Newest Members
JohnWC, KKumar, J44, Anura, reynel5
12420 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
beginning (34), Gary H. (41), jewelmom (63), kdg2310 (55), Li Yuki (2014), monarchnaps (36), Neverquit (30), Nord (58), SoSad (45)
Who's Online
8 registered (Obi, 7 invisible), 35 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12420 Members
74 Forums
63787 Topics
445434 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#428169 - 03/15/13 05:14 PM Love ME
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 09:36 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

Top
#428187 - 03/15/13 08:32 PM Re: Love ME [Re: bodyguard8367]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 333
Loc: Iowa, USA
G,
I'm a middle aged straight guy. I feel exactly the same as you. Being abused took way too much of my life to deal with. I, too, missed out on lots of life. It seems that this theme occurs to CSA victims, regardless of sexual identity.

Top
#428200 - 03/16/13 12:06 AM Re: Love ME [Re: bodyguard8367]
irishguym Offline


Registered: 02/08/13
Posts: 42
That's a good point Davo..I think the time behind us is less important than the time we have ahead it's important that we do all we can to not keep missing out on tomorrows.

Top
#429497 - 03/29/13 05:34 PM Re: Love ME [Re: bodyguard8367]
wearytraveler Offline


Registered: 01/12/13
Posts: 49
Loc: xxxx
deleted


Edited by wearytraveler (11/10/13 07:03 AM)

Top
#429731 - 04/01/13 01:19 PM Re: Love ME [Re: bodyguard8367]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 09:36 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

Top
#429823 - 04/02/13 01:31 PM Re: Love ME [Re: bodyguard8367]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
I like both Irishguy's and Josh's attitudes on this.

For me, similar to you Geoff, the question is, "Where do I want to live?" My CSA totally fucked up my school, athletics, career. I lost what self-confidence I'd started to build as a teenager, home abuse notwithstanding. It's taken a lifetime to rebuild it (hey, I was in a running club in my 30s and got to re-experience the whole team thing doing 5K and 10K runs). I'm less inclined to live in what-could-have-been since it doesn't help me with today. But it's still there and I acknowledge it. For one, it's part of what makes Lancer Lancer.

I guess I'm talking integration.

Nor do I like living in comparisons. But it happens. Living in a gayborhood, the inevitable physical comparisons with 20-somethings come up. But, forgive me guys, I was pretty clueless about a lot of stuff in my 20s (for one, bought a house in a bad neighborhood and was broken into a couple times before I sold it). In my 30s it was about showing off my material stuff to demonstrate I'd "arrived".

Today I usually don't care. I'm just me. And with the benefit of perspective, I have a good general idea of the younger guys' mindset. Nor do I have any desire to emulate my older midlife crisis compadres who try to wear lo-rise or skinny jeans...or who have to have the latest iPhone/iPad incarnation.

Strange thing is, by being just Lancer, I'm cool anyway! (tho' I DO dress more like Justin Long...umm...501s thankyew)

Top
#429885 - 04/02/13 10:06 PM Re: Love ME [Re: bodyguard8367]
1lifenow Offline


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 408
Loc: west coast
I know I sometimes think I missed out so much and there is no question I missed my early gay years.

At around 4 - the boy next door made me do things, I just thought it was what you had to do to not get pounded.

At 8 - "I think I am a TOMGIRL, not one response except an understanding that I was not ok"

At 11 - the man across the street made me his object to twist and perform.

At puberty - I liked girls, just thought I was maybe bi-curious

At 16 - the abuse stopped when I fell in love with the girl who would become my wife. The 'bi' was at bay.

At the birth of my kids - life was complete

At the middle ages, the bi would not stay at bay. Experimented and felt like hell. Guilt, shame, not the "good dad" I wanted to be.

At late middle ages - that guy who kissed me, kept the gay from ever being at bay again.

At present - spent Easter dinner with my ex, my kids and my bf. I am embracing the gay and live for today, its all we have. All the Chocolate Easter Eggs in the world couldn't make it any sweeter.

Missed my whole life yet here I am. The abuse took so much and I still struggle with many things, but being ok is a place I never thought existed.

I applaud You all for finally embracing the process of finally loosing the fear to "Love ME".



Edited by 1lifenow (04/02/13 10:09 PM)
_________________________
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

Top
#429911 - 04/03/13 05:04 AM Re: Love ME [Re: bodyguard8367]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3610
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey guys this is great thread.
Being bi, gay, straight or asexual it doesn't matter.

Only what matters is finding love and acceptance toward ourselves.
Life and time is passing with speed, we can't change past and lost opportunities but we can have this current moments and make new ones, let's use it in full wink

Pero
_________________________
My story

Top
#429960 - 04/03/13 12:41 PM Re: Love ME [Re: bodyguard8367]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 10:00 PM)

Top
#430117 - 04/04/13 06:56 PM * [Re: bodyguard8367]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 02:21 PM)

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.