You are a very brave woman and I take my hat off to you. Please keep us updated on your progress, you deserve some happiness.

Congratulations on making and following through with a very difficult decision. Wishing you peace, security and healing!

It isn't about his abuse - as someone else said - it is about how he is not dealing with it.

Run, but do him a solid favor and make sure he knows it is about how he is dealing with the abuse and not that he was abused.

He can get help, he can recover and live a wonderful life. HE has to do that though. No one can do it for him.

Dear mkn10 you got many good advices in this difficult situation and I'm happy that you found some strength to take care for yourself. As Still said you are real diamond and I've seen you shining through this topic.

There is nothing left to say beside:

We love you and we are sorry!

mkn... I am also a survivor and touched by your story... u made the right decision. Never let anyone "steal your shine". Be safe.

Angels.

Others have already given you good advice. The situation doesn't sound healthy for you but even though, like another poster already mentioned communcate that you left because he is not dealing with his abuse.

Pleae, get tested. It's better to be safe than sorry.

Stay strong. I wish I had my youth back. I would have left. It's much harder to do with children and ailing health. still, it is a choice, though.
Be well.
Find a man who treats you well.

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to update on how the separation is going, need to tell someone about this.

Well I went two weeks without any contact. It was pretty hard. Then my friend wanted to take me out dancing on Sat night as I'd been staying in my pjs most days. Anyways we live in a small town and who do I see... HIM. He was out at the club with his mates, and basically ran when he saw me. I don't know why, for the life of me, but I ran after him. I was very drunk at this stage. And I just really wanted answers. So I went after him out of the club, but forgot that I had left my bag (with my phone and money in it) with my friend inside, so I could not contact her to tell her I had left the club.

He started acting crazy, there was a cop car on the streets and he went up to it saying he was gonna kick it in. And he kept repeating to me to 'move on' and 'forget about me'. Anyways I felt like I couldn't leave him alone like this and we ended up going back to his house and I was trying to calm him down because he was saying he was a 'bad, evil person'. In the end I fell asleep from all the drinking, totally forgetting about my friend, my phone, letting anyone know where I was etc.

The next morning I wake up to my mum, brother and sister banging on his front door, telling me to get my a** outside. I opened the door, my mum stormed in yelled at me and at him and told him that if I wanted to be with him the family would be closing the door on me for good. I knew I had to go with my family and I had already made the decision to leave the unhealthy relationship. He was hiding under his covers, and my mum went up to him pulled them off, and said "do u want my daughter in your life or not?" He whispered "I just want to get rid of her so I can die alone". My mum didn't tell me he said that until after we had left.

So very confused right now as to what I should do, if anything. He is in major self-destruct mode and I don't know whether some form of serious intervention needs to happen here.

Any advice would be helpful.

Hey girl, my, my, you've had some tough time for weekend.
Please try next time to avoid to get drunk and then to talk with man who is survivor using drugs, alcohol and has many other problems. That is the worst case scenario. And something is telling me that you are not aware in full with what you are dealing and that you here also have serious issues.

Please be more careful and more protective to self and think what more you should do for yourself, it seems you need some help and additional support.
Read more here, please. There are many similar stories where is more than visible how toxic such relationship can bee toward spouses.
Take care of yourself diamond!

You aren't describing a situation that I or any of the other wives that I correspond with regularly, can relate to. You also are not married nor do you have children with this man.

Get the hell out of Dodge!!!! GTFO!!!

Marriage makes things more complicated. Kids--10 times that. My husband has never, NEVER, spoken to me like that, treated me like that. You cannot save him. I'd be more apt to say wait and see (if you so desired) if he were getting help. But he's not!!

Run!!!!! Would you take that shit if he weren't abused?? I hope not!!!

And the STD thing is real. Do you want kids one day? Maybe you'll get lucky and what you catch won't impact your fertility (if it doesn't kill you first). I'd ask for a show of hands of wives who discovered the infidelity because of the STD. My gyno told me I need to get tested for the next EIGHT years (and I came up clear--this time!) It enrages me to think about it so I stuff it down until its time for my annual.

YOU KNOW!! You get to choose!! choose well! choose health. choose wholeness!

Many of us wives had no clue our lives are in danger because of the promiscuity. Emotional abuse and verbal abuse is unacceptable. I'm begging you, leave!!!