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#429340 - 03/27/13 11:42 PM Humiliation
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1513
Loc: New England
Today I was at an AA meeting, and the speaker talked, among other things, about her struggle with feelings of worthlessness. I identified strongly with that, and when she was done I raised my hand to share my thoughts.

I said that I also have struggled with feeling worthless. That I remembered being a little kid and having to wake my mother up from her alcoholic stupor to put me to bed. Then one night I couldn't rouse her and decided to just put myself to bed from then on. I explained that little kids that aren't being cared for don't say to themselves "This is all my asshole drunken parents fault" Little kids say to themselves "I must be worthless or they would take care of me" And when kids are sexually abused they don't say to themselves "This is all that pervert's fault", they say "This is my fault, I must be worthless". And then that thought is reinforced a thousand ways. Then I spoke about how the 12 steps have helped me to start to overcome those feelings of worthlessness. I felt That I had shared something very personal, profound and deep.

After the meeting I went out to my car and glanced in the mirror. I had had a huge booger hanging out of my nose the whole freaking meeting. Yeah, thats me, the deep, profound perveyor of worthiness, but I can't keep my own snot off my face. Fuck me! (Yes I can see the humor in it, but really?)
_________________________
I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink.
I sit and tell him about my weekend,
But he never betrays what he thinks.
Can you see the real me, doctor?.
The Who

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#429341 - 03/27/13 11:47 PM Re: Humiliation [Re: Jude]
UNCfanMark Offline


Registered: 03/04/13
Posts: 2
Dude, I"m sorry, but this made me laugh my ass off! I think we've all been there .

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#429342 - 03/27/13 11:56 PM Re: Humiliation [Re: Jude]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
But see, none of them laughed at you then and there, because you were carrying the booger with such dignity and poise. smile
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#429358 - 03/28/13 03:28 AM Re: Humiliation [Re: Jude]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
OMG Jude, that's hysterical...ummm...thank you for sharing. smirk

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#429365 - 03/28/13 07:48 AM Re: Humiliation [Re: Jude]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 706
Loc: Southeast USA
I hear you Jude. It's the best laid plans syndrome...

Just this month I was attending a luncheon where a lot of bigwigs were discussing ongoing economic development initiatives. I'm there to support my boss who is taking part on the discussion panel. A question from the audience involving a certain grant comes up. My boss, without warning motions toward me to come up since that was my project. Thanks for having confidence in me Big Guy!

Really, I love this stuff. I had a room full of movers and shakers at my disposal. I gave a thoroughly entertaining off the cuff speech and call for action.

Afterward my boss said, "That was an excellent presentation, but son, your fly was open the whole time you were up there..."

Pants can be zipped and noses can be wiped. Don't beat yourself up though. It's the juxtaposion of a really deep story and a nasal faux paux that provides the humor. I'm betting the takeaway from that meeting was your story.

Will
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

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