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#428502 - 03/20/13 09:40 AM rant against my abuser. POSSIBLE TRIGGERS
montecristo Offline


Registered: 03/15/13
Posts: 9
Loc: FLORIDA
YOU DIDN’T STEAL MY INNOCENSE, I WAS INOCENT BEFORE YOU TOOK ME AND USED ME AND I WAS STILL BUTT NAKED INNOCENT WHEN YOU THREW ME OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORM OF GUILT, SHAME AND PREJUDISM.
YEAH I KNOW YOU THOUGHT “LETS MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU” AND YOU DID. I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO ADAPT AND SURVIVE BY MY SELF, HARDEN MY HEART. YOU TOLD ME TO SWALLOW,, AND I DID BUT NO JUST YOUR FILTH, I SWALLOWED MY PRIDE, MY ESTEEM, MY ANGER AND MY SORROW. ALL MY CONFUSION HAD TO BE TAKEN IN BEFORE IT SPREAD TO OTHERS, TO THE ONES I LOVE, NO ONE DESERVES THIS PAIN, AND THE ONLY WAY TO STOP IT WAS TO KEEP IT IN AND SO I DID.
YOU SELFISH BASTARD, YOU LEFT THAT DAY WITH A SMILE IN YOUR FACE, YOU ACCOMPLISH YOUR GOAL, YOU ENJOIED YOU MOMENT, WHILE ME? I HAVE HAD A LIFETIME DESPISING WHO I’VE BECOME.
EVERY MORNING I LOOK AT THE MIRROR AND TREMBLE. BUT HEY, THE SHOW MUST GO ON, PEOPLE DEPEND ON ME. I QUICKLY PUT MAKE UP IN THE MIRROR CHANGE MY FACE, COVER MY SHAME, AND YES HARDEN MY HEART, AND PRAY THE LORD TO GIVE ME THE STRENGH TO PULL IT UP FOR JUST ONE MORE DAY. TO BE THE FATHER AND HUSBAND THAT I OUGHT TO BE. TO KEEP THE STORM INSIDE.
YOU DESERVE TO BE HATED AND RIGHT NOW ALL I WANT TO DO IS TO HURT YOU IN A WAY THAT YOU COULD START TO COMPREHEND, THAT YOU WOULD GET A GLIMPSE OF WHAT MEANS A LIFETIME OF TORTURE. FOR YOU TO LEARN HOW TO SWOLLOW THE POISON YOU GAVE ME. THAT IS THE MAN YOU MADE OUT OF ME.
BUT, THAT IS NOT THE MAN I WILL BECOME. I REFUSE TO BECOME YOU. I WILL NOT BE SELFISH. GOD GRANTED ME THE PRIVILEDGE OF A WIFE AND A DAUGHTER, TWO BEAUTIFULL TREASURE THAT I WILL NOT STAIN WITH YOUR FILTH AND SCUM. TODAY I WILL GET MY VENGANCE UPON YOU. TODAY I DECIDE TO FORGIVE YOU. YOU DON’T DESERVE IT, BUT I DON’T DESERVE EITHER TO KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS. I KNOW THIS IS A DAY TO DAY AND SOME TIMES WOULD BE A MINUTE TO MINUTE DECISION, BUT I WILL HEAL. I WILL COME UP STRONGER. I AM BETTER. TODAY I WILL BECOME THE MAN I WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE.

“Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout as you did in Rome. Do your worst, for I will do mine! Then the fates will know you as we know you”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
_________________________
“Life is a storm. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout: Do your worst, for I will do mine! Then the fates will know you as we know you”
Alexandre Dumas

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#428507 - 03/20/13 10:36 AM Re: rant against my abuser. POSSIBLE TRIGGERS [Re: montecristo]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey rev rat,
I see your pain man, it hurts a lot frown
You threw everything out, good man, must be feeling lighter now...
Keep sharing!

Pero
_________________________
My story

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