I got kicked in kickboxing. I know… shocking right? I got KICKED in KICKboxing??? Who’d have thought that could happen? But my so-called friend told me it would be non-contact, it was just supposed to be training. And it was, till after when he decided we should have a boxer v kickboxer fight (so he could show off to some girls who were hanging around. And I should add I have not trained properly in over a year now, so I should have just said no). I ended up getting kicked in the lower stomach area. And probably a few other places, but that’s the place that’s bothering me most. When I woke up this morning it felt like this horrible feeling I just knew I felt before. All day I haven’t been able to get rid of this feeling. Why can’t I just get bruised and have it feel like I got kicked??? Why does it have to feel like something from the past?

Today we were having lunch, listening to the radio, on the news they were saying that more soldiers are being diagnosed with PTSD. Same friend says “that’s because they know they can fake it and no one will find out, then they can claim sickness benefits.” Seriously? SERIOUSLY??? Who even thinks those things? I just listened to a guy talking about seeing his friend get blown up. How can some people have no empathy at all?

Lately this seems to be all I think about. Like when I listen to music I can just about always relate the lyrics to abusive situations. And talking to another friend about a book where the ending was ambiguous I said I thought the kid ended up being abused, but he disagreed. When I watch any kind of drama it’s the first thing I assume is going to happen. I think about it before I go to sleep, dream about it then wake up thinking about it.

What can I do to get a break from it? Just like an hour thinking about something else would be nice.

People are stupid. And sounds like this so-called friend of yours takes the cake.

Some people become cold and callous to hide their own weaknesses. Other people are just dumb. Many people only grow when they are forced to grow. Meaning if nothing has ever happened to them to force them to be more understanding, it doesn't naturally develop. That's my theory anyway.

As far as where to get a break from thinking about it . . . I don't know man. Lately I've been pouring my free time into video games.

.

There is nothing wrong with a healthy dose of cynicism in this world but some people do take it to the extreme. I've known a lot of people who I think like to sound overly cynical on purpose, just because they think it makes them sound all cool and edgy. Sounds like your buddy may qualify for that club.

You know, I actually almost posted something similar to this the other day but wound up writing it off because I thought it just made me sound to crazy.

Has anyone else seen the Kia commercial where the little boy asks his parents where babies come from and the father answers him with this elaborate, retarded fucking lie? Then, at the end of the commercial, the little boy says that one of his friends told him babies come from when mommies and daddies...... Then his asshole father drowns out his question by playing some children's music and everyone thinks it's all cute and fucking funny? In case you haven't seen it....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t535BjVmXq8

That's NOT fucking funny! You think his curiosity about sex and the human body is just going to go away? Do those ASSHOLE parents realize that they just slammed the door shut on any future healthy discussion about sexuality he may ever have wanted to have with them? Do they not realize they are planting a seed of shame in his head for having even asked about it? Do they not understand that he will now go and try to find the answers to those questions from OTHER PEOPLE and it may be the last people on the planet they would ever want him finding those things out from? Do they realize that when someone takes him back in the woods and touches him inappropriately he is now much less likley to talk to them about it because of the very seed of shame that THEY PLANTED??? Oh yeah, that commercial is fucking hysterical!

Yeah, no shit. I really had that thought from watching that commercial. Then I thought, Jesus Christ, Ken! You are the only person on this earth who would have watched that dumb commercial and have drawn that ultimate conclusion.

It probably doesn't help that the little boy in the commercial appears to be approximately 7 or so, which is about the age I was the first time I was molested. (I don't remember for sure but I know I was in the second grade, so I was 7 or 8.)

Anyway thanks for starting this thread as it gave me the opportunity to get that out of my system. Sorry about your stomach. I hope that's feeling better now. Peace.

Ken

.

You're not alone txb nor are you BraveFalcon. In fact, last night I was disclosing some of my struggles to a couple of my friends. They are incredulous when it comes to mental health issues in general and PTSD in particular. No doubt, it is born out of an intellectual and emotional ignorance while thriving in the rich soils of the social stigmatization of mental health. I should note my one friend also stated that some soldiers "make it up" for health benefits and what he considered the "prestige" of PTSD status. I challenged his viewpoint while explaining the deleterious effects of PTSD but it is hard to persuade people away from their presumptions. I consider this progress since in the beginning he thought PTSD was not real but now recognizes it. By the way Life's A Dream I had never thought of The Shining in those terms it both intriguing and scary to consider.

Re: The Shining and child abuse - I've actually never seen the movie but in the book the Jack Nicholson character, long before arriving at the hotel, is an abusive alcoholic who breaks his son's arm in his hands "by accident."

Yeah I think this is it exactly. That he thinks it makes him sound cool and edgy. But then there's a point where it just makes him sound like an idiot.

Glad I'm not the only person who sees abuse in everything. Never watched or read The Shining. And never plan to. I can't watch anything scary at all. The guy who abused me used to make me watch scary stuff that I was too young to watch. Though not that long ago something i had seen back then came on TV and it was billed as a "spoof horror". So maybe they weren't that scary after all - didn't watch it to check though. Even if they weren't scary they were terrifying to me at the time. Radiohead, yes, this song is totally about dissociation and abuse. To me. But I just read through peoples comments on the meanings of it on a website, and not one single person said that. People were saying it was about a break up or even about religious stuff. Really people, how are you getting that? Since i had to look through all my Radiohead albums to find the song I ended up listening to a ton of their songs, and practically everything said something to me about abuse. Check out How To Disappear Completely.

I just ran across this which agrees with a lot of your points. You may be on to something.

http://www.collativelearning.com/the%20shining%20-%20chap%2016.html