I'm so sorry you're having to confront this. A healthy work environment is crucial to a healthy life---especially for survivors. I left a toxic work environment a while back for a better opportunity. After being there 9 years, the place had become toxic to the point where I think it helped trigger the CSA issues. As bad as it was, I hesitated to leave for the unknown---that somehow the toxicity was preferable. It was an abusive relationship.
Here's the takeaway. I did find a better position and left on good terms. Don't believe for a minute you sold your soul. You are using them for a good reference to slide you into something better. Look at this as being more equitable. This could be "mutual aid."
I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made. --FDR
I remember redwood trees, bumper cars and wolverines
The ocean's Trident submarines
Lemons, limes and tangerines
I remember this… R.E.M. 1988Cruel SummerMy Journal