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#428688 - 03/22/13 10:46 AM Hello
Double_D Offline


Registered: 03/21/13
Posts: 4
Loc: Niagara, Ontario, Canada
Hi,

I'm a 38yr old married man with 2 great kids. My oldest is 11, she looks allot like me. My youngest is 5, he looks just like my wife. I've been married 13 years to a wonderful woman that deserves much more that I can ever provide. She is such a loving individual, it pains me to think of what my baggage has caused her. i am truly lucky that she is still with me after the last couple of years.

I'm here to find peace, and to find a way to ensure I stop engaging in destructive behavior. For the last couple of years I tended to do things that risk the very thing that matters most to me....my family...my wife and kids.

my story
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8704#Post428704




Edited by Double_D (03/26/13 09:46 AM)

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#428726 - 03/22/13 03:59 PM Re: Hello [Re: Double_D]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1481
Loc: New England
Welcome DD,

Whatever your story is, I'm glad you survived it to this point. "Destructive behavior?" The consequences you've lived with sound alot like mine and many others here. You are not alone in this.

Anytime you need to talk, publicly or privately, there's always someone here for you. We aren't therapists but we all "get it" and support each other. Be well buddy, you've got 11,000 guys watching your back.

Jude
_________________________
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#428738 - 03/22/13 07:02 PM Re: Hello [Re: Double_D]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Dano

I'm 36yr old married man with 2 great kids. My oldest is 10, she has my eyes. My youngest is 6, he looks lke my wife. I've been married for 13 years to a wonderful women that deserves much more that I have given her lately. I am truly lucky that she is still with me after the last couple of years.

This place has helped me to stop engaging in destructive behavior - along with my Therapist.

You are not alone by any means and there are alot of us that 'get it' as Jude said.

I am truly sorry for whatever happened to you to bring you here but glad you found us.

Lee
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#428894 - 03/24/13 09:12 AM Re: Hello [Re: Double_D]
Rj2660 Offline


Registered: 03/13/13
Posts: 22
Loc: Texas
Dano, many times guys who have been sexually abused, seek destructive behaviors as a way to deal with the stress or post traumatic stress of being molested. It would be a good thing to see the therapist that you mentioned as soon as you possibly can or seek another one if possible. There is a lot to carrying this burden, but you are doing some correct things such as being here and telling your story, getting it out in to the open. This sort of thing is very hard on a Wife and it might be good for her to seek therapy also, maybe with the same person. Staying with a Man in the position that we find ourselves in requires a tremendous amount of patients and faith. You are correct in stating that none of this has anything to do with her. I hope that at some point she can come to believe it. My Wife has hung in there with me through it all. She has been amazing. I know that it has been tough on her. The things she requires of me are, no other Women and that I do the best I possibly can to avoid handling the PTS in wrong ways. This had brought a measure if freedom to me. I am on the honor system with her and I do my best to live up to that. The point is that she is dealing with it in such a way that brings as little stress back to a Man who is already dealing with a lot. Wives need help to cope much as we do, they are living the bad dream with us. If a Man finds a good Wife, he had found a good thing. God bless them! They need all they can get. smile
_________________________
If someone throws trash on my lawn and drives away, it is mine to deal with. I make the decision whether to collect it or take responsibility for cleaning it up. We are the sum of our choices. For some, these were thrust upon us at an age when we were not qualified to take such resposibility. R.J.

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