Will, I havn't posted here in a while but I can really relate to this post. I too was physically and severly sexually abused groing up. I am still reeling from the hurricane of affects.
I did however, make a very concrete decision long ago, when I married and had children, to make damed sure my two boys 8 and 5, have a safe place, with a loving family to grow up in. I love them more than myself and cannot imagine inflicting the pain and hurt I was put through. Even though at times I feel like shit. It is very comforting that I could still be a good and loving father and husband to my family. Sometimes I get a bit scared I am goning to loose it, in front of them or somthing, but thank God it hasn't happened and I make sure they aren't affected by my issues. And when I see their beautiful happy, confident carefree, smiles it makes me wanta just try harder, and to some extent takes some of my pain away.