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#428903 - 03/24/13 11:31 AM Is this normal?
Suwanee Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1029
Loc: Southeast USA
Well, I know normal is subjective....but I'm asking what is typical or at least something someone else has experienced.

Just last year, I first acknowledged that I was abused. Since then I seem to have approached bits and pieces of what happened. First, it was actually telling others (some) of what happened. Then, I actually filled in more difficult details. Next, I made some connections between acting out and the abuse. Coming up, I'm working toward telling my parents. On top of that, I haven't really explored the fear I felt during that time. It's there as an undercurrent that needs to be addressed. So....have others experienced this same "uneven" healing process...more progress with one aspect, but not another? Just curious...

I see my T next week. I'll ask the her the same question.

I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made. ---FDR


Cruel Summer
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#428905 - 03/24/13 11:52 AM Re: Is this normal? [Re: Suwanee]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1050

I think recovery comes in quantum leaps. There doesn't seem to be any progress until you are able to step back, as you do here, and reflect on where you started and where you are now.

I think uneven progress is the name of the game, especially since there is no road map for recovery and we are all basically groping around in the dark looking for the lost pieces of ourselves with little to no help from anyone else.

As for your fear response, it seems like a good candidate for EMDR work. If you haven't talked with your T about EMDR, maybe now is the right time.

Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

#428911 - 03/24/13 12:03 PM Re: Is this normal? [Re: Suwanee]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3786
Loc: somewhere in Africa
hey, Will!

i think you are asking a reasonable question - but i am not sure there is such a thing as "normal" when it comes to our reactions and ways of dealing with the aftermath of CSA. it seems to me that it is a case of "anything goes" - from what i have seen.

so - yeah - i guess having irregular or chaotic spurts of progress or moving ahead at uneven intervals in different areas is probly a pretty typical way to experience it.

it would be nice if it was more predictable or you could somehow plot it or plan it or something. but look - what happened to us was outside the rational and normal - so our reactions to it are going to be characterized in the same way - and the process of dealing with and repairing the damage is going to be the same way.

i have found that the best approach for me is to work on whatever seems to be exerting the most pressure at the moment - not try to organize it or control it. sort of go with the flow. my subconscious seems to know what i need to do next. that is very opposite to the way i have usually lived my life. i typically like to have lots more control - but it doesn't seem to work that way in this situation. i am learning to be OK with that.

try not to worry about it.
someone else may give you a totally different answer -
and they would be right, too.
we are all unique - that is the one thing we all have in common.

We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9


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