that certain circumstance. and them of course pretending to fit in and all that if that is what you meant then yea I TOTALLY do it all the time! and yea it is a hard thing to stop frown
heal well
jeff
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#429461 - 03/29/13 10:38 AM Re: addicted to pretending online [Re: traveller]
cosmos Offline


Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 176
Loc: Puget Sound
I thought that everyone acted like that, you know, not like how they really are but how others want to see us, you know normal, its just that our self-image is something someone else created for us without our consent that is way beyond normal experience and for those of us who have never dealt with our abuse it becomes even worse; just another part of ourselves to hate.

Cee
_________________________
"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine

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#429463 - 03/29/13 11:01 AM Re: addicted to pretending online [Re: traveller]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Hey, Lee... just take it for what it is. Its a break from reality. We all pretend every day of life at some level. I pretend to be happy and upbeat EVERY day, because that is role I have been cast for. I pretend these horrible wounds don't exist. And on and on... so, yes, I also pretend. Here, over there... Be easy on yourself and be concerned only if you are hurting someone else, which given your apparent personality, you would never do. And may the Easter bunny bring you a big ol' basket.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#429464 - 03/29/13 11:07 AM Re: addicted to pretending online [Re: traveller]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
I finally had to stop escaping through online fantasy back in 2002: it was compulsive, isolating, and ruining my life, undermining my real relationships, bringing me deep shame, and reactivating my deepest wounds and hopelessness.

It was an attempt to resolve some very deep and subconscious traumas, and getting help for this marked the start of my sexual recovery and efforts to face myself honestly. Admitting the truth was the hardest, but it also helped me to start in a new direction.
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#429466 - 03/29/13 11:21 AM Re: addicted to pretending online [Re: traveller]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 283
Loc: MO
Dear Traveler et al,

I didn't call it pretending. It was what my therapist calls the story of Gene. In it I discounted or minimized my experiences of abuse and its effect on me. I was different so I didn't fit in so I wasn't like you.

Today I share that our stories are different but we are all the same. It is the acceptance that I can not escape the abuse and that the path on am on was not created by meaningful choices, but by selecting between options that were constrained by my abusers and offered not decent choice only lesser evils.

So I can no longer succeed in insisting that it doesn't limit me. That I can be the image I choose, but the damaged and struggling soul who needs to feel the experiences I have repressed for decades in order to heal.

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#429467 - 03/29/13 11:33 AM Re: addicted to pretending online [Re: traveller]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 09:56 PM)

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#429521 - 03/29/13 11:47 PM Re: addicted to pretending online [Re: traveller]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 838
Loc: Kc,Mo
You have to ask the hard question

WHO AM I

than the only place to go from there and it is called honesty and the truth . Start out with the small things
I like to do
I like this or that
I really do not like this or that

Be honest and be brutally honest , I admit even my most confidential things and bring them out into the open . I have been honest even on here revealing things because they are a necessity in order to allow God to begin to work in those areas . The weakness is only weak because we have not been honest and allowed God to work on our weakness . The key is that when we finally do become honest and bear our burdens and weakness he can use them and ultimately use us and our weakness to strengthen us and Give him Glory all at the same time.

Admitting who we are is hard and being honest is hard . Start being honest and true and if you need to pm me to get some of the darker things confessed that is cool . I have no shame bearing my deepest darkest things because it has allowed me to stand on top of my fear instead of bowing down to it .

Let me no whats up brother I am here for you
_________________________
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Video of me telling my story
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http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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