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#427723 - 03/11/13 03:22 AM Re: What if you knew long ago? [Re: mkn10]
Rosemary Offline


Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 31
Loc: Johannesburg, South Africa
You are a very brave woman and I take my hat off to you. Please keep us updated on your progress, you deserve some happiness.
_________________________
Rosemary

Partner Support
South African Male Survivors Of Sexual Abuse
Web page www.samsosa.org

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#427902 - 03/13/13 10:00 AM Re: What if you knew long ago? [Re: mkn10]
deerhntr Offline


Registered: 02/27/13
Posts: 9
Congratulations on making and following through with a very difficult decision. Wishing you peace, security and healing!

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#427903 - 03/13/13 10:01 AM Re: What if you knew long ago? [Re: mkn10]
sugarbaby Offline


Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 328
It isn't about his abuse - as someone else said - it is about how he is not dealing with it.

Run, but do him a solid favor and make sure he knows it is about how he is dealing with the abuse and not that he was abused.

He can get help, he can recover and live a wonderful life. HE has to do that though. No one can do it for him.

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#427904 - 03/13/13 10:13 AM Re: What if you knew long ago? [Re: mkn10]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3599
Loc: South-East Europe
Originally Posted By: mkn10
I will continue to pray for him every day. A lady I wrote to last year for information on how to help him (while he was in Europe cheating) told me a story about a doctor in a psychiatric word who cured his patients by saying out aloud I love you and Im sorry just to himself, while thinking of a particular patient. But he never did anything directly with the patients, but somehow they all got better! The lady told me that sometimes the best help we can give is from afar. As lame as it sounds (I know it takes a lot of hard work to heal), every day since I heard the story I have been saying I love you and Im sorry and thinking of my survivor.

I LOVE YOU AND IM SORRY


Dear mkn10 you got many good advices in this difficult situation and I'm happy that you found some strength to take care for yourself. As Still said you are real diamond and I've seen you shining through this topic.

There is nothing left to say beside:

We love you and we are sorry!
_________________________
My story

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#427950 - 03/13/13 04:52 PM Re: What if you knew long ago? [Re: mkn10]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
mkn... I am also a survivor and touched by your story... u made the right decision. Never let anyone "steal your shine". Be safe.

Angels.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#428155 - 03/15/13 02:51 PM Re: What if you knew long ago? [Re: mkn10]
Shawushka Offline


Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 128
Loc: VA
Others have already given you good advice. The situation doesn't sound healthy for you but even though, like another poster already mentioned communcate that you left because he is not dealing with his abuse.
Quote:
Im also worried about possible STDs.

Pleae, get tested. It's better to be safe than sorry.

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#428190 - 03/15/13 09:30 PM Re: What if you knew long ago? [Re: mkn10]
Sad in the Midwe Offline


Registered: 12/23/09
Posts: 19
Stay strong. I wish I had my youth back. I would have left. It's much harder to do with children and ailing health. still, it is a choice, though.
Be well.
Find a man who treats you well.

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#428318 - 03/17/13 06:22 PM Re: What if you knew long ago? [Re: mkn10]
mkn10 Offline


Registered: 06/30/12
Posts: 27
Hey everyone


Edited by mkn10 (07/14/13 12:21 AM)

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#428319 - 03/17/13 06:37 PM Re: What if you knew long ago? [Re: mkn10]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3599
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey girl, my, my, you've had some tough time for weekend.
Please try next time to avoid to get drunk and then to talk with man who is survivor using drugs, alcohol and has many other problems. That is the worst case scenario. And something is telling me that you are not aware in full with what you are dealing and that you here also have serious issues.

Please be more careful and more protective to self and think what more you should do for yourself, it seems you need some help and additional support.
Read more here, please. There are many similar stories where is more than visible how toxic such relationship can bee toward spouses.
Take care of yourself diamond!
_________________________
My story

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#428478 - 03/19/13 11:59 PM Re: What if you knew long ago? [Re: mkn10]
GoodHope Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/05/11
Posts: 413
You aren't describing a situation that I or any of the other wives that I correspond with regularly, can relate to. You also are not married nor do you have children with this man.

Get the hell out of Dodge!!!! GTFO!!!

Marriage makes things more complicated. Kids--10 times that. My husband has never, NEVER, spoken to me like that, treated me like that. You cannot save him. I'd be more apt to say wait and see (if you so desired) if he were getting help. But he's not!!

Run!!!!! Would you take that shit if he weren't abused?? I hope not!!!

And the STD thing is real. Do you want kids one day? Maybe you'll get lucky and what you catch won't impact your fertility (if it doesn't kill you first). I'd ask for a show of hands of wives who discovered the infidelity because of the STD. My gyno told me I need to get tested for the next EIGHT years (and I came up clear--this time!) It enrages me to think about it so I stuff it down until its time for my annual.

YOU KNOW!! You get to choose!! choose well! choose health. choose wholeness!

Many of us wives had no clue our lives are in danger because of the promiscuity. Emotional abuse and verbal abuse is unacceptable. I'm begging you, leave!!!
_________________________
Wife of a survivor

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