For me, rectal spasms were a constant surprise visitor. . . and they would stop me in my tracks. In fact, all I have to do is think of "that," and I get a spasm response. But rectal spasms (huge pain) would hit me all throughout my teens, 20s and 30s. Really bad!
Abdominal spasm too (back then) but they did not follow me beyond 14 yo.
The pain of the actual invasion would cause me to pass-out or maybe leave the scene in my head, but i can still remember it clearly. it was not until those freakin demons realized the use of lotion, Mazzola Oil or spit helped THEM, but it still left me with that mind-blowing initial invasion pain...so bad I could not breathe or hear.
To this day, flashbacks cause my ears to ring and go deaf, my upper back muscles to totally spas-out and contort my neck and 20% of the time, piss myself.
Back before I disclosed, flashbacks were causing my respiration to shut off. i mean NO air ventilating my lungs. i had to pass-out in order to breathe again. My children were witness to it for years, and still remember those "attacks."
It went on for seven years. By about age 9, I figured-out how to "let it happen" without the initial category-5 anal pain wave. Yeah...by 9, I was pretty freakin expert at it.
You NAMBLA freaks reading this???????
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