Farmer boy Lee -
so good to hear that the time with your brother went as well as it did. i was very concerned. sounds like one key was trying not to have expectations that were too specific. glad you were able to do that. of course the anxiety is harder to control.
it does sound like you have made some progress here. not least - the fact that you went through a very triggering situation for an extended period of time and didn't fall apart or melt down.
another great point is that he didn't deny anything - and seems to be leaving the door open to further discussion in the future - that is pretty significant - considering that you have lots of support and have been working on this for some time - and apparently he has not had that.
i respect and admire you for having such mercy on him and would hope that he recognizes this too. that might be a means of strengthening your bonds. it would be wonderful if you could support one another.
stick close to "home" and take it easy for a while, if you can. in my experience, there is sometimes a big emotional let-down that follows an intense event like this. we are here for you.
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago