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#427277 - 03/06/13 09:31 AM I was fired, I'll never amount to anything
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
I'm a screw up, why can't I get things right, I'm always having issues with concentration, making mistakes. I feel like I'll always be this way and I'll never make something of my life. I've tried medications, therapy for 8 years on and off and I never had any luck. Now that I'm fired and don't have extra money I won't be able to see a T out of network. So whats the use.

I'm a failure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jason
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#427279 - 03/06/13 09:34 AM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
Jwmcd2 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/03/12
Posts: 62
Hey brother, the thing is that you on't need to ruin yourself. Having to deal with stuff sometimes is a full job in and of itself.

Sometimes, we make "mistakes". The important part is learning and growing.

I'm thinking about you. You've had to start with a pretty hard lesson now, but it will give you plenty more tact and a better approach next time around. Be kind to yourself right now.

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#427280 - 03/06/13 09:51 AM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Oh man that is really bad news frown
Don't be hard on yourself, you are not failure!
I often have bad days when barely function and difficult situations at work are happening all time to all of us frown
Please look how to protect yourself in all this and how to be assertive in search for another job.

(((Jason)))
_________________________
My story

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#427285 - 03/06/13 11:13 AM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6397
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I'm very sorry to hear this Jason. I know the strain this job and the last job have been.

I'll tell these guys some things they may not realize...That you had your first job for I think 14 years??? THAT is evidence that someone NEEDED you there anad that you delivered what they needed!

Then you successfully transitioned from one industry to an entirely different one.

None of this will take away the pain of today. You are right to have pain and sadness and frustration over this. Absolutely! And you need to mourn the loss. But I hope you can see some pretty amazing positive aspects of your efforts. There ARE successes in your work-life!
_________________________
Wish You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#427293 - 03/06/13 12:56 PM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1399
Loc: California
I don't know you, but I do have to say -- that you were able to GET the job in the first place, you did THAT right. It sounds like you've had other jobs as well, you got THAT right. You've tried medications, and have been in therapy for 8 years - you got THAT right as well. Seeking recovery is something you're doing RIGHT. That you're on MS and posting, is also something you're doing RIGHT.

From where I sit, I don't think you're a 'screw up', nor do I think you can't do anything right.

You got fired from a job. We've all been fired from jobs. I have too. That doesn't make me a total failure. And it doesn't make you a total failure. It was a set back, a disappointment, something to be pretty upset over. But not an excuse to beat yourself up into a bloody pulp.

D

Originally Posted By: onlyakid
I'm a screw up, why can't I get things right, I'm always having issues with concentration, making mistakes. I feel like I'll always be this way and I'll never make something of my life. I've tried medications, therapy for 8 years on and off and I never had any luck. Now that I'm fired and don't have extra money I won't be able to see a T out of network. So whats the use.

I'm a failure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jason
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#427340 - 03/06/13 09:15 PM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1343
Hi OnlyAKid,

You are NOT a "screw up!"

There are many who have been through much less hell in their lives who are not able to accomplish or do as much as you have done.

You will not have to stop seeing your T, either. Unemployment will kick in, but there may be a "waiting period." There will probably be a "phone hearing" and if UE decides in your favor, they will not impose the waiting period.

If you feel you need a break to work on yourself, perhaps a period of temporary disability may help. I do not say this becuase I do not believe in you, I say it because it may be another option and it may help reduce some of the pressure you are experiencing.

While you are unemployed you also qualify for assitance with food, electric and phone.

Stop kicking yourself. Beating yourself up is not what you need, or deserve.

Who knows why your boss/ company made that decision? Perhaps you were their scapegoat. I have seen that happen more times than I care to count. It may have been a situation of "you" or one of the managers/ supervisors that was slated to lose their job, and when that happens, it is always the employee who loses. Companies also mistakenly believe taht if they fire someone, vs. laying them off, they don't have to pay for the unemployment. That is incorrect.

As upset as you are right now, and as illogical as it sounds, go do something nice for yourself. It doesn't have to cost money, but it does have to give you some enjoyment. Lounge in the tub, put on some music, watch a movie, etc.

If you tend to isolate yourself during times of stress, reach out to others. You never know where you may find your next job lead.

You are NOT a "failure!!!"





Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#427346 - 03/06/13 10:30 PM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: Anomalous]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1096
Loc: The ATL


Hi OnlyAKid. I'm really sorry to hear about what happened. Getting fired from your job is one of the most frightening and frustrating things that can happen in the adult world. I know because I was unexpectedly fired from a job after working for the same company for over 12 years for almost no reason. Looking back, it may have been a blessing in disguise because this was probably the least employee-friendly company I've ever worked for, with upper management consisting of a bunch of soulless, yes-man, corporate Nazis. Because I don't want to sound bitter, I won't mention the name of the company other than to say it began with Papa and ended with John's. Whoops.

It sounds like you and I have a problem in common. My problems with concentration, with "spacing out", have been a huge hindrance in my life. That problem has held me back a lot in life and I often wonder how my life would be if I had a normal brain. That's why I've mostly stuck to jobs where I can either work on my own or that don't require a huge degree of high-functioning concentration, because I know I can't do those jobs.

I don't know what your skill set is, what kind of work you've done in the past, what your education is or what your earning requirements are. So, the suggestions I'm about to give may be way off-base. That being said, for me, doing delivery work wasn't bad because I was out on my own a lot just driving. Not a huge amount of concentration always involved there. Not compared to other jobs anyway. Also, when I f'ed up, a lot of times I could cover my tracks and kind of fly under the radar. Right now, I take care of office plants for a living. Kind of the same thing. I'm out on my own a lot and I don't have some pig boss standing over my shoulder witnessing every little screw-up. You're not going to get rich doing stuff like that but it pays the bills and could be a quick fix to keep income coming in if nothing else.

Please keep us updated on your search for new employment. My thoughts are with you and my fingers are crossed for you. I hope you find something soon. Good luck.

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#427356 - 03/07/13 01:19 AM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Thank you for all of your great replies, I appreciate it. Obviously its still fresh and I think I overreacted especially because I've never been fired before.

I had one job that I started when I was 16-17 fixing computers and it lasted up until 2 1/2 years ago when I switched careers because the business had slowed up and there was no room for advancement. I had been virtually unemployed after my hours were cut to nil and I collected partial unemployment. Then I was taken back to almost full time at a reduced salary because the owner who was the only one left working at the time got a new job so that he could make ends meet and help put money into the store. When I left the store closed after being in business for 21 years. I did make alot of mistakes and I was always belitted because of it, sometimes I thought that he kept me around because it was fun belitting me.

Anyway, I just talked to a former co-worker and he said that my department director didn't want to fire me but HR made the decision. Seems like someone from the nursing stuff or a doctor complained. That makes me feel somewhat better even though it doesn't change the fact that I was fired.

I'm lucky that I live at home so I don't have rent to contend with but I do have CC bills so hopefully I will get approved for unemployment.
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#427366 - 03/07/13 08:44 AM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
I don't mean to be needy but I guess I am. Things are getting better as far as my emotions go but I'm still a bit hurt by it. The more I think about it the more I believe they overreacted. Although I made mistakes in the past I still don't believe it should have risen to the level of termination. The fact that I put I didn't deliver an IV label (ok it was printed twice and I did incorrectly put it in the labels to be filed bin) while a mistake in judgement should not have caused the delay in making or delivering the medication. What if the label printer did not work? If the medication was so urgent the proper thing for the pharmacist to have done was to
hand write the label using a blank label and ship it up to the floor. In addition a paper copy of the doctors order (prescription) could have been cut out and taped. I've seen both things done when the label printer wasn't functioning. However this pharmacist obviously panicked and didn't think of that she was set on using the label. The Pharmacist in question is a nice person and I wouldn't want her to get suspended or fired but I do think its was more her handling of the situation that raised this to a level of a more serious mistake.
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#427368 - 03/07/13 09:28 AM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
Jason,

As others have noted, this is a really harsh blow to the identity / self-image. I'm sorry they jumped the gun on you, but if you generally did well at that job you shoukd be able to get something similar. You can use just a friendly colleague as a reference, and new prospective jobs are forbidden by law from asking the old one why you left.

I was very "firing-prone" for some time, partly due to concentration / spaciness issues, partly sheer bad luck. Starting a new job like 3 months before 9/11, and then years later starting another one 2 months before the financial crisis hit, was really just an exercise in scheduling the collection of unemployment checks. I got fired A LOT before I found something I was good at, could pay attention to, meet all my deadlines, and that society valued enough to pay well for. Don't lose hope.


Matt
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#427408 - 03/07/13 07:25 PM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: SoccerStar]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1096
Loc: The ATL

Something I forgot to mention last night. Don't even THINK about taking a job waiting tables. If you have the kind of attention/concentration problems I have it will be a living nightmare. I did it at an O'Charley's for about nine months once and it was the worst employment experience of my life. I never got fired but that was only because the location I worked at had a high turn-over rate and was desperate for people. I was threatened with firing numerous times though and had customers get pissed at me almost every day. I was only given three and four table sections at a time when the other servers there got five and six tables, because the managers knew I couldn't handle it, and I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. Shit, I even managed to fuck-up three table sections. I was the laughing stock of the place among the other servers. It was horrible. I don't know if you've ever considered waiting tables before but if you have, DON'T! Just a friendly warning. Peace.

Ken

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#427462 - 03/08/13 08:03 AM " [Re: onlyakid]
lbcali1978 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/12
Posts: 217
"


Edited by lbcali1978 (04/28/13 11:38 PM)

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#427473 - 03/08/13 11:33 AM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6397
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Hey Jason....

"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

No?

_________________________
Wish You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#427475 - 03/08/13 11:51 AM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: Still]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Yep, still that's the one. I used to have MasterCard Commerical written after it but I had to add something and I had to remove the sources of the quotes to be under the 300 character limit.

But yes that is where it comes from

http://youtu.be/1cNDSPutas8

To further quote the Commerical
"There are somethings money can't buy"

Not for all the money in the world. You guys rock!!!!!!!!!!
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#427477 - 03/08/13 11:55 AM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6397
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I remember when you originally posted it.
_________________________
Wish You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#427478 - 03/08/13 11:58 AM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Everytime I watch that Commerical I just smile and feel all warm and good inside
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#427479 - 03/08/13 12:00 PM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
If we ever do meet at a WOR or something, we so have to dance like that!!!
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#427482 - 03/08/13 12:03 PM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6397
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I'll bring the backpacks!
_________________________
Wish You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

Top
#427560 - 03/09/13 09:03 AM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hey Kid

I know that it is simplistic, but you are what you think you are.

Lets look at what you are.
You are one tough SOB
You have endured the most vile act in life, AND SURVIVED.
You have faced what was done to you, AND SURVIVED.
You have come through So much AND SURVIVED
Dont sell yourself short, I can tell you that if anyone in that company that you worked for had been through what you have, they would probably taken the short cut out of life. You are still here. YOU ARE A SURVIVOR. one tough SOB

Heal well Bro
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#427594 - 03/09/13 04:01 PM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Well I told my folks and while I was really scared it turned out really well they were very supportive and my fears like most of them I have we're unfounded.

I again want to thank everybody who wrote and supported me here. Like the MasterCard commercial everyone here is truly priceless.

Thank you
Jason
_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#427765 - 03/11/13 05:47 PM Re: I was fired, I'll never amount to anything [Re: onlyakid]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
I havent been here for a while Kid and I see you have taken the next brave step and told everyone your name

Nice to meet you Jason.
Glad you are feeling better

Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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