This is a great place for validation and fellowship with men who have had similar experiences and feelings. Go easy on yourself, you are just starting to rebuild oyur soul. That takes courage, patience and balls. Please read as you feel able, and post when you feel comfortable doing so. There's no pressure here, no judgement, and no condemnation.
"In the burning Heart, Just about to burst
There's a quest for answers, An unquenchable thirst
In the darkest night, Rising like a spire
In the burning heart, The unmistakable fire"Survivor