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#428941 - 03/24/13 03:27 PM The Shame Monster
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1403
Loc: California
lame bs.


Edited by Magellan (04/19/13 06:35 PM)
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#428945 - 03/24/13 03:43 PM Re: The Shame Monster [Re: Magellan]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 330
Loc: Iowa, USA
Magellan,

This is a great post. It's very inspiring, and worth thinking about again and again. Thank you for writing.

DavO

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#428959 - 03/24/13 05:51 PM Re: The Shame Monster [Re: Magellan]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1403
Loc: California
Thanks Davo,

I've been walking around dumbfounded for the last few hours, meditating on this, and thinking about it, and decided to start reading more about it.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/shame-the-core-of-addiction-and-codependency/
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#428994 - 03/24/13 09:30 PM Re: The Shame Monster [Re: Magellan]
txb Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 196
Originally Posted By: Magellan

How does a person start practicing self compassion and self love when they're in the firm grips of shame which convinced them that they are NOT WORTH IT!


I think this is probably my biggest problem. All the things I read about getting over self-harm seem to come down to this. That if a person cares enough about themself they wonít want to hurt themself. That if you can feel compassion for yourself then you wonít feel the need to beat yourself up when you make a mistake. I know this is stupid, but it's better if I take the blame for what happened to me. When itís my fault I can take it out on myself. Forever. There is nothing I can do to them that would be enough punishment.

Even just saying the word shame makes me feel horrible. I think this is what stops me from talking about it. And yes, I have also picked the wrong people to talk to at times. They have just made me feel more horrible, by questioning things that I did or didn't do. I'm glad you have found hope though. I will look into the meditation you mentioned. I'll check out Oprah if I can, but I don't think we get her where I live. Thanks for posting about this.

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#428996 - 03/24/13 09:39 PM Re: The Shame Monster [Re: Magellan]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Welcome to hope D,

It comes and goes, but mostly it sticks around. Nice to see you again,
Sam
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MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#429003 - 03/24/13 11:02 PM Re: The Shame Monster [Re: Magellan]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Magellan-

Great thoughts on Shame. Seems he is my shadow, always lurking nearby. This is a thought provoking post. One does have to be careful with whom they share their pain and shame. The last person I shared my "shame" with has almost destroyed me... or perhaps he created the catalyst that has me moving in the direction of healing... now that's a positive for me regarding the assaults (and maybe the shame). I like that.

I'd like to know more about Metta. Sounds like something I might be wanting to take part in.
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For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#429009 - 03/25/13 12:09 AM Re: The Shame Monster [Re: txb]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1403
Loc: California
Hey TXB, you can watch it online here!

http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Oprah-and-Brene-Brown

And Thisman, you can follow a simple 10 minute guided metta meditation here. I've been doing this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

After about a week of doing it every morning, I noticed a stark difference (for the better) of my internal dialogue.
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

Top


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