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#429050 - 03/25/13 09:09 AM Need ideas on letter writing
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 769
Loc: upper south
The T always looks at me in the beginning of my session and says, "Okay, what are we NOT talking about today?" She does this because I have a tendency to say, "I can't talk about that today. It upsets me." I am trying really hard to face my emotions, my fears and my past, so I am working on being more open. But it is hard.

On my visit last week, in her effort to help me, she gave me the assignment of writing a letter to the "hero" cousin I have talked about on MS. Just to remind, he was the one who was killed in the car accident when I was 5. Anyone have a suggestion on how to start this piece of writing. What should I say? It sort of scares me not knowing what emotions may come forth or what words will fall on the screen.
For now we see through a glass, darkly.

#429055 - 03/25/13 09:52 AM Re: Need ideas on letter writing [Re: ThisMan]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1050
This is a very good post and a good question.

How about starting it with the moment just after you read his obituary.

"Dear <cousin>, I just read in the newspaper that you died."

This letter is going to jar a lot of emotions free for you, I think. I think it's good for you to do, but take your time and allow yourself to cry. If you need help getting through it, PM me.

Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

#429056 - 03/25/13 10:00 AM Re: Need ideas on letter writing [Re: ThisMan]
Chase Eric Offline

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2076
What I often do Is just start writing. Sometimes it is the first thought in my head - like starting in the middle of a letter then finding the beginning and closing later. But in any case, just go right from the heart and you will have done all you are supposed to do; everything else is just technical BS

Click my pic to see why I'm here.

#429059 - 03/25/13 10:47 AM Re: Need ideas on letter writing [Re: ThisMan]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3787
Loc: somewhere in Africa
TM -

tell him whatever you wish you'd been able to say once he was gone - and not there to listen. tell him what's happened to you since he's been gone, tell what he meant to you, tell what you've accomplished - about your family and all you wish you'd been able to share with him.

whatever you do will be right. no one is going to judge or grade or correct it. once you begin, you'll find your way. it is likely to get damp. if it gets too difficult, take a break. you are a very capable man and you write well. i am sure it will be a very moving and rewarding experience.

We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

#429157 - 03/26/13 09:14 AM Re: Need ideas on letter writing [Re: ThisMan]
crazy gecko Offline

Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
I think can't has given you a good place to start. What I would suggest is to simply imagine that somehow you managed to go back in time to before he was killed, and have a conversation with him. What would you tell him?

All in all, don't think too much. Just write from the heart. I'm sure that, after the first few sentences, the words will come freely. And the emotions. Write the words as they come, and allow yourself to feel the emotions. If the emotions become too much, take a break, ground yourself, and go back when you are ready. Remember that no one will ever read what you write, unless you choose to share it, so you don't have to hold back anything.

I'm sure you will do fine. wink
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

#429184 - 03/26/13 01:15 PM Re: Need ideas on letter writing [Re: ThisMan]
DRA Offline

Registered: 02/07/13
Posts: 49
Hi ThisMan,

I write every day and usually do just what Chase_Eric suggests: just write. I vacillate between first and third person, monologue and dialogue. Writing is for you, so it can come out however you want. If you listen to your inner voice, you'll know what to say.

You've got this, man.
Strength in power is a false victory rooted in vapid grandiosity. Strength in character and integrity is the freedom to act righteously irrespective of the surrounding pressure. True power is the presence of mind to live with character and integrity.

#429228 - 03/26/13 09:29 PM Re: Need ideas on letter writing [Re: ThisMan]
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 769
Loc: upper south
Guys, I appreciate the encouragement and the suggestions. Truly scared but I think you are all correct in that I just let the words flow. Just procrastinating now so off I go.
For now we see through a glass, darkly.

#429229 - 03/26/13 09:35 PM Re: Need ideas on letter writing [Re: ThisMan]
stumpy Offline

Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 20
Loc: illinios
good luck


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