I am surprised at this.
When another man puts his hands on my body without my consent, I usually am very vocal, immediately. I am gay, but even so, just because I enjoy sex with other males doesn't mean I don't have a say in WHO!!!
The very next time you see this particular guy walk straight up to him and say, "I should tell you that while I appreciate being complemented on my physique, I don't allow other men to touch me like that, never do it again."
I would not have liked it and it is never too late to tell him NO.
I have decided to rethink my response by quoting yours.
Im not sure if this is offensive to any gay man here. If it is I apologise.--NOPE I AM NOT A BIT OFFENDED, WHAT I AM IS OUTRAGED AND TRIGGERED. I don't mind flirting from men while I am straight. I take it as a compliment and today I cannot tell if a man is gay or straight until he says so. --I AM GRATIFIED TO SEE THAT YOU TREAT GAY PERSONS WITH RESPECT AND WITHOUT STEREOTYPING
There is a bodybuilder at my gym who seems to be everywhere I am. Yesterday, he asked me in the showers "How did you sculp that ass man? It is perfect?" He cupped and smacked my ass firmly.--THIS IS TOTALLY BEYOND THE PALE. HE IS PLACING HIS OWN WANTS ABOVE YOURS I am usually the bigger guy but this guy has some muscle and height on me. We were alone and for the first time I felt a bit vulnerable naked with .....I just didn't think he was a nice guy.....he is strong. He is built well....
Is this a common scenerio in gay attacks?--AS YOU ARE AWARE, EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT.. Am I being over sensitive?--ABSOLUTELY NOT Am I being homophobic?--HELL NO Men smack asses in sports and among friends all the time. This just gave me a weird feeling.
OK...Sorry about all caps, but here are my thoughts.
1) Dude didn't have the right to touch you no matter what his sexuality.
2) Dude made you uncomfortable because he was making it clear that he wasn't respectful of your boundaries
3) Even in the Gay Bathhouses touching is precluded by permission. You don't ever push yourself onto someone who isn't SAYING yes.
4) When I was in therapy I learned to listen to my inner voice. If I feel threatened it is because I am being threatened. If I feel unsafe it is because I am in a situation that is unsafe.
5) I don't think you are in a position to be overpowered, but I don't know that. Your inner voice is THE AUTHORITY on your safety and if you feel like the dude violated you then I agree you were.
6) Dude totally violated your physical boundaries and you need to protect yourself.
7) Dude is totally following you around and you noticed it.
8) I would arrange for someone to go with me to the gym for a few weeks. I would not be alone with this guy until we had cleared up his intentions and set some boundaries. (not to be rude but...DON'T, STOP, NO, and OFF are all appropriate here)
One thing for sure, today I will NOT allow my inner child to be brutalized again. I will OBJECT, I will DEFEND, I will BE VERY CLEAR and VOCAL about it. I WILL NOT STAND IDLY BY, Dude will get told in no uncertain terms that he is NOT to touch me again.
Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/19/13 08:14 PM)
Edit Reason: respond to questions