This is a great place for validation and fellowship with men who have had similar experiences and feelings. Go easy on yourself, you are just starting to rebuild oyur soul. That takes courage, patience and balls. Please read as you feel able, and post when you feel comfortable doing so. There's no pressure here, no judgement, and no condemnation.
"And it's run for the roses as fast as you can
Your fate is delivered, your moment's at hand
It's the chance of a lifetime, in a lifetime of chance
And it's high time you joined in the dance"-Dan Fogelberg