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#427556 - 03/09/13 05:09 AM Oprah show
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
About 2 yrs ago i went on Oprahs website and i was surfing around and there was a link "tell us your story " so i did ( i gave details I'm not going to hold back or hide any thing) and put it out of my mind and didn't give it another thought, 2days go by and one of her producers calls me, i was floored i never thought someone would be contacting me, surprise, anyway this woman i spoke to I spoke to her for 45 mins she told me there would 250 men who were male survivors from all the country going to this event, 4 days later i was in Chicago, i was a nervous wreck and i wanted to go home, let me just tell you the days leading up to going to Chicago i had no idea what to expect i wanted to back out, i stuck it out and got on the plane in Boston and landed in Chicagos O'hare airport, we filled out a bunch of paperwork when we arrived and, here's the celebrity treatment, Oprah gave us a $250.00 dinner voucher each and put us up in a 5 star hotel she treated us like we mattered, finally the next day we had lunch and met a bunch of people/ producers and staff who worked for her and were then, after we had lunch, brought into her studio where all the magic happens, lots of taping and she did not come out yet from backstage, then all of a sudden she comes walking out barefoot, yes barefoot the place erupted , with her heels in the air waving them around and says "i only wear these only when i have to " she is such a sweetie, i know there are some people who don't like her, i don't get it, anyway for someone with all the money she has and her celebrity you would think she'd be a little bit snorty not at all, she came right into the audience and shook hands, not me i wasn't lucky enough, i was however within 5 ft of her as she was walking around saying hi, i can tell you this she has an energy that was palpable, it was a pleasure being in her presence, it was an experience I will not soon forget, the best 3 days i ever had, it was well worth it, I'd do it again, pretty special, she nailed it when she spoke about sexual abuse of men, she had a guest, Tyler Perry, he, in my opinon was pretty selfish, he shared his abuse but monopolized more than half the show, i was pretty upset because he was a guest and i feel he took advantage of the situation, oh well it is what it is right. I'm truly grateful i had that experience and Oprah brought to the forefront a huge issue for us men, childhood sexual abuse.


Edited by thecoopstah (03/09/13 05:10 AM)
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#427557 - 03/09/13 08:26 AM Re: Oprah show [Re: thecoopstah]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi thecoopstah

What an awesome story. I am proud of you for having taken such a bold step.
As for Tyler Perry, well he might be a self promoter, but I would love to get him to Africa, he is famous, Black and speaks of his past. I would love to get Sugar Ray Leonard out here too. Wow that would make a huge impact in South Africa. My Problem here is the cultural differences,and I am the only one that speaks out about his abuse, so people can say that's a white dude, doesn't happen in our culture.

I envy you having been in the same room as Oprah, man that lady saved my life literally, if it were not for her 200 men show I would probably have killed myself.

Well done man You're a brave man and brave men do brave things

Martin
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#427561 - 03/09/13 09:16 AM Re: Oprah show [Re: thecoopstah]
stumpy Offline


Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 20
Loc: illinios
i've been reading this with interest,from oyur reply i take it sugar ray leonard was abused? thats something i never knew.
stumpy

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#427563 - 03/09/13 09:45 AM Re: Oprah show [Re: thecoopstah]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
Since we're on the subject Leavernius Coles who played for the New York Jets was also Sexually Abused by his next door neighbor for 8 years , and he still played in the NFL he held his head high and could have cared less what other people thought, WE ARE ALL MIRACLES, don't let anyone tell you otherwise , to survive what we did when it was so painful and dark some days when we thought we couldn't go on is critical , so honor that, honor your inner child who right now, at least for me anyway , still needs to be prtoected from the outside world because he's so used to feeling unsafe ,i do believe THIS WORLD IS SAFE , it's just that we , i , was subjected to people who were extremely damaged and sick.I am in a small way so excited i am a part of such an amazing site - Male Survivor - that truly saved my life and for that i'm grateful, WHOME - i'm just another guy who refused to be held down and become stagnant for fear of what others might say or not say , i have alot of reasons why i chose to go on Oprahs show , it was almost a dream come true that i NEVER thought would ever happen , like i said i thought nothing of it and didn't give it another thought until one of her producers called me and the rest is history.WHOME i envy you for being so couragous in coming forward with your abuse, god bless you .

Rich


PS: My opinon of Tyler Perry will never change he turned me off with his self seeking ways and he knew exactly what he was doing but he made damn sure what he was doing but he made it about him and that is what really ticked me off ( i wanted to say something else, but restraint of pen and toungue go a long way )


Edited by thecoopstah (03/09/13 09:50 AM)
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#427564 - 03/09/13 10:30 AM Re: Oprah show [Re: thecoopstah]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 614
Loc: where the shadows lie
I'm cool hearing that Tyler Perry is a self-promoting jerk. Most people in the world are. I've never been a fan of his, but the way he told his story on that show resonated with me and was a turning point in my acceptance of myself, so I'm glad he did it. Most of the time people have messed up motivations for even the nicest stuff they do, so I don't even try to figure out the "why" and just be glad that they did something mostly beneficial.

edit: I do feel that famous people coming out with their story is a two-edged sword. Obviously, I'm happy for their success and like I just said their words have helped me. On the other hand, sometimes when highly successful people talk about what they overcame it can unintentionally make it seem like it wasn't a big deal. Like if Tyler Perry can live through and still be (supposedly) likable, why do I have such a hard time socializing with people? I know and you know that its because everyone reacts differently, but the world at large doesn't always know that and I'm afraid it can make them judge us even more harshly.


Edited by Jacob S (03/09/13 10:33 AM)
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#427569 - 03/09/13 11:29 AM Re: Oprah show [Re: thecoopstah]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
It is true that the famous may lesson the impact of the abuse on us mere mortals.
My situation is that I am a lone voice in South Africa, someone famous will help a lot.
The reason I like Sugar Ray is because he doesn't seek the attention, he has enough fame and he is down to earth and caring. My hero.
You guys are all hero's we might not be famous, but through talking we might become a hero to one person, and he may go on to change the world.

You Guys are great
Martin
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#427570 - 03/09/13 12:09 PM Re: Oprah show [Re: thecoopstah]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1400
Loc: kansas
....


Edited by Obi (05/03/13 06:12 PM)
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#427579 - 03/09/13 01:26 PM Re: Oprah show [Re: thecoopstah]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3390
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Hi coop,

that trip is forever tatooed into my mind as well - it was a privilege to be a part of that group of brave men even though I did not say a word or even get in a camera shot (to be able to say to others - see i really was there)

Oprah "gets it" - you could see it in her eyes

Perry... - well... I agree with you that he monopolized his time on camera to promote himself - sadly, it was as if he did not care at all about the other 250 abused males in the room
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#427588 - 03/09/13 03:29 PM Re: Oprah show [Re: thecoopstah]
Publius Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/13/12
Posts: 425
Loc: OH
I am happy to hear you went and enjoyed a healing experience. Oprah's 200 man show was the first time I saw anything on TV about male CSA. Specifically, I remember Tyler Perry's words "people don't understand I died that day," which really resonated with me back at the beginning of my recovery. It is disappointing to hear what he did at your taping since his success and prestige is a testament to all of our potential in whatever pursuit we choose. Nevertheless, everybody including survivors are capable of being selfish from time to time and this sounds like one of those times. It's made worse, however, because we get so few of these opportunities even outside of mass media to all come together to share.

If I recall Oprah herself is a survivor so it is heartening to see her using some of her money and clout to help other survivors. That being said I also want to thank you for your courage. As someone who has trouble traveling even 45 minutes this way or that without anxiety and fear of a panic attack I understand how hard it must have been to go all the way to Chicago. But in doing so you helped create another event for survivors everywhere too see and know they are not alone.
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#427592 - 03/09/13 03:52 PM Re: Oprah show [Re: TJ jeff]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
TJ jeff - I'm glad someone sees it for what it is , Tyler Perry took the stage and audience hostage, but enough about him, i came to MS because i love this site and the men who belong to it, we are all brave men who simply want to allow others, because we told our stories, to share their stories and encourage them to open up and maybe one day move on and live your life they you so rightfully deserve,TJ jeff thank you for being you , i know you didn't have to share yet you did, god bless you.

Coop

PS: Antwone Fisher and "who will cry for the little boy" my all time favorite movie as far as the plot goes...loved it.



Edited by thecoopstah (03/09/13 03:55 PM)
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