It's OK to be angry. And whoever is telling you to let go of your anger must be in a different place than we are, because for the first time in our lives, we have a choice. Could we be angry back then? No. Now we can. Feel that anger.
That post you're talking about was triggering. And like you, I chose to read it, knowing how triggering it would be. This guy is the person my mind cannot comprehend, and it's not his fault. He's the perp AND a victim. He gave the apology none of the rest of us got. I feel for him on a victim level. I appreciate his efforts in attempting to reconcile a horrific act, again from a victim level. But there's another level that (thankfully!) none of us have been. It's on that level that he chose to walk the same road that left us all damaged. And I think he understands we must feel anger from that point of view, no matter how much we wish him success in his total and complete healing.
All of us come from different places. I did trust my uncle who SA me. He was nice to me, or at least I thought he liked me, even if he didn't. And as a kid, I had no idea what he was doing, but it felt dirty, wrong. He is to blame, and I am angry at him, not just for ripping the trust right out of my heart and ruining this pure life I could have lived, but for NOT getting me help, NOT apologizing, NOT going to the police and my parents. I hate him for making me live all these years dealing with his actions while he pretends nothing happened. I hate him for damaging me.
Feel the anger. It's not your fault. And if I did trust my uncle, even look forward to his visit prior to him betraying me, it's STILL not my fault. In order to drill that into my mind, I must sit with the anger at my uncle. And I don't think it's about "letting go". It's not like there's a switch we hit that makes all the anger turn into forgiveness. Over time, the feelings will become less strong. The scar will always be there, but maybe it won't hurt quite so bad.
Hang in there, OK? And nobody has the right to tell you what you can and can't feel. Just feel. That's how it loses its power. Write about your anger. I feel it, too.
"This search for the truth--it's not for the faint of heart."--Goren on 'Law & Order: CI'
"The former things will not be called to mind, neither will they come up into the heart."--Isaiah 65:17