Newest Members
lilac, The Wife Of, smusab, whiteflag, North101
12287 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
adam319 (46), Bellemaman (36), Bob G. (58), S D Witwicky (38)
Who's Online
0 registered (), 23 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12287 Members
73 Forums
63225 Topics
442120 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#429074 - 03/25/13 01:15 PM The Shame Matrix
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1390
Loc: California
lame BS.


Edited by Magellan (04/19/13 06:35 PM)
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

Top
#429075 - 03/25/13 01:20 PM Re: The Shame Matrix [Re: Magellan]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1039
((((( Magellan )))))

Whatever you've been eating or drinking or smoking lately, I want some of it.

You've gone from nearly hopeless to thriving in an amazingly short time. It is beautiful to witness and support.

To my favorite 41 y/o survivor!

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

Top
#429076 - 03/25/13 01:22 PM Re: The Shame Matrix [Re: Magellan]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 315
Loc: Iowa, USA
Magellan,

This is an excellent analysis of shame. Last week I posted on how alone I felt, and you have shown how intricately related my situation is due to the shame I feel, which can be traced by to CSA. Your writings show the path towards healing and eliminating feelings of isolation. Thanks buddy

DavO

Top
#429079 - 03/25/13 01:42 PM Re: The Shame Matrix [Re: Magellan]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1390
Loc: California
Thanks, Davo, and Can't,

We are the Neo's in the Matrix. We are "The One" - the heroes who will free ourselves from the Matrix. We have to choose the red pill.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=te6qG4yn-Ps

I have a profound new respect and admiration for this movie, now. As a filmmaker, I'm flabberghasted at the symbolism I've always been aware of, but it now has a profoundly deeper meaning.
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

Top
#429097 - 03/25/13 04:32 PM Re: The Shame Matrix [Re: Magellan]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1490
Loc: New England
If I have to be in the Matrix, I want a hot girlfriend like Neo had......I think her name was Trinity.

But seriously, shame is one area I feel I've made progress with......by talking about what happened to me. Each time I disclose, a little more of the shame dissolves.

Jude
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

Top
#429109 - 03/25/13 07:01 PM Re: The Shame Matrix [Re: Magellan]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
I was like crazy after I've seen her in action Jude, same that they didn't use more her skills, she was superb, lol.

Great topic D., good to see you!
And good that we are becoming aware of Matrix which drive us trough our lives wink

We are The One wink

Pero
_________________________
My story

Top
#429123 - 03/25/13 10:19 PM Re: The Shame Matrix [Re: Magellan]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1093
Loc: The ATL
Hi Magellan. Good post. Definitely an interesting perspective on shame and how many of us immerse ourselves in it. At times I've told myself and others that I let go of my inner shame surrounding some of the events of my childhood long ago but when I'm honest with myself I know that's a lie. Shame is a big part of who and what I am. It is a big part of why I became the man I am today. It's part of my very being. I am riddled with it much the same way as a terminal cancer patient may be riddled with malignant tumors. It's in every fiber of my being.

The proof is in the pudding. If I was not ashamed, I wouldn't mind people knowing I was a survivor or discussing my childhood experiences with people. Well, it's been 18 years since I first disclosed the abuse and still almost NO ONE knows except for a few closest to me and I won't even talk about it to them. On the rare occasion that one of them has brought it up or asked about it, I have to hide my anger when I refuse to discuss it. When people ask me questions about it, shame wells up inside me like a high fever, then, anger.

Anyway, it's good to hear that you are finding ways to step out of this "matrix". Maybe someday I'll plod my way out of it as well but for now the path remains dark, hidden and fiercely guarded by personal demons. Fucking scary ones at that. Take care and thanks for posting this. Peace,

Ken

Top
#429141 - 03/26/13 02:13 AM Re: The Shame Matrix [Re: BraveFalcon]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1390
Loc: California
Ken, I strongly suggest trying out the 'lovingkindness' meditation for a week. I found a short version (10 minutes) and after a week of doing it, I swear by it.

It pierced through the veil of my own shame. I don't understand why it works, but its working for me.

D

Originally Posted By: BraveFalcon
Hi Magellan. Good post. Definitely an interesting perspective on shame and how many of us immerse ourselves in it. At times I've told myself and others that I let go of my inner shame surrounding some of the events of my childhood long ago but when I'm honest with myself I know that's a lie. Shame is a big part of who and what I am. It is a big part of why I became the man I am today. It's part of my very being. I am riddled with it much the same way as a terminal cancer patient may be riddled with malignant tumors. It's in every fiber of my being.

The proof is in the pudding. If I was not ashamed, I wouldn't mind people knowing I was a survivor or discussing my childhood experiences with people. Well, it's been 18 years since I first disclosed the abuse and still almost NO ONE knows except for a few closest to me and I won't even talk about it to them. On the rare occasion that one of them has brought it up or asked about it, I have to hide my anger when I refuse to discuss it. When people ask me questions about it, shame wells up inside me like a high fever, then, anger.

Anyway, it's good to hear that you are finding ways to step out of this "matrix". Maybe someday I'll plod my way out of it as well but for now the path remains dark, hidden and fiercely guarded by personal demons. Fucking scary ones at that. Take care and thanks for posting this. Peace,

Ken
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

Top
#429143 - 03/26/13 02:18 AM Re: The Shame Matrix [Re: Magellan]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Excellent post, Magellan! Definitely food for thought.

I believe I was caught up in the Matrix for many years too. Since reconnecting with my younger self last year, I am now aware of the Matrix. I am aware that it is all bullshit.

Thank you for opening my eyes to a whole new level of depth and symbolism in the movie. I feel like watching it again, now!
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

Top
#429214 - 03/26/13 06:16 PM Re: The Shame Matrix [Re: Magellan]
csasurvivor1992 Offline


Registered: 03/25/13
Posts: 132
Loc: Texas
This is AWESOME and an accurate description. I've only been in a therapy a year and have concluded the same thing! It's truly a matrix... dissociation, cognitive distortion, lie. Shame born out of evils acts committed AGAINST us, not BY us.

Sometimes its tough to see the forest for the trees, though.

Thank you Magellan!
_________________________
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.