Hey There Magellan,
I watched the intro and it happens to run parallel with just what I've been working on myself. I recently said in an AA meeting on the topic of acceptance, that "There are only two things I have a problem accepting...myself and everybody else" But self acceptance is by far the harder task.
So many years of negative messages about myself, from me and others. And the ultimate negative message: Being sexually abused. That act itself told me that I'm worthless and bad in such a deep and fundamental way, that at times I question whether I can ever completely recover from it. All the self-affirmations and self-nurturing I've done never seems to completely undo that moment 42 years ago when I came to hate myself.
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "Joni Mitchell